namaste

..to you and to you.
'just got back from yoga class and
the stress from the day is nearly gone.
i just can't wait til we get this one
client out of our hands for good.
i spent all day today working on
their case...ALL.FREAKING.DAY...
which of course means even MORE
case files for me to worry about tomorrow.
yay for me. :(

but thanks to yoga and all the crazy
one-legged poses I had to do tonight
(or at least attempted) I have been able to
quell that nasty feeling in my tummy
that stress always brings about.
the chaotic images of my day are
slowly fading from my mind
along with the icky feeling that comes with it.

me and the bf have been doing yoga once a week for 3 weeks now.
It's been great...I definitely feel like my body
is changing for the better from it.
I actually breath deeper, am more flexible
- particularly in my lower back, and
I'm actually enjoying exercising again.


almost atkins

did i tell you that as of last week
i've also been staving off of carbs?
I didn't go crazy and stop eating fruits or anything,
but I've definitely cut out all the simple carbs
from my diet, i.e. breads, rice, pasta.
my energy level is actually more...level
and i'm finally eating more veggies
and getting more creative with meals.

honestly, it is quite liberating to not
feel like i HAVE to have rice or bread
to make me full. Me and the BF have
been cooking a lot more, too.

in fact, I've been re-discovering old recipes
that I have forgotten about since
it's so much faster and more convenient
to just have eggs and rice for dinner.
tonight, we're actually gonna make some
fish with a tomato/onion/garlic/olive oil sauce
and eat it with sitaw (chinese long beans) sauteed
with onions and bagoong.
yum!

I should probably start now
but the warmth of the laptop on
my legs is making it wayyyy too comfy
for me to get up and cook.

ode to the mail lady

before i go, i just had to write about
my encounter with the beautiful woman in
our office building who makes sure
we get our mail everyday.

it's always a pleasure to see her
on the days when i have to pick up
the mail for our office suite.
as soon as I step into the doorway of her
mail room, she always greets me with the
funny name she made up for me and
my other co-worker who also picks up the mail.
the name is a combination of my and my co-worker's names.
in any case, she towers over me...a black woman almost 6 feet tall.
but as outspoken and sassy as she is, she always
sends me good vibes for the day.

of course, she'll always crack a joke or
two and subtly suggest that next time
we come for the mail, we bring a nice cup of
coffee for her or whatever other food we've got.

there are other times when she'll be
complaining about how overworked she is
in that mailroom. it's those days
when you have no choice really but to listen
to her vent and bitch about
her crummy boss who thinks that
hiring only one person to sort 2,000 pieces of mail
per day is enough. I'm ok with listening to
her, though, cause I've been there myself.
At college i used to work in the mail room on
campus and did the exact same thing in a
lonely "dungeon" just like her.

then there was today.
she asked me how i was doing and of course
i told her about the chaos and craziness
of today.
in fact, just a few minutes before i made my
way to her mailroom, i was hot and bothered
about other stuff...the usual work issues i've
been dealing with all year. somehow, it managed to
creep up on me again.

then for some reason,
our lovely mail lady understood.
somehow, she saw past the facade, the
joking way i expressed my troubles.
somehow she knew that my pain was real
and she let me know it.

the first thing she told me to do was
breath.
then, she gave me a quick shiatsu massage on
my neck and shoulders and just told me
to let go of the crap i was dealing with.
i almost felt like crying.
how did she know that there was more to my usual
"it's just one of those days"
complaints?

After our brief relaxation session, she handed me my
mail. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her
thank you...Thank you for being human.
Thank you for not letting this crazy,
corporate hell eat up your heart.
Thank you for showing me the kind of compassion
and down-to-earthness
that I miss in my work environment.

Instead, I told her, "God bless you".

Tomorrow I think I'll follow it up with that nice cup of
coffee she keeps hinting about and some pastries.

in the bubble

why does it always feel like
getting to what I really want in life
is like walking a bridge
that is 1,000 miles long?

i wonder if I will ever get there.
I wonder if i will ever figure out
which way to get there
and,more importantly, how.

my friend Shar - another one of my inspirations -
just sent me an e-mail of an article
that was written about her 1st & 2nd grade students
and the project they did. it was featured in
the New York Daily News.

Just the fact that this girl
followed her heart and headed east
to pursue life in a different world
is already inspiring.

To know that she is continuing to do
her life's work
in one of the most underresourced communities
in the country - Harlem - just
makes me so incredibly hopeful,
hopeful that there are still people
out there who have been a part of "the movement"
who continue on.

Cause I know
so many of us get jaded,
so disconcerted by the many factors we cannot
control
which cocntinuously work against
everything we are fighting for.

I think that's where i am.
'kinda stuck in the muddle,
not knowing how to even
re-educate my own friends
about certain issues
that are perpetuated
by even the smallest things they say.
don't wanna be the "Debbie Downer" of the group, ya know.

Thank goodness I have people like Shar who
help keep me looking forward.