9:49a
inspired
I've really been enjoying going to work at the spa.
last night I didn't get out of there until 9:45p.
I had a client that came in at 8p.
At first, he decided not to book with me since he
preferred a man, but
he changed his mind.
I'm glad I took the challenge, too, cause
I learned a lot about my skills yet again.
If only I could afford to take more classes, though.
I sooo wish I could be doing that right now.
I'd love to take some more classes in pregnancy & labor
and get certified in shiatsu and advanced swedish massage.
anyhow, last night one of my bosses also asked me
if I would be down to work tonight after 11p.
A group of ladies are coming in to get massages as part of
their ladies night out.
At first, I didn't think I could muster enough energy to work past 10p, since
I work all day, too.
Then i thought about all the work our bosses have
done to invest in us and in promoting us.
Even though we make a smaller cut of the client's fees,
I think it's fair since our bosses take care of the advertising,
booking and equipment.
All I have to do is walk in and focus on my clients and their session.
Besides that, my bosses are genuinely caring and cool.
They are super swell folks that do care about us as individuals.
I'm very lucky to be working alongside them.
So after all of that thought process I decided that I'd work during the
11p sessions. It's the least I can do to help make money for the business.
It also goes to show that when you invest in someone in a genuine and
caring way, your generosity and attention will return to you 100-fold.
So consider me one of those 100 returning the favor to my bosses
and to the business.
A little sure does go a long way!
Anyhoo, if any of you in the area want to come visit me,
i'll be there starting at 5p.
I'll hopefully be getting my free haircut from one of my co-workers.
But afterwards, I'll just be hangin' out at the spa, waiting for clients.
Anyhoo, hope you all have a great Friday night and weekend!
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
3:56p
huh?
whenever I sit down to write, I'm often at a loss for words.
for the most part, there are a million things swirling around in my
head that I would love to write about,
but I can never pinpoint the most poignant/worthwhile topic.
but when I'm drivin' in my car to work or making my way back home,
I swear I do some of the deepest thinking about stuff.
I think I mentioned this in another entry, but
I really do wish sometimes that you could blog as you think things.
thank goodness for foam & lumbar support
right now, I'm liking this very cushiony desk chair I'm sitting in.
it's the best chair I've sat in all year.
I sure do miss my old Herman Miller chair at my last job.
We got a nice big "capacity building" grant which enabled us
to afford more ergonomic seats for all 10 of us.
*sigh*
My chair at work, unfortunately, sucks.
I've survived these last 3.5 weeks by sitting on top of 2 pillows to make me taller and
setting my feet on an upside down mail crate (since my feet are too short to reach the floor.)
Ah, anything to mimick an ergonomic position.
but trust me, it is far from it!
happy wednesdays
anyhoo, today on "day off" day, I did quite a bit.
started my day at 6:30am (I know, I can't believe it myself!) by
wakin' up and taking my car to the dealership for its 10K service.
um, it's only been 6 months and I can't believe I've already driven
that many miles.
Then, I spent the rest of the morning balancing my checkbook,
paying bills and fixing up my budget.
I actually just got back from the grocery store, too.
'gonna fix some yummy fried rice that Mrs. Y taught me last night.
the thing I really wanted to write about last night but fell asleep too early
so about Mrs. Y...
when i first saw her, she walked into the spa and made her way to the back.
I figured maybe she was someone our bosses had hired, but i wasn't sure
what her role was.
At first I thought she was there to help tidy up because I noticed our
staff lounge was clean when I came in after a session.
nevertheless, I would see her every once in a while, so I'd always say hello.
I thought to talk to her once, but I never really did.
I dunno why I didn't, but part of me now thinks it's because I didn't have
enough interest to care.
that's was pretty shallow of me, even if I respected her enough to say
hello and goodbye whenever she left.
She wasn't a person to me then, but when i found out she was
the mother of one of my bosses, my perspective completely changed.
suddenly she deserved all the attention in the world.
she was of greater significance now that I could associate her with
someone I knew.
I'm pretty ashamed of myself for that.
I guess I'm not everything a good person should be.
but I've definitely learned my lesson....
last night when she came into the spa, I still didn't know who she was,
but my boss and I both said "hello" to her.
Then my boss told me who she was and I was blown away.
She came over to bring dinner for both of my bosses - something
that was not asked of her but an obligation she takes on as a mother.
She even invited me to partake of the meal she made: yummy fried rice
with shitake mushrooms, green onions and chinese sausage.
It was probably the best I had ever eaten. And even though she offered me
another plate after I finished my first, I was too ashamed to take it.
She apparently loves taking in the oxygen at our Oxygen bar.
My boss says she's a junkie. ;)
So I sat next to her while she told me proudly about how
she made her wonderful recipe.
"Buy the dried chinese sausage", she said, "you can buy in Chinatown...
i steam it in the rice cooker ...and when it's done, I squeeze in papertowel until
all the oil come out..."
I listened intently to her instructions and pictured each step in my mind.
She then talked about the 4 rice cookers she broke because she pushed the
"on" button too soon after the rice was finished. we laughed about that one.
It turns out she worked nights (helping patients) when her kids were younger,
so for dinner, she would prepare meals in this contraption where you could
cook rice, steam vegetables and meat all on top of eachother in different compartments.
She said, "by the time my kids come home for dinner, the food already cooked even though
I'm not there".
After excusing myself so that I could pack up my things for the night,
I asked her if she would like a cup of tea.
It was the least I could offer
after everything she had shared with me...food included.
She said she would just join me later.
And although I couldn't join her yesterday, I definitely look forward to the next opportunity to do so.
Hmm...I owe that lady a lot. And to think that I almost missed out.
The biggest thing is, she's not just significant because she's my
boss' mom.
She's so much more, and will continue to be with or without me in the picture.
Thank goodness I've been given a second chance to get to know and learn from her.
huh?
whenever I sit down to write, I'm often at a loss for words.
for the most part, there are a million things swirling around in my
head that I would love to write about,
but I can never pinpoint the most poignant/worthwhile topic.
but when I'm drivin' in my car to work or making my way back home,
I swear I do some of the deepest thinking about stuff.
I think I mentioned this in another entry, but
I really do wish sometimes that you could blog as you think things.
thank goodness for foam & lumbar support
right now, I'm liking this very cushiony desk chair I'm sitting in.
it's the best chair I've sat in all year.
I sure do miss my old Herman Miller chair at my last job.
We got a nice big "capacity building" grant which enabled us
to afford more ergonomic seats for all 10 of us.
*sigh*
My chair at work, unfortunately, sucks.
I've survived these last 3.5 weeks by sitting on top of 2 pillows to make me taller and
setting my feet on an upside down mail crate (since my feet are too short to reach the floor.)
Ah, anything to mimick an ergonomic position.
but trust me, it is far from it!
happy wednesdays
anyhoo, today on "day off" day, I did quite a bit.
started my day at 6:30am (I know, I can't believe it myself!) by
wakin' up and taking my car to the dealership for its 10K service.
um, it's only been 6 months and I can't believe I've already driven
that many miles.
Then, I spent the rest of the morning balancing my checkbook,
paying bills and fixing up my budget.
I actually just got back from the grocery store, too.
'gonna fix some yummy fried rice that Mrs. Y taught me last night.
the thing I really wanted to write about last night but fell asleep too early
so about Mrs. Y...
when i first saw her, she walked into the spa and made her way to the back.
I figured maybe she was someone our bosses had hired, but i wasn't sure
what her role was.
At first I thought she was there to help tidy up because I noticed our
staff lounge was clean when I came in after a session.
nevertheless, I would see her every once in a while, so I'd always say hello.
I thought to talk to her once, but I never really did.
I dunno why I didn't, but part of me now thinks it's because I didn't have
enough interest to care.
that's was pretty shallow of me, even if I respected her enough to say
hello and goodbye whenever she left.
She wasn't a person to me then, but when i found out she was
the mother of one of my bosses, my perspective completely changed.
suddenly she deserved all the attention in the world.
she was of greater significance now that I could associate her with
someone I knew.
I'm pretty ashamed of myself for that.
I guess I'm not everything a good person should be.
but I've definitely learned my lesson....
last night when she came into the spa, I still didn't know who she was,
but my boss and I both said "hello" to her.
Then my boss told me who she was and I was blown away.
She came over to bring dinner for both of my bosses - something
that was not asked of her but an obligation she takes on as a mother.
She even invited me to partake of the meal she made: yummy fried rice
with shitake mushrooms, green onions and chinese sausage.
It was probably the best I had ever eaten. And even though she offered me
another plate after I finished my first, I was too ashamed to take it.
She apparently loves taking in the oxygen at our Oxygen bar.
My boss says she's a junkie. ;)
So I sat next to her while she told me proudly about how
she made her wonderful recipe.
"Buy the dried chinese sausage", she said, "you can buy in Chinatown...
i steam it in the rice cooker ...and when it's done, I squeeze in papertowel until
all the oil come out..."
I listened intently to her instructions and pictured each step in my mind.
She then talked about the 4 rice cookers she broke because she pushed the
"on" button too soon after the rice was finished. we laughed about that one.
It turns out she worked nights (helping patients) when her kids were younger,
so for dinner, she would prepare meals in this contraption where you could
cook rice, steam vegetables and meat all on top of eachother in different compartments.
She said, "by the time my kids come home for dinner, the food already cooked even though
I'm not there".
After excusing myself so that I could pack up my things for the night,
I asked her if she would like a cup of tea.
It was the least I could offer
after everything she had shared with me...food included.
She said she would just join me later.
And although I couldn't join her yesterday, I definitely look forward to the next opportunity to do so.
Hmm...I owe that lady a lot. And to think that I almost missed out.
The biggest thing is, she's not just significant because she's my
boss' mom.
She's so much more, and will continue to be with or without me in the picture.
Thank goodness I've been given a second chance to get to know and learn from her.
Monday, February 24, 2003
6:26p
spa loveliness
I am here again.
waiting for clients to come through the door.
I decided to start an hour and a half earlier
so that I could catch the folks that pass by after work.
no luck yet.
I did give a chair massage to one of my colleagues, though.
she's a stylist here at the spa.
poor girl had a pretty bad day on saturday here at the spa,so
I'm glad she enjoyed the massage.
she totally deserved it.
it gives me special satisfaction when I give massages to folks that
really need and deserve one.
cool thing is, I'll get a free haircut in return. yippeee!!!
tomorrow afternoon I was able to get booked for a session at 5:15p.
the funny thing is, I actually answered the phone for that person
who made the reservation.
In any case, I'm pretty excited about it.
There's definitely something special about this place that
makes me want to keep coming back.
For the most part, I think it's because there are other
people here to keep me company unlike at the last
spa I worked at.
Don't get me wrong. That place was a great place to work, too,
but I was often by myself or with one other person.
Here, the energy level is a bit higher.
I guess I generally feel more motivated in this type of environment.
saturday night
so, me and my bf had a great time at 111 Minna.
Cool place! I had never been there before, so it was a treat.
If you haven't been there, it's this art gallery that they turn into
a club on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights.
The art displayed on the wall was by this artist
who had an apparent fascination with cowboys and space.
Very ecclectic stuff!
I do enjoy seeing the creativity that comes from the deep
recesses of people's minds.
it's quite a trip for me.
Unfortunately, I could only last til 12p on the dance floor that night,
so we cut out early.
The music was danceable, but it didn't quite move me as it could have.
It was kinda loungey, almost hip hop beats.
I dunno, it just didn't totally do it for me.
So instead, we ended up eating at Ling Nam's in DC.
Man, 'haven't eaten there in quite some time.
Now i know why.
We originally headed for Sinugba, but I guess they're not
open til the wee hours of the morning anymore. sucks for us!
Anyhoo, it was a good night. A few of our friends just
recently hooked up, so there was definitely the vibe
of "new love" in the air.
It was just nice to see. definitely much better than relationship drama.
Ok well, better get going and start looking somewhat productive while
I wait for clients.
I'm crossing my fingers for at least one to walk through the door.
til later...
spa loveliness
I am here again.
waiting for clients to come through the door.
I decided to start an hour and a half earlier
so that I could catch the folks that pass by after work.
no luck yet.
I did give a chair massage to one of my colleagues, though.
she's a stylist here at the spa.
poor girl had a pretty bad day on saturday here at the spa,so
I'm glad she enjoyed the massage.
she totally deserved it.
it gives me special satisfaction when I give massages to folks that
really need and deserve one.
cool thing is, I'll get a free haircut in return. yippeee!!!
tomorrow afternoon I was able to get booked for a session at 5:15p.
the funny thing is, I actually answered the phone for that person
who made the reservation.
In any case, I'm pretty excited about it.
There's definitely something special about this place that
makes me want to keep coming back.
For the most part, I think it's because there are other
people here to keep me company unlike at the last
spa I worked at.
Don't get me wrong. That place was a great place to work, too,
but I was often by myself or with one other person.
Here, the energy level is a bit higher.
I guess I generally feel more motivated in this type of environment.
saturday night
so, me and my bf had a great time at 111 Minna.
Cool place! I had never been there before, so it was a treat.
If you haven't been there, it's this art gallery that they turn into
a club on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights.
The art displayed on the wall was by this artist
who had an apparent fascination with cowboys and space.
Very ecclectic stuff!
I do enjoy seeing the creativity that comes from the deep
recesses of people's minds.
it's quite a trip for me.
Unfortunately, I could only last til 12p on the dance floor that night,
so we cut out early.
The music was danceable, but it didn't quite move me as it could have.
It was kinda loungey, almost hip hop beats.
I dunno, it just didn't totally do it for me.
So instead, we ended up eating at Ling Nam's in DC.
Man, 'haven't eaten there in quite some time.
Now i know why.
We originally headed for Sinugba, but I guess they're not
open til the wee hours of the morning anymore. sucks for us!
Anyhoo, it was a good night. A few of our friends just
recently hooked up, so there was definitely the vibe
of "new love" in the air.
It was just nice to see. definitely much better than relationship drama.
Ok well, better get going and start looking somewhat productive while
I wait for clients.
I'm crossing my fingers for at least one to walk through the door.
til later...
Sunday, February 23, 2003
red
i was bored with the neon green graphic.
my eyes are liking the red version.
what's that movie with the talking plant?
I decided to actually partake in the caring of our garden.
ok, weed wacking is actually more like it, but whatever. same thing.
I hate weeds.
I hate gardening.
i was not born with a green thumb in this concrete jungle.
further, i didn't ask for a front yard with rose bushes
and a dirt area big enough to plant a fat flower bed.
I'm much more satisfied with the lovely rock garden that takes up 90% of our
front yard.
yeah for the flintstones!
While aesthetically pleasing and promotes the processing of carbon-
dioxide into the atmosphere, I really find
gardens and lawns and things of that sort to be a futile investment.
first of all, the amount of water needed to maintain such
a thing is obnoxiously abundant.
hello?! our water bill alone would triple.
second, I can only imagine the toll that pesticides (weed killers)
can have on the environment.
sure, it's only for one or two gardens within a small neighborhood,
but multiply that with the number of gardens and neighborhoods
in north america alone and that's a lot of pesticide... (not to mention
the pesticides used in growoing our food.)
hmm...it's probably not a healthy thing for our environment.
third, gardens and lawns are for the most part all about aesthetics.
they aren't very useful in any way, shape or form.
if I had the money, I'd simply just expand my house into the front yard.
I mean seriously! it's enough space to add another room, and god
knows that this house could use the extra space for entertaining!
hehehhee.
it's just nice to dream.
too bad I need to get back to the stupid weeds.
It's a freakin' jungle out there
AHHHHHh!!!!
i was bored with the neon green graphic.
my eyes are liking the red version.
what's that movie with the talking plant?
I decided to actually partake in the caring of our garden.
ok, weed wacking is actually more like it, but whatever. same thing.
I hate weeds.
I hate gardening.
i was not born with a green thumb in this concrete jungle.
further, i didn't ask for a front yard with rose bushes
and a dirt area big enough to plant a fat flower bed.
I'm much more satisfied with the lovely rock garden that takes up 90% of our
front yard.
yeah for the flintstones!
While aesthetically pleasing and promotes the processing of carbon-
dioxide into the atmosphere, I really find
gardens and lawns and things of that sort to be a futile investment.
first of all, the amount of water needed to maintain such
a thing is obnoxiously abundant.
hello?! our water bill alone would triple.
second, I can only imagine the toll that pesticides (weed killers)
can have on the environment.
sure, it's only for one or two gardens within a small neighborhood,
but multiply that with the number of gardens and neighborhoods
in north america alone and that's a lot of pesticide... (not to mention
the pesticides used in growoing our food.)
hmm...it's probably not a healthy thing for our environment.
third, gardens and lawns are for the most part all about aesthetics.
they aren't very useful in any way, shape or form.
if I had the money, I'd simply just expand my house into the front yard.
I mean seriously! it's enough space to add another room, and god
knows that this house could use the extra space for entertaining!
hehehhee.
it's just nice to dream.
too bad I need to get back to the stupid weeds.
It's a freakin' jungle out there
AHHHHHh!!!!
10:35a
it's all in my head
just came from my cousin's blog and boy did her last entry leave me inspired.
It made me realize, though, that I'm pretty hopeless
when it comes to budgeting.
I dunno what it is, but I always feel like I don't have enough time
or I don't have enough extra cash to be saving.
I wish I could change that.
Probably the biggest obstacle is my stupid
credit card debt.
If I saved the money that i spend on that monthly payment,
I would probably have a pretty substantial savings by now.
Problem is, i'm stuck.
I guess I should start buying lottery tickets every Wednesday and Saturday.
it's all in my head
just came from my cousin's blog and boy did her last entry leave me inspired.
It made me realize, though, that I'm pretty hopeless
when it comes to budgeting.
I dunno what it is, but I always feel like I don't have enough time
or I don't have enough extra cash to be saving.
I wish I could change that.
Probably the biggest obstacle is my stupid
credit card debt.
If I saved the money that i spend on that monthly payment,
I would probably have a pretty substantial savings by now.
Problem is, i'm stuck.
I guess I should start buying lottery tickets every Wednesday and Saturday.
Saturday, February 22, 2003
8:20p
waiting for the clock
I've already gotten ready for the party tonight.
'gonna hang out in the city at 111 Minna street for a friend's 30th b-day bash.
it'll be good to finally dance. my body and spirit have been aching
for it.
it's also nice to be able to use the party makeup I bought
with my gift certificate.
I'm not that good at the whole make-up thing, but
I think my daily applications for work has been good
practice.
The only part I hate about wearing makeup is taking it off...
especially after you come back from a party in the wee hours of
the morning when you are butt-tired and want nothing
but to plop into bed.
I decided to wear mascara tonight, so that'll be me tonight...half asleep,
washing out my eye lashes with water over the sink, and swearing to myself to NEVER
wear mascara again. it's almost like having a hangover and swearing to never drink again.
pointless.
NRG
'went to work at the spa today. this was this first time I had ever worked
on a Saturday and boy was it busy!
I LOVED it!
The energy was definitely up there.
I would love to continue working on Saturdays but that doesn't
leave a lot of time for me to spend with my bf.
We'll see how it goes...perhaps I will work 1 saturday a month or something.
another missed blog
'can't believe i missed a blog again yesterday.
I vegged for almost six hours from the time I arrived home at 5p.
dunno what came over me but I was tired and sleepy as hell!
the bf and I caught up on our Thursday night shows, though.
I love quality time with him.
anyhoo, I think it's time for us to go.
gotta go apply the finishing touch to my
amateurish make-up application - the lip liner and gloss.
thank goodness I don't do this everyday.
I think I'd have to slap myself.
waiting for the clock
I've already gotten ready for the party tonight.
'gonna hang out in the city at 111 Minna street for a friend's 30th b-day bash.
it'll be good to finally dance. my body and spirit have been aching
for it.
it's also nice to be able to use the party makeup I bought
with my gift certificate.
I'm not that good at the whole make-up thing, but
I think my daily applications for work has been good
practice.
The only part I hate about wearing makeup is taking it off...
especially after you come back from a party in the wee hours of
the morning when you are butt-tired and want nothing
but to plop into bed.
I decided to wear mascara tonight, so that'll be me tonight...half asleep,
washing out my eye lashes with water over the sink, and swearing to myself to NEVER
wear mascara again. it's almost like having a hangover and swearing to never drink again.
pointless.
NRG
'went to work at the spa today. this was this first time I had ever worked
on a Saturday and boy was it busy!
I LOVED it!
The energy was definitely up there.
I would love to continue working on Saturdays but that doesn't
leave a lot of time for me to spend with my bf.
We'll see how it goes...perhaps I will work 1 saturday a month or something.
another missed blog
'can't believe i missed a blog again yesterday.
I vegged for almost six hours from the time I arrived home at 5p.
dunno what came over me but I was tired and sleepy as hell!
the bf and I caught up on our Thursday night shows, though.
I love quality time with him.
anyhoo, I think it's time for us to go.
gotta go apply the finishing touch to my
amateurish make-up application - the lip liner and gloss.
thank goodness I don't do this everyday.
I think I'd have to slap myself.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
10:57p
it's these times when I know i've got a guardian angel
either our big boss somehow found my blog entry from yesterday and read it,
or there really is a god.
So finally today I saw a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel
First, we actually had a staff meeting and I got to meet a whole slew of folks.
Didn't really get a chance to connect with any of them except for one.
Also, we didn't really get a chance to check in about our individual projects and things,
so I didn't learn too much about the other job functions of the staff.
However, I finally got to check in with our big boss.
Although I waited almost 3 weeks for this formal check-in,
and have been kinda bothered about it not happening sooner,
it was, strangely enough, worth the wait.
If only it would have happened sooner, though, I would have had a
better understanding of her expectations of me and
her perspectives on running the organization.
The good news is that she was very very inspirational
and encouraging when I expressed to her my interest in getting my MSW.
She was so supportive! She pretty much offered me all the support in
the world for me to continue developing on a professional level.
I was convinced of her commitment to that because she spoke about
it so passionately. She truly believed it was her obligation to give
back and invest in people (especially people of color who are underrepresented in
leadership roles), because she had benefited from the same kind of support
when she pursued her MSW.
I literally felt like she was taking me under her wing.
...and to think that I thought I was applying to the DMV when I turned in my application for this position!
boy, what a huge blessing in disguise.
I can't stop laughing....
it's these times when I know i've got a guardian angel
either our big boss somehow found my blog entry from yesterday and read it,
or there really is a god.
So finally today I saw a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel
First, we actually had a staff meeting and I got to meet a whole slew of folks.
Didn't really get a chance to connect with any of them except for one.
Also, we didn't really get a chance to check in about our individual projects and things,
so I didn't learn too much about the other job functions of the staff.
However, I finally got to check in with our big boss.
Although I waited almost 3 weeks for this formal check-in,
and have been kinda bothered about it not happening sooner,
it was, strangely enough, worth the wait.
If only it would have happened sooner, though, I would have had a
better understanding of her expectations of me and
her perspectives on running the organization.
The good news is that she was very very inspirational
and encouraging when I expressed to her my interest in getting my MSW.
She was so supportive! She pretty much offered me all the support in
the world for me to continue developing on a professional level.
I was convinced of her commitment to that because she spoke about
it so passionately. She truly believed it was her obligation to give
back and invest in people (especially people of color who are underrepresented in
leadership roles), because she had benefited from the same kind of support
when she pursued her MSW.
I literally felt like she was taking me under her wing.
...and to think that I thought I was applying to the DMV when I turned in my application for this position!
boy, what a huge blessing in disguise.
I can't stop laughing....
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
12:24p
prelude
I think the caffeine is kicking in from the coffee pearl drink, because I'm feeling motivated.
if only it weren't so freakin' cold in this damn house, though!!!
I can't wait til winter is over.
the play
work is like a vortex that you inevitably get sucked into.
it didn't matter that I promised myself not to get into bad work habits
to ensure my sanity and good health.
i'm still back to the same bad habits as before.
For example, desk work is soooo straining on your body.
It is probably one of the worst things your body (aside from torture) should go through.
So, i promised myself that I would stretch at every break and lunch hour.
have I done so?
niet.
i also promised myself not to work overtime.
Work is work.
It will get done at some point, so I shouldn't worry too much
about being an over-achiever at the expense of my mental and
physical health.
What did I do on Monday and Tuesday?
i worked an hour of overtime each day.
Even so, these are things that i can definitely change by
Thursday (the next day that I come in for work). The only challenge
is to be consistent with it.
There are actually other, more complex, challenges that I've been
reflecting on ever since my first day at this job. We'll call it "Job A".
As a non-profit, Job A faces the same challenges as my previous
job at another non-profit.
The only major difference here is, the whole place feels so disjointed.
There are so many different ways that this place is like this.
First, we don't have regular staff meetings, so communication among the entire
organization is terrible, to say the least. For example, no one ever knows
when our big boss will be out, so it's always this guessing game
whenever anyone asks me where she is. And, when there is
news of special interest to the staff, there isn't a space that is made
available for such information to be shared. And for such a small staff,
this is ridiculous!
Second, our big boss is always out at our other location, so we rarely have
quality time to check in with her on anything. In fact, all of the assignments she's
given to me thus far have turned into nothing but chaos because I'm never
given ample notice. Also, when she leaves me assignments on my desk,
there's never enough information for me to complete the assignment. This happened
yesterday, in fact. She wrote something on a piece of paper, but the information
was incomplete. There was no way for me to decipher exactly what the assignment entailed.
Third, there is lack of clarity on who ultimately supervises one of our interns and
this has affected my work time. This played itself out yesterday when our big
boss gave our intern a last minute assignment. Unfortunately, Murphy's Law
(once again) took over and our intern was not able to complete the assignment.
As a result, I had to pick up the pieces since this assignment was due this morning.
However, our intern apparently needs a lot more supervision than what
everyone in this office seems to think. For one thing, her work needs to be
checked because she's not very detail-oriented. And yesterday when I was checking
her work for accuracy, there were a few errors that she made, which I, therefore, had to correct.
...which, therefore, takes up the time I should be spending on my own work.
Finally, there's the situation with my direct supervisor. She's not bad. In fact,
she's been nothing but open and supportive of me. However, she's a very guarded
person to some extent. In fact, she explained this to me yesterday during our check-in.
I appreciated her honesty and her willingness to share her reasons for being this way.
But...it still doesn't sit well with me. I kept thinking to myself, "how in the world am I
going to be able to connect with this person?".
I mean, seriously! I'm even afraid to ask her where she went for lunch!
Come to think of it, though, I guess I don't have any choice but to learn
how to deal with her guarded-ness. I mean, she's not a discourteous or mean person.
She still remains very professional, respectful and cordial towards me. i guess, on
a professional level, that's all I should expect of her.
But it honestly is something I have to adapt to.
For one thing, I'm not used to having a boss (or co-worker for that matter)
who works behind closed doors...ALL THE TIME.
And whenever they need me, they call me over the intercom when their office
is just 10 steps away from me...AND we are the only ones in the office.
*shakes head*
I dunno about you, but it's very impersonal to me.
Overall, the culture of this new work environment is very different for me.
I guess it's not your typical, run of the mill non-profit agency.
But it's very ironic to me how an agency, that is a vital and much-needed community resource,
is lacking in being the same kind of quality resource to its staff.
I'm not saying that it is a terrible place to work. Everyone is generally very friendly,
nice and respectful as individuals.
As a team, unfortunately, I see that we are not cohesive or well-informed of
eachother's projects, agency issues, and important news.
And then I think, "well, maybe this is the way things work around here because of our
special circumstances as a DV organization".
Well, if that is the case, then why don't I know about it? Is bad communication
playing itself out in this case, too?
I know all of these issues are something I need to bring
to my direct supervisor's attention. And I definitely will.
I also need to figure out some concrete solutions for these
problems.
interlude
Nevertheless, this has all been weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
Ok, maybe not a ton, but it's been there on my back...along with my stupid neck issues.
If I could only re-decorate the place IKEA style, I think THAT would be the
answer to ALL of my problems.
Trust me....
You should see the place. it is screaming for color and LIFE! My GAWD it's that bad!
Just yesterday, I decided to open all of the blinds in our office.
I mean ALL the blinds so that you could literally look into our office and see
everything.
I honestly don't think they've ever been opened cause I could've sworn
a cob web or two had rubbed off on my hand from the draw string.
But, oh my gawd..what a difference those open blinds made!!!!
It was literally a difference between night and day!
For once I didn't feel like I was working in Fred Flinstone's freakin' cave!
*sigh*
the play: part II
in retrospect, I guess it isn't all that bad at work.
i think writing my "interlude" helped lighten my perspective a bit.
it's just so funny, though, how a minute space on this planet could be
filled with such complexity and that I can get so drawn into it...
Like an inescapable vortex.
'wish I had some kind of reality-keeper that
would slap me in the face whenever I get too
serious and too focused on one thing.
Oh wait, that's what my bf is for.
Even though I hate it when he's right, he always pulls me back down to
earth whenever I fly too far out.
It's just so good to get this out, off of my chest.
No more ton of bricks on my back. I just got the crapped out neck to worry about.
Nevertheless, I guess there's still some hope in me left.
prelude
I think the caffeine is kicking in from the coffee pearl drink, because I'm feeling motivated.
if only it weren't so freakin' cold in this damn house, though!!!
I can't wait til winter is over.
the play
work is like a vortex that you inevitably get sucked into.
it didn't matter that I promised myself not to get into bad work habits
to ensure my sanity and good health.
i'm still back to the same bad habits as before.
For example, desk work is soooo straining on your body.
It is probably one of the worst things your body (aside from torture) should go through.
So, i promised myself that I would stretch at every break and lunch hour.
have I done so?
niet.
i also promised myself not to work overtime.
Work is work.
It will get done at some point, so I shouldn't worry too much
about being an over-achiever at the expense of my mental and
physical health.
What did I do on Monday and Tuesday?
i worked an hour of overtime each day.
Even so, these are things that i can definitely change by
Thursday (the next day that I come in for work). The only challenge
is to be consistent with it.
There are actually other, more complex, challenges that I've been
reflecting on ever since my first day at this job. We'll call it "Job A".
As a non-profit, Job A faces the same challenges as my previous
job at another non-profit.
The only major difference here is, the whole place feels so disjointed.
There are so many different ways that this place is like this.
First, we don't have regular staff meetings, so communication among the entire
organization is terrible, to say the least. For example, no one ever knows
when our big boss will be out, so it's always this guessing game
whenever anyone asks me where she is. And, when there is
news of special interest to the staff, there isn't a space that is made
available for such information to be shared. And for such a small staff,
this is ridiculous!
Second, our big boss is always out at our other location, so we rarely have
quality time to check in with her on anything. In fact, all of the assignments she's
given to me thus far have turned into nothing but chaos because I'm never
given ample notice. Also, when she leaves me assignments on my desk,
there's never enough information for me to complete the assignment. This happened
yesterday, in fact. She wrote something on a piece of paper, but the information
was incomplete. There was no way for me to decipher exactly what the assignment entailed.
Third, there is lack of clarity on who ultimately supervises one of our interns and
this has affected my work time. This played itself out yesterday when our big
boss gave our intern a last minute assignment. Unfortunately, Murphy's Law
(once again) took over and our intern was not able to complete the assignment.
As a result, I had to pick up the pieces since this assignment was due this morning.
However, our intern apparently needs a lot more supervision than what
everyone in this office seems to think. For one thing, her work needs to be
checked because she's not very detail-oriented. And yesterday when I was checking
her work for accuracy, there were a few errors that she made, which I, therefore, had to correct.
...which, therefore, takes up the time I should be spending on my own work.
Finally, there's the situation with my direct supervisor. She's not bad. In fact,
she's been nothing but open and supportive of me. However, she's a very guarded
person to some extent. In fact, she explained this to me yesterday during our check-in.
I appreciated her honesty and her willingness to share her reasons for being this way.
But...it still doesn't sit well with me. I kept thinking to myself, "how in the world am I
going to be able to connect with this person?".
I mean, seriously! I'm even afraid to ask her where she went for lunch!
Come to think of it, though, I guess I don't have any choice but to learn
how to deal with her guarded-ness. I mean, she's not a discourteous or mean person.
She still remains very professional, respectful and cordial towards me. i guess, on
a professional level, that's all I should expect of her.
But it honestly is something I have to adapt to.
For one thing, I'm not used to having a boss (or co-worker for that matter)
who works behind closed doors...ALL THE TIME.
And whenever they need me, they call me over the intercom when their office
is just 10 steps away from me...AND we are the only ones in the office.
*shakes head*
I dunno about you, but it's very impersonal to me.
Overall, the culture of this new work environment is very different for me.
I guess it's not your typical, run of the mill non-profit agency.
But it's very ironic to me how an agency, that is a vital and much-needed community resource,
is lacking in being the same kind of quality resource to its staff.
I'm not saying that it is a terrible place to work. Everyone is generally very friendly,
nice and respectful as individuals.
As a team, unfortunately, I see that we are not cohesive or well-informed of
eachother's projects, agency issues, and important news.
And then I think, "well, maybe this is the way things work around here because of our
special circumstances as a DV organization".
Well, if that is the case, then why don't I know about it? Is bad communication
playing itself out in this case, too?
I know all of these issues are something I need to bring
to my direct supervisor's attention. And I definitely will.
I also need to figure out some concrete solutions for these
problems.
interlude
Nevertheless, this has all been weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
Ok, maybe not a ton, but it's been there on my back...along with my stupid neck issues.
If I could only re-decorate the place IKEA style, I think THAT would be the
answer to ALL of my problems.
Trust me....
You should see the place. it is screaming for color and LIFE! My GAWD it's that bad!
Just yesterday, I decided to open all of the blinds in our office.
I mean ALL the blinds so that you could literally look into our office and see
everything.
I honestly don't think they've ever been opened cause I could've sworn
a cob web or two had rubbed off on my hand from the draw string.
But, oh my gawd..what a difference those open blinds made!!!!
It was literally a difference between night and day!
For once I didn't feel like I was working in Fred Flinstone's freakin' cave!
*sigh*
the play: part II
in retrospect, I guess it isn't all that bad at work.
i think writing my "interlude" helped lighten my perspective a bit.
it's just so funny, though, how a minute space on this planet could be
filled with such complexity and that I can get so drawn into it...
Like an inescapable vortex.
'wish I had some kind of reality-keeper that
would slap me in the face whenever I get too
serious and too focused on one thing.
Oh wait, that's what my bf is for.
Even though I hate it when he's right, he always pulls me back down to
earth whenever I fly too far out.
It's just so good to get this out, off of my chest.
No more ton of bricks on my back. I just got the crapped out neck to worry about.
Nevertheless, I guess there's still some hope in me left.
10:03a
back down from the rafters
I didn't blog yesterday cause I was feeling kinda crappy.
and that's pretty ironic considering that i got another massage last night.
I guess I just had way too many toxins released in my system.
I'm not surprised being that I haven't worked out in a while and
I've been literally feeding off of junk food and too many carbs!
I just curled up in bed after I ate dinner and read my book.
After 4 pages of reading, I simply conked out.
On my drive home in my relaxed but kinda depressed mood,
i had several revelations.
a) I've been spending too much money again
b) I'm getting too dependent on food...again
c) I'm not taking care of my health...again
d) I'm losing focus on my goals and aspiration
e) ...and I need to snap out of this funky rut i'm in!!!!
So here i am, back to earth...deconstructing, reconstructing and so forth...again.
my Honda house
so today, I am not...I repeat..NOT going to drive anywhere.
...except maybe the grocery store.
I just realized that i spend at least 12 hours in my car
driving during the 4 days that I go to work.
Although that may seem average, I still don't feel like drivng anywhere today!
amazement
I opened an e-mail this morning from my brother, who sent me his cover letter
and resume for this fictitious job he's "applying for". it's all part of this
pilot project in his department to see how well prepared their engineering students
are in the job-hunting process.
My brother said his cover letter and resume were all done last minute
since he had to tend to a whole load of other work.
Shoot, the boy is taking 18 units in his last semester of college!
Yup. he's crazy.
I was happy to find, though, that he did quite well on his cover letter and resume.
And as I was reading, it hit me what an exceptional student and individual my brother is.
WOW...he's a double major in Mechanical Engineering and Aeronautics with a minor in Math..and a 3.4 GPA!
AND in his first year of college, he mentored a high school youth in their Pilipino organization's Kuya/Ate Program.
he's done various other projects and things that have required his ingenuity and skills.
[add to that the very down-to-earth personality he has AND (most especially) how he is
the most loyal, loving and giving friend you could ever have]
it was just wierd because even though my brother talks about all of his projects and school work
and the minimal extracurricular activities he does, he's just my brother, you know.
I mean, I know he's pretty amazing but he's just talking about everyday stuff to him.
He's not being arrogant or conceited or anything. He's just sharing his life with me
like in any old conversation.
but on paper...wow.
It just brings everything into perspective: my brother is amazing beyond belief
and I'm soooooo proud of him!
back down from the rafters
I didn't blog yesterday cause I was feeling kinda crappy.
and that's pretty ironic considering that i got another massage last night.
I guess I just had way too many toxins released in my system.
I'm not surprised being that I haven't worked out in a while and
I've been literally feeding off of junk food and too many carbs!
I just curled up in bed after I ate dinner and read my book.
After 4 pages of reading, I simply conked out.
On my drive home in my relaxed but kinda depressed mood,
i had several revelations.
a) I've been spending too much money again
b) I'm getting too dependent on food...again
c) I'm not taking care of my health...again
d) I'm losing focus on my goals and aspiration
e) ...and I need to snap out of this funky rut i'm in!!!!
So here i am, back to earth...deconstructing, reconstructing and so forth...again.
my Honda house
so today, I am not...I repeat..NOT going to drive anywhere.
...except maybe the grocery store.
I just realized that i spend at least 12 hours in my car
driving during the 4 days that I go to work.
Although that may seem average, I still don't feel like drivng anywhere today!
amazement
I opened an e-mail this morning from my brother, who sent me his cover letter
and resume for this fictitious job he's "applying for". it's all part of this
pilot project in his department to see how well prepared their engineering students
are in the job-hunting process.
My brother said his cover letter and resume were all done last minute
since he had to tend to a whole load of other work.
Shoot, the boy is taking 18 units in his last semester of college!
Yup. he's crazy.
I was happy to find, though, that he did quite well on his cover letter and resume.
And as I was reading, it hit me what an exceptional student and individual my brother is.
WOW...he's a double major in Mechanical Engineering and Aeronautics with a minor in Math..and a 3.4 GPA!
AND in his first year of college, he mentored a high school youth in their Pilipino organization's Kuya/Ate Program.
he's done various other projects and things that have required his ingenuity and skills.
[add to that the very down-to-earth personality he has AND (most especially) how he is
the most loyal, loving and giving friend you could ever have]
it was just wierd because even though my brother talks about all of his projects and school work
and the minimal extracurricular activities he does, he's just my brother, you know.
I mean, I know he's pretty amazing but he's just talking about everyday stuff to him.
He's not being arrogant or conceited or anything. He's just sharing his life with me
like in any old conversation.
but on paper...wow.
It just brings everything into perspective: my brother is amazing beyond belief
and I'm soooooo proud of him!
Monday, February 17, 2003
7:15p
not a holiday for me
'showed up at work this morning at 7:45.
was all by myself in that lonely office.
my bf visited me later in the afternoon since he didn't have work today.
Unfortunately, he visited a few minutes before I was leaving for the day.
quality time weekend
went to another photo exhibit this weekend.
my bf invited me to go along with his photography classmates.
it was quite interesting as they are almost 20 years older than us.
Before I got to the exhibit, I was a little nervous to meet all of them.
but when I saw them all and shook their hands, they instantly put me at
ease. The age difference really didn't matter.
In fact, we had a really nice conversation during lunch at spag. fac.
in Jack London Square.
I found it pretty amazing how we didn't let our age differences
or experiences get in the way of our common interest in photography.
I'm excited to see them again at the exhibit of their photographs at
their photography school.
It's just good vibes all around.
later that night, I went out to dinner with my family (mom, dad, brother).
my brother was originally not gonna be able to make it because of
his hectic school work load. thank goodness he came.
Once again, the vibe was good.
it seemed everyone was open to what everyone had to share.
Even I could muster enough patience to hear my
mom talk about religion..and that's not always an easy thing since we have
very opposing views.
i actually even felt that my mom was really listening to me
when I talked about how my job situation is going.
communication...at least the "listening" part of it...is always kind of a challenge within my family.
Afterwards, we headed back to my house and my bf was working on
his pictures.
I invited my parents to take a look at some of his shots.
they were really amazed at his work.
they truly enjoyed looking at it and appreciated his talent.
it made me feel so proud of my baby.
In fact, my mom wanted a copy of one of his prints.
good vibes once again.
The next morning, we had brunch with a few friends to celebrate
on of our friend's 30th b-day.
It was such a good time!
Oh, and the food was ALL GOOD! ALL OF iT!
There wasn't one dish that was mundane or ordinary.
Everything was so flavorful and delicious.
The atmosphere was also fun and inviting.
It's a small, quaint place...
the 2 chefs are totally down-to-earth and say hello
to the customers.
The wait staff are super friendly.
and there's even live jazz music played by 2 musicians and
1 singer.
check it out...it's called Alcatraces located on 24th Street in the city (between Noe and Castro streets)
You won't be disappointed.
stirring in my soul
for some reason or other, I had a lot of things to think about
and talk about with my bf this weekend.
and the wierd thing is, we actually had the time
to talk.
primarily on my mind this weekend was the situation with Iraq.
As much as I am against attacking, I dont' have a lot of information about
the specifics of why the government wants to attack.
Furthermore, I am curious about the opinions of those individuals who are
pro-war.
I actually read this flyer for a pro-war rally that happened on Sunday
which happened in protest to the anti-war rally that took place on Saturday.
The flyer said something about how disgraceful it is for anti-war folks to be
against our military..the men and women who risk their lives for our freedom.
This made me think....
first of all, I am not against them per say. I am against the decision making process
of our government.
To some extent, military folks follow orders because that's what they are trained to do.
That's not to say that they can't walk out on the military if their actions go against their personal
values. They do have a choice, so at some level, they are a part of the problem.
But like any controversial decision, this isn't as easy as it may seem, so
it would be inappropriate for me to place all blame on them.
More than anything, I was hungry to find out more about how the opposition feels.
...to find out Why the hell they really want this attack.
...and what does this "attack" really mean? Are we attacking civilians in Iraq or hitting up their military?
I decided to go on-line on Saturday night. I read up on a few sites that were pro-war.
I really wanted to read the article in Esquire magazine that Nico suggested, but they did not
have a link to it. Nevertheless, the description of the article peaked my interest even more. It read:
"174 The Pentagon's New Map
The author, a top Pentagon strategist, lays out a new theory of the world--and the aggressive departure in U. S. war-fighting strategy that goes with it. His map, illustrating a redefinition of the international order, is gaining influence in Washington and explains not only why we're going to war in Iraq but also where we'll be fighting next.
[ By Thomas P. M. Barnett ]
"
It's all very interesting to me.
And in light of the things i've been reading about in The Food Revolution,
it's pretty scary how the same concepts of world destruction
from our own actions continues to play itself out with this Iraq conflict.
Oh, and I'm actually a few pages shy of finishing this book.
It definitely gives me a bleak outlook on our survival as a human race
on this planet.
And more and more, I see how capitalism is the leading cause of our
self-destruction...and how blind we all are to it because of the
convenient, fast-paced, "technologically" advanced life we live.
And i am not an exception to that ignorance either, so I'm not claiming to be
better than thou.
"Living life to the fullest" has an even deeper meaning for me now.
For the most part, it doesn't only mean to enjoy one's self at any expense.
But rather, it means to do so with respect for people, for animals, and for the earth.
For even if we pretty much dominate this planet, we are still...at least culturally speaking,
the least evolved of all the species.
Because if we have truly evolved, then we wouldn't be at this point of a potential WWIII.
For the most part, we wouldn't allow corporations/money to dictate the quality of our life.
So maybe in some strange way, the meaning of life is to evolve into a human race that truly
embraces and puts into action cultural values that respect everything on earth.
not a holiday for me
'showed up at work this morning at 7:45.
was all by myself in that lonely office.
my bf visited me later in the afternoon since he didn't have work today.
Unfortunately, he visited a few minutes before I was leaving for the day.
quality time weekend
went to another photo exhibit this weekend.
my bf invited me to go along with his photography classmates.
it was quite interesting as they are almost 20 years older than us.
Before I got to the exhibit, I was a little nervous to meet all of them.
but when I saw them all and shook their hands, they instantly put me at
ease. The age difference really didn't matter.
In fact, we had a really nice conversation during lunch at spag. fac.
in Jack London Square.
I found it pretty amazing how we didn't let our age differences
or experiences get in the way of our common interest in photography.
I'm excited to see them again at the exhibit of their photographs at
their photography school.
It's just good vibes all around.
later that night, I went out to dinner with my family (mom, dad, brother).
my brother was originally not gonna be able to make it because of
his hectic school work load. thank goodness he came.
Once again, the vibe was good.
it seemed everyone was open to what everyone had to share.
Even I could muster enough patience to hear my
mom talk about religion..and that's not always an easy thing since we have
very opposing views.
i actually even felt that my mom was really listening to me
when I talked about how my job situation is going.
communication...at least the "listening" part of it...is always kind of a challenge within my family.
Afterwards, we headed back to my house and my bf was working on
his pictures.
I invited my parents to take a look at some of his shots.
they were really amazed at his work.
they truly enjoyed looking at it and appreciated his talent.
it made me feel so proud of my baby.
In fact, my mom wanted a copy of one of his prints.
good vibes once again.
The next morning, we had brunch with a few friends to celebrate
on of our friend's 30th b-day.
It was such a good time!
Oh, and the food was ALL GOOD! ALL OF iT!
There wasn't one dish that was mundane or ordinary.
Everything was so flavorful and delicious.
The atmosphere was also fun and inviting.
It's a small, quaint place...
the 2 chefs are totally down-to-earth and say hello
to the customers.
The wait staff are super friendly.
and there's even live jazz music played by 2 musicians and
1 singer.
check it out...it's called Alcatraces located on 24th Street in the city (between Noe and Castro streets)
You won't be disappointed.
stirring in my soul
for some reason or other, I had a lot of things to think about
and talk about with my bf this weekend.
and the wierd thing is, we actually had the time
to talk.
primarily on my mind this weekend was the situation with Iraq.
As much as I am against attacking, I dont' have a lot of information about
the specifics of why the government wants to attack.
Furthermore, I am curious about the opinions of those individuals who are
pro-war.
I actually read this flyer for a pro-war rally that happened on Sunday
which happened in protest to the anti-war rally that took place on Saturday.
The flyer said something about how disgraceful it is for anti-war folks to be
against our military..the men and women who risk their lives for our freedom.
This made me think....
first of all, I am not against them per say. I am against the decision making process
of our government.
To some extent, military folks follow orders because that's what they are trained to do.
That's not to say that they can't walk out on the military if their actions go against their personal
values. They do have a choice, so at some level, they are a part of the problem.
But like any controversial decision, this isn't as easy as it may seem, so
it would be inappropriate for me to place all blame on them.
More than anything, I was hungry to find out more about how the opposition feels.
...to find out Why the hell they really want this attack.
...and what does this "attack" really mean? Are we attacking civilians in Iraq or hitting up their military?
I decided to go on-line on Saturday night. I read up on a few sites that were pro-war.
I really wanted to read the article in Esquire magazine that Nico suggested, but they did not
have a link to it. Nevertheless, the description of the article peaked my interest even more. It read:
"174 The Pentagon's New Map
The author, a top Pentagon strategist, lays out a new theory of the world--and the aggressive departure in U. S. war-fighting strategy that goes with it. His map, illustrating a redefinition of the international order, is gaining influence in Washington and explains not only why we're going to war in Iraq but also where we'll be fighting next.
[ By Thomas P. M. Barnett ]
"
It's all very interesting to me.
And in light of the things i've been reading about in The Food Revolution,
it's pretty scary how the same concepts of world destruction
from our own actions continues to play itself out with this Iraq conflict.
Oh, and I'm actually a few pages shy of finishing this book.
It definitely gives me a bleak outlook on our survival as a human race
on this planet.
And more and more, I see how capitalism is the leading cause of our
self-destruction...and how blind we all are to it because of the
convenient, fast-paced, "technologically" advanced life we live.
And i am not an exception to that ignorance either, so I'm not claiming to be
better than thou.
"Living life to the fullest" has an even deeper meaning for me now.
For the most part, it doesn't only mean to enjoy one's self at any expense.
But rather, it means to do so with respect for people, for animals, and for the earth.
For even if we pretty much dominate this planet, we are still...at least culturally speaking,
the least evolved of all the species.
Because if we have truly evolved, then we wouldn't be at this point of a potential WWIII.
For the most part, we wouldn't allow corporations/money to dictate the quality of our life.
So maybe in some strange way, the meaning of life is to evolve into a human race that truly
embraces and puts into action cultural values that respect everything on earth.
Saturday, February 15, 2003
8:14am
just when i thought my day couldn't get any worse
it actually didn't! hehehe
first off, I had the best workout.
I did 45 minnutes-worth of cardio on the EFX machine and loved it!
it was so incredibly therapeutic.
I at one point I had to close my eyes because it felt so
good to get my circulation going.
I imagined myself jogging through different places, countries,
terrains.
And I realized that this is something I would like to do - jog/hike/walk
through the country side of different nations.
I imagined myself near the Alps at one point.
It was summer, the Alps were in the background,
and I was jogging to the left of a beautiful lake.
The scenery was simply heavenly. It took my breath away.
Then, I imagined myself running through the italian country side,
on a dirt road in between an endless field of tall grass.
hehe...boy, I guess it's been a while since I've had that much
oxygen flow into my brain!
I also did about 30 minutes worth of stretching.
I couldn't remember all of the yoga positions I learned on Wednesday,
but there were a couple that I did.
I love stretching! It's my favorite part of exercise! hehehe...
I felt really refreshed afterwards.
Of course my lower back and and hip muscles were a little sore
because my body hasn't done 45 min of cardio in a long time,
but it was a good kind of sore.
I called my parents while i drove home.
'had a nice (and silly) chat with my dad.
as usual he was his crazy, silly self.
hehehe...my wierdness truly comes from him!
While still on the phone with my dad,
I arrived home,
opened the garage
and my baby was there to greet me at the door.
He opened the door wide so I could walk through and see...
A dozen red roses in a vase for me! awwwwww!
(and he even trimmed off all the leaves from the stems so that the
water wouldn't rot as quickly...they say you're supposed to do
this when you put flowers in water)
I was so touched. my baby is a thoughtful one, but he rarely
ever gets me flowers. not that I care.
but this was just too sweet.
He even bought a couple of pints of Ben Jerry's ice cream
for our dessert. And the best part....
He washed all the dirty dishes and put away the clean ones from the dishwasher!!!!
*sigh*
isn't he just dreamy?
hehehe!
After I freshened up, we sat on the couch to eat our dinner
while we watched our taped shows from Thursday (as usual).
This time around, he even stayed awake to watch E.R.!
Boy, was this a special night or what?!
at last!
because of my better circulation from my workout last night,
I got up with no problem this morning.
It was pretty early for a Saturday...try 7am!
I'm actually glad I woke up that early
because I was able to book a same day appointment with a doctor to
check out my neck and shoulder situation.
my appointment is at 9:30a...that's in an hour.
I'm not really looking for some "band aid" relief, which most doctors prescribe.
My goal is to get a thorough assessment, so that
I can find out the true source of my tension in those areas.
I just want to make sure that it is muscular and not a nerve or spine related source.
the good news is, my neck/shoulder is relatively not as stiff
when I wake up in the morning as before.
I think the cardio workout and stretching last night must have helped some.
In any case, i just want more answers.
Plans
hopefully, if i get out of my appointment soon enough, I'm gonna go with my bf
to another photography exhibit.
then, if we can muster it, we're gonna try to figure out how to install a new
bathroom faucet...a project we've been lagging on for almost 6 months now!
and tonight, my parents are coming over to check out the
newly-installed windows and to hang out.
we're gonna have dinner together.
My mom says she's treating.
good for me!
just when i thought my day couldn't get any worse
it actually didn't! hehehe
first off, I had the best workout.
I did 45 minnutes-worth of cardio on the EFX machine and loved it!
it was so incredibly therapeutic.
I at one point I had to close my eyes because it felt so
good to get my circulation going.
I imagined myself jogging through different places, countries,
terrains.
And I realized that this is something I would like to do - jog/hike/walk
through the country side of different nations.
I imagined myself near the Alps at one point.
It was summer, the Alps were in the background,
and I was jogging to the left of a beautiful lake.
The scenery was simply heavenly. It took my breath away.
Then, I imagined myself running through the italian country side,
on a dirt road in between an endless field of tall grass.
hehe...boy, I guess it's been a while since I've had that much
oxygen flow into my brain!
I also did about 30 minutes worth of stretching.
I couldn't remember all of the yoga positions I learned on Wednesday,
but there were a couple that I did.
I love stretching! It's my favorite part of exercise! hehehe...
I felt really refreshed afterwards.
Of course my lower back and and hip muscles were a little sore
because my body hasn't done 45 min of cardio in a long time,
but it was a good kind of sore.
I called my parents while i drove home.
'had a nice (and silly) chat with my dad.
as usual he was his crazy, silly self.
hehehe...my wierdness truly comes from him!
While still on the phone with my dad,
I arrived home,
opened the garage
and my baby was there to greet me at the door.
He opened the door wide so I could walk through and see...
A dozen red roses in a vase for me! awwwwww!
(and he even trimmed off all the leaves from the stems so that the
water wouldn't rot as quickly...they say you're supposed to do
this when you put flowers in water)
I was so touched. my baby is a thoughtful one, but he rarely
ever gets me flowers. not that I care.
but this was just too sweet.
He even bought a couple of pints of Ben Jerry's ice cream
for our dessert. And the best part....
He washed all the dirty dishes and put away the clean ones from the dishwasher!!!!
*sigh*
isn't he just dreamy?
hehehe!
After I freshened up, we sat on the couch to eat our dinner
while we watched our taped shows from Thursday (as usual).
This time around, he even stayed awake to watch E.R.!
Boy, was this a special night or what?!
at last!
because of my better circulation from my workout last night,
I got up with no problem this morning.
It was pretty early for a Saturday...try 7am!
I'm actually glad I woke up that early
because I was able to book a same day appointment with a doctor to
check out my neck and shoulder situation.
my appointment is at 9:30a...that's in an hour.
I'm not really looking for some "band aid" relief, which most doctors prescribe.
My goal is to get a thorough assessment, so that
I can find out the true source of my tension in those areas.
I just want to make sure that it is muscular and not a nerve or spine related source.
the good news is, my neck/shoulder is relatively not as stiff
when I wake up in the morning as before.
I think the cardio workout and stretching last night must have helped some.
In any case, i just want more answers.
Plans
hopefully, if i get out of my appointment soon enough, I'm gonna go with my bf
to another photography exhibit.
then, if we can muster it, we're gonna try to figure out how to install a new
bathroom faucet...a project we've been lagging on for almost 6 months now!
and tonight, my parents are coming over to check out the
newly-installed windows and to hang out.
we're gonna have dinner together.
My mom says she's treating.
good for me!
Friday, February 14, 2003
okay, one more time....
and exhaaaale (phewwwwww)
so my last four hours of work was shear hell.
anything and everything went wrong as i was rushing to
complete something before I left.
I had a doctor's appointment to get to by 4p, which i missed because
of the chaos. dammit!
learned a lot from this experience though.
mainly that I need to pay more attention to detail,
communicate better with my colleagues
and not trust the higher ups just because they are the higher ups.
I need to evaluate situations more critically rather than putting all my
faith on folks just because they are in a more superior role than mine.
the good thing is, i'm noticing how more acutely aware I am of myself and my body.
it's a good thing, cause I caught myself "sweating the small stuff"
and tried to change my perspective right away.
I don't think my senses were as keen at my old job.
my senses were so flooded with stress and work-related things
that didn't amount to losing sleep.
and i let that all affect me physically and emotionally.
I'm glad it's different this time around.
Besides, I should know better by now.
I have noticed, though that it takes me a while to completely
shake off the work stresses of the day, especially when
my in-box is still full at the end of the day.
thank goodness I've been more aware of this.
At least it only takes an hour before I come back to my senses.
in fact, I've almost forgotten what the hell I was worrying about
an hour ago.
Planning on releasing even more of my physical stress at the gym.
The adrenaline rush will do me some good.
Gonna head over there right now.
and exhaaaale (phewwwwww)
so my last four hours of work was shear hell.
anything and everything went wrong as i was rushing to
complete something before I left.
I had a doctor's appointment to get to by 4p, which i missed because
of the chaos. dammit!
learned a lot from this experience though.
mainly that I need to pay more attention to detail,
communicate better with my colleagues
and not trust the higher ups just because they are the higher ups.
I need to evaluate situations more critically rather than putting all my
faith on folks just because they are in a more superior role than mine.
the good thing is, i'm noticing how more acutely aware I am of myself and my body.
it's a good thing, cause I caught myself "sweating the small stuff"
and tried to change my perspective right away.
I don't think my senses were as keen at my old job.
my senses were so flooded with stress and work-related things
that didn't amount to losing sleep.
and i let that all affect me physically and emotionally.
I'm glad it's different this time around.
Besides, I should know better by now.
I have noticed, though that it takes me a while to completely
shake off the work stresses of the day, especially when
my in-box is still full at the end of the day.
thank goodness I've been more aware of this.
At least it only takes an hour before I come back to my senses.
in fact, I've almost forgotten what the hell I was worrying about
an hour ago.
Planning on releasing even more of my physical stress at the gym.
The adrenaline rush will do me some good.
Gonna head over there right now.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
10:40p
relax yer back.
I forgot to mention in yesterday's blog that I tried my
first PiYo (combination of Pilates and Yoga) class at the gym.
It was probably not as grueling as Bikram yoga, but man,
it felt good.
it really makes you focus on your breath, which
allows you to clear your mind and develop a better sense
of your body.
my favorite part of the class was at the end.
We layed down on our backs and closed our eyes for almost
an enternity.
and after that, we got into the fetal position for a couple of minutes as well.
you really walk out of there feeling relaxed and centered.
...but then your sense of calm gets all fucked up when the folks waiting for
the next class (step class) come storming through the classroom to set up their
steps. go figure.
fitting into new skin
today was mad crazy at work.
I had so many things on my plate to complete.
at first, it was a little overwhelming, but since my body and mind
have done this kind of work before(at this kind of speed of light pace),
I slowly adapted. I actually enjoyed it, surprisingly enough.
'had a nice long chat with my co-worker.
she was the one who had my job previously.
now she's a grant writer for the organization.
got some more insight on the place.
from our conversation, i deduced that I pretty much have to
be proactive in this environment if I ever want anything to change.
I think this will be a good challenge for me, especially if I want
to continue investing myself in social change.
it's hard work.
'takes lots and lots of patience and...
lots of creativity and ingenuity.
that's what happens when you are underresourced.
...so I'm open to the challenge.
another thing is, i think this job will be a good lesson in
learning how to work with people in their varying
developmental stages.
there are definitely some folks in the office that
are completely unaware of how their mannerisms
can negatively affect people around them.
it's not as if they have bad intentions.
it's just that they lack a lot of self awareness and sensitivity to certain things.
all of this also reflects itself in the culture of our work environment.
relatively speaking, this new workplace is wayyy more corporate-like than
where I used to work.
there are only 8 of us that work in our office, yet
we are not only physically seperated by closed doors to private offices and walls of cubicles,
we are disconnected by our lack of communication.
I'm telling you this place only has staff meetings once a month...if they even have it.
it's really very odd to me, because while all my co-workers are generally very friendly
and good people, we are so incohesive.
it is so easy to lose site of what you are working towards because of this.
but i do think there is some hope.
I've pretty much come to the conclusion that
if I want to change things,
not only do I need to be proactive,
i also have to emulate the kind of person I would like to work with.
let's hope I can meet that challenge.
it would really be great to actually function as the well-respected organization that
this community holds in such high regard.
integrity is everything.
relax yer back.
I forgot to mention in yesterday's blog that I tried my
first PiYo (combination of Pilates and Yoga) class at the gym.
It was probably not as grueling as Bikram yoga, but man,
it felt good.
it really makes you focus on your breath, which
allows you to clear your mind and develop a better sense
of your body.
my favorite part of the class was at the end.
We layed down on our backs and closed our eyes for almost
an enternity.
and after that, we got into the fetal position for a couple of minutes as well.
you really walk out of there feeling relaxed and centered.
...but then your sense of calm gets all fucked up when the folks waiting for
the next class (step class) come storming through the classroom to set up their
steps. go figure.
fitting into new skin
today was mad crazy at work.
I had so many things on my plate to complete.
at first, it was a little overwhelming, but since my body and mind
have done this kind of work before(at this kind of speed of light pace),
I slowly adapted. I actually enjoyed it, surprisingly enough.
'had a nice long chat with my co-worker.
she was the one who had my job previously.
now she's a grant writer for the organization.
got some more insight on the place.
from our conversation, i deduced that I pretty much have to
be proactive in this environment if I ever want anything to change.
I think this will be a good challenge for me, especially if I want
to continue investing myself in social change.
it's hard work.
'takes lots and lots of patience and...
lots of creativity and ingenuity.
that's what happens when you are underresourced.
...so I'm open to the challenge.
another thing is, i think this job will be a good lesson in
learning how to work with people in their varying
developmental stages.
there are definitely some folks in the office that
are completely unaware of how their mannerisms
can negatively affect people around them.
it's not as if they have bad intentions.
it's just that they lack a lot of self awareness and sensitivity to certain things.
all of this also reflects itself in the culture of our work environment.
relatively speaking, this new workplace is wayyy more corporate-like than
where I used to work.
there are only 8 of us that work in our office, yet
we are not only physically seperated by closed doors to private offices and walls of cubicles,
we are disconnected by our lack of communication.
I'm telling you this place only has staff meetings once a month...if they even have it.
it's really very odd to me, because while all my co-workers are generally very friendly
and good people, we are so incohesive.
it is so easy to lose site of what you are working towards because of this.
but i do think there is some hope.
I've pretty much come to the conclusion that
if I want to change things,
not only do I need to be proactive,
i also have to emulate the kind of person I would like to work with.
let's hope I can meet that challenge.
it would really be great to actually function as the well-respected organization that
this community holds in such high regard.
integrity is everything.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
30 minutes in the fitting room
I finally have a chance to sit down and think for a moment.
quiet time for myself.
spent a bulk of my day away from the house.
I succumbed to my material needs and used my credit card
to buy business casual clothes to wear for work as well as
black clothes to wear for my massage gig (that's our official dress code: all black...I like.).
I feel good about my purchases (all at good prices), but I'm feeling a little scared.
my credit card debt isn't going anywhere, but I don't have
any more to contribute each month.
'feeling kinda stuck with my financial situation.
and it didn't help that they did a feature on the news
about saving for retirement. i just wanted to change the channel.
it just made me feel depressed.
on a lighter note
I made dinner tonight and succeeded in creating a vegetarian meal
that was low on carbs (simple carbs) and high on complex carbs and protein.
I made:
- vegetarian chili
- brussel sprouts (baked and sauted in lots of garlic)
- broccoli (stir-fried in lots of garlic and garlic salt)
- corn tortillas
I forgot how filling beans are. I was already full
by the time I finished 1/4 of my 1 cup serving!
I didn't add the textured soy protein like the recipe called for
because I didn't know what the hell that was.
I think it's similar to that gluten stuff that
they use to make vegetarian "meat".
I almost added the firm tofu because that's what i thought "soy protein" was.
thank goodness i didn't.
I don't think the recipe would've turned out well.
nevertheless, my bf loved the chili...'didn't care much for the brussel sprouts, though.
I, on the other hand, loved the brussel sprouts.
I also really liked the broccoli.
It just felt good to be eating green vegetables.
And my goal is to eat more of them, so if anyone out
there knows of any all-vegetable recipes, please please let me know.
I think my next venture is to search for recipes with kale in it.
I really like that stuff.
and it's so good for you, especially since it's a green, leafy vegetable.
i think I also want to try making a vegetarian enchilada...and no, not
a simple cheese one.
I remember my friend brought some to work one day.
he filled it with black beans and roasted bell pepper.
I should've tried it when I had the chance.
hmmm...and since I'm trying to cut down on the dairy,
I wonder how soy cheese tastes as a substitute to the regular
monterey jack.
for now, i will try the veggie dogs I bought.
I still have some of those buttermilk biscuits that come in a roll,
which you bake yourself.
I'm planning on wrapping the veggie dogs in those and baking them.
I hope it tastes good!
why, Georgia, why?
i know it's just the beginning of my new job situation.
it's only been 2 weeks since i started working again, but
I can't help but feel a little anxious about the outcome of it all.
I'm just worried about the spa job.
while it is my outlet to pursue my passion in massage,
it is also my 2nd source of income.
my first job won't fulfill my financial needs.
I'm just hoping that business will pick up at the spa sooner than later
so that I can not only make ends meet but also make extra for savings.
I'm definitely not going to wallow in self-pity, though.
I know this is just gonna take a lot more patience on my part
and a little re-strategizing.
it's just a little scary because i'm in the exact situation that
i've tried to stay away from.
I just don't want to walk a meaningless path, you know?
'reminds me of that john mayer song, "Why Georgia?".....
(i swear that song describes exactly how i'm feeling)
I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind
Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul
Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down
Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself
If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
I finally have a chance to sit down and think for a moment.
quiet time for myself.
spent a bulk of my day away from the house.
I succumbed to my material needs and used my credit card
to buy business casual clothes to wear for work as well as
black clothes to wear for my massage gig (that's our official dress code: all black...I like.).
I feel good about my purchases (all at good prices), but I'm feeling a little scared.
my credit card debt isn't going anywhere, but I don't have
any more to contribute each month.
'feeling kinda stuck with my financial situation.
and it didn't help that they did a feature on the news
about saving for retirement. i just wanted to change the channel.
it just made me feel depressed.
on a lighter note
I made dinner tonight and succeeded in creating a vegetarian meal
that was low on carbs (simple carbs) and high on complex carbs and protein.
I made:
- vegetarian chili
- brussel sprouts (baked and sauted in lots of garlic)
- broccoli (stir-fried in lots of garlic and garlic salt)
- corn tortillas
I forgot how filling beans are. I was already full
by the time I finished 1/4 of my 1 cup serving!
I didn't add the textured soy protein like the recipe called for
because I didn't know what the hell that was.
I think it's similar to that gluten stuff that
they use to make vegetarian "meat".
I almost added the firm tofu because that's what i thought "soy protein" was.
thank goodness i didn't.
I don't think the recipe would've turned out well.
nevertheless, my bf loved the chili...'didn't care much for the brussel sprouts, though.
I, on the other hand, loved the brussel sprouts.
I also really liked the broccoli.
It just felt good to be eating green vegetables.
And my goal is to eat more of them, so if anyone out
there knows of any all-vegetable recipes, please please let me know.
I think my next venture is to search for recipes with kale in it.
I really like that stuff.
and it's so good for you, especially since it's a green, leafy vegetable.
i think I also want to try making a vegetarian enchilada...and no, not
a simple cheese one.
I remember my friend brought some to work one day.
he filled it with black beans and roasted bell pepper.
I should've tried it when I had the chance.
hmmm...and since I'm trying to cut down on the dairy,
I wonder how soy cheese tastes as a substitute to the regular
monterey jack.
for now, i will try the veggie dogs I bought.
I still have some of those buttermilk biscuits that come in a roll,
which you bake yourself.
I'm planning on wrapping the veggie dogs in those and baking them.
I hope it tastes good!
why, Georgia, why?
i know it's just the beginning of my new job situation.
it's only been 2 weeks since i started working again, but
I can't help but feel a little anxious about the outcome of it all.
I'm just worried about the spa job.
while it is my outlet to pursue my passion in massage,
it is also my 2nd source of income.
my first job won't fulfill my financial needs.
I'm just hoping that business will pick up at the spa sooner than later
so that I can not only make ends meet but also make extra for savings.
I'm definitely not going to wallow in self-pity, though.
I know this is just gonna take a lot more patience on my part
and a little re-strategizing.
it's just a little scary because i'm in the exact situation that
i've tried to stay away from.
I just don't want to walk a meaningless path, you know?
'reminds me of that john mayer song, "Why Georgia?".....
(i swear that song describes exactly how i'm feeling)
I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind
Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul
Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down
Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself
If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
sneaking around
once again I must do this in order to get on-line.
my co-worker went to get the mail at our P.O. box
downtown, so she said I could use her computer...the only one with internet access
in the office!
anyhow, I'm feeling crappy that I couldn't blog yesterday.
i'm telling you, this lack of internet access is killing me!
also, my shoulder/neck area still hasn;t healed.
In fact, i went to my old work so that my old boss could work on
it.
I think I have a sprain or something, cause it's still there.
It's pretty bad.
Although, I did get the best deep tissue massage ever last night!
I swear, my ex-boss is a true bodyworker.
If any of you want to make an appointment with her, just ask
and I'll give you the information for the day spa she owns.
She's been a bodyworker now for 10years.
I'm telling you, she knows what she's doing.
A HUGE contrast from that other woman I got a massage from
on Sunday. And this woman has been a therapist a lot longet than
my ex-boss (15 years).
She was an amateur compared to her.
uh oh, gotta go.
my co-worker is back. more later.
once again I must do this in order to get on-line.
my co-worker went to get the mail at our P.O. box
downtown, so she said I could use her computer...the only one with internet access
in the office!
anyhow, I'm feeling crappy that I couldn't blog yesterday.
i'm telling you, this lack of internet access is killing me!
also, my shoulder/neck area still hasn;t healed.
In fact, i went to my old work so that my old boss could work on
it.
I think I have a sprain or something, cause it's still there.
It's pretty bad.
Although, I did get the best deep tissue massage ever last night!
I swear, my ex-boss is a true bodyworker.
If any of you want to make an appointment with her, just ask
and I'll give you the information for the day spa she owns.
She's been a bodyworker now for 10years.
I'm telling you, she knows what she's doing.
A HUGE contrast from that other woman I got a massage from
on Sunday. And this woman has been a therapist a lot longet than
my ex-boss (15 years).
She was an amateur compared to her.
uh oh, gotta go.
my co-worker is back. more later.
Monday, February 10, 2003
11:33p
change begins with me
reading Gary's blog and comments section on "War"
really made me analyze more why i am completely against attacking Iraq.
so, gary, if you're reading this, thanks for being open to dialogue about this
in your comments section! It was really great to read what everyone contributed.
reading the comments made me think about the many freedoms we are
priveleged to have in the U.S.
unfortunately, we forget that these freedoms are not just a result of the struggles
of activists of the past (and present) and the presence of our military, but also because of the way
our government has oppressed other countries and peoples.
and as for our military power, it's just sad, very sad that we are stuck in
this "bullying" mindset in order to keep the rest of the world from attacking us.
hence, we continue to spend billions and billions of dollars on the military when
there are soooo many other issues we need to address with this money (i.e.education,
health care, and most importantly, the environment).
Good god, I don't even think many people are remotely aware of
how detrimental it is for us to pay attention to our
living habits in order to stop the degradation of the earth.
I was just reading in The Food Revolution
how natural disasters have been increasing every year since 1980.
And these natural disasters (floods, storms, etc.) are all a result of the
"green house" effect caused by, plain and simply, human consumption.
hell, without our environment, we don't have crap!
and with the threat of nuclear war with this attack on Iraq, we can pretty much
kiss our lovely planet earth goodbye
because not only will we be killing people
we'll also be increasing the green house effect and will
continue the massacre of hundreds of species of plants and animals.
and if you know science, you can attest that any imbalance in
our ecosystem is not a good thing for us.
actually, according to The Food Revolution, the earth is far better off without
human existence.
at least then, the earth can recuperate itself and regain the balance
that we humans have, quite frankly, destroyed.
so about the attack on iraq....there's no need for it.
and just because we can attack, doesn't mean we should.
at some point we need to get out of this bullying mentality and change the way we do
foreign policy. of course, this will probably take another 3 World Wars and the
decimation of earth before we get the damn picture.
this is what happens when we enjoy our freedoms so much that it leads us to complacency.
change begins with me
reading Gary's blog and comments section on "War"
really made me analyze more why i am completely against attacking Iraq.
so, gary, if you're reading this, thanks for being open to dialogue about this
in your comments section! It was really great to read what everyone contributed.
reading the comments made me think about the many freedoms we are
priveleged to have in the U.S.
unfortunately, we forget that these freedoms are not just a result of the struggles
of activists of the past (and present) and the presence of our military, but also because of the way
our government has oppressed other countries and peoples.
and as for our military power, it's just sad, very sad that we are stuck in
this "bullying" mindset in order to keep the rest of the world from attacking us.
hence, we continue to spend billions and billions of dollars on the military when
there are soooo many other issues we need to address with this money (i.e.education,
health care, and most importantly, the environment).
Good god, I don't even think many people are remotely aware of
how detrimental it is for us to pay attention to our
living habits in order to stop the degradation of the earth.
I was just reading in The Food Revolution
how natural disasters have been increasing every year since 1980.
And these natural disasters (floods, storms, etc.) are all a result of the
"green house" effect caused by, plain and simply, human consumption.
hell, without our environment, we don't have crap!
and with the threat of nuclear war with this attack on Iraq, we can pretty much
kiss our lovely planet earth goodbye
because not only will we be killing people
we'll also be increasing the green house effect and will
continue the massacre of hundreds of species of plants and animals.
and if you know science, you can attest that any imbalance in
our ecosystem is not a good thing for us.
actually, according to The Food Revolution, the earth is far better off without
human existence.
at least then, the earth can recuperate itself and regain the balance
that we humans have, quite frankly, destroyed.
so about the attack on iraq....there's no need for it.
and just because we can attack, doesn't mean we should.
at some point we need to get out of this bullying mentality and change the way we do
foreign policy. of course, this will probably take another 3 World Wars and the
decimation of earth before we get the damn picture.
this is what happens when we enjoy our freedoms so much that it leads us to complacency.
Sunday, February 09, 2003
and the search continues....
i thought i had it made today when i was able to book a massage in Berkeley.
the tension in my upper back/neck/etc. area still had not released when i woke up thi
morning.
in fact, it was pretty difficult to turn my head.
i felt like a cramp had crippled my neck and shoulder area.
I was again desperate for relief.
unfortunatley, the therapist I got was a good one, but
not for me.
she was too light on the pressure and did not spend enough
time on my upper back area like I had asked.
I felt kinda bad for her too because although she has
been a therapist for 15 years, she could not decipher which
muscle she was massaging when I asked her, "is that the teres minor muscle?".
She simply replied, "I'm not sure".
Come to think of it, I don't even think she knew what i was
talking about when I mentioned that I thought my tension was coming
from the "supraspinatus" muscle.
boy, i certainly want to be a better therapist than that in 15 years.
I was also not impressed with the limited number of stroke variations she used.
it was pretty much the same motion over and over again.
she didn't even use her forearms in any of her strokes.
I was quite surprised.
I don't think she had bad intentions within the session.
But I do think she was not focused enough nor did she listen intently to my needs.
it's not that she didn't care. perhaps her mind was on other things.
unfortunately, this means it's back to the drawing board for me.
I think I won't go into my spa job tomorrow night.
I was thinking of trying out this one lady in Berkeley.
She integrates different modalities with another modality called Soft Tissue Release
(or something like that)
I hope that works.
For now , I think I will just rely on my bf, even if he hates trying to give me
massages.
But he offered to help anyway.
sweet guy.
I just hope he has a little more patience than usual, cause
this thing in my back is pretty serious tension.
i thought i had it made today when i was able to book a massage in Berkeley.
the tension in my upper back/neck/etc. area still had not released when i woke up thi
morning.
in fact, it was pretty difficult to turn my head.
i felt like a cramp had crippled my neck and shoulder area.
I was again desperate for relief.
unfortunatley, the therapist I got was a good one, but
not for me.
she was too light on the pressure and did not spend enough
time on my upper back area like I had asked.
I felt kinda bad for her too because although she has
been a therapist for 15 years, she could not decipher which
muscle she was massaging when I asked her, "is that the teres minor muscle?".
She simply replied, "I'm not sure".
Come to think of it, I don't even think she knew what i was
talking about when I mentioned that I thought my tension was coming
from the "supraspinatus" muscle.
boy, i certainly want to be a better therapist than that in 15 years.
I was also not impressed with the limited number of stroke variations she used.
it was pretty much the same motion over and over again.
she didn't even use her forearms in any of her strokes.
I was quite surprised.
I don't think she had bad intentions within the session.
But I do think she was not focused enough nor did she listen intently to my needs.
it's not that she didn't care. perhaps her mind was on other things.
unfortunately, this means it's back to the drawing board for me.
I think I won't go into my spa job tomorrow night.
I was thinking of trying out this one lady in Berkeley.
She integrates different modalities with another modality called Soft Tissue Release
(or something like that)
I hope that works.
For now , I think I will just rely on my bf, even if he hates trying to give me
massages.
But he offered to help anyway.
sweet guy.
I just hope he has a little more patience than usual, cause
this thing in my back is pretty serious tension.
Saturday, February 08, 2003
living vicariously through her
thank goodness someone out there is livin' it up.
just got off the phone with my cousin in NY.
we talked for almost an hour about her adventures.
it was great to just sit back and listen and of course
laugh like there's no tomorrow.
food was, of course, a major topic of discussion.
it always is with us two.
i was just really really happy to know how much
she's enjoying herself.
when she first left, I wasn't worried at all.
she's the kind of person that turns everything into an adventure.
that's why it was strange for me to learn that she was a little
scared of the whole thing.
thank goodness she's settled in there.
thank goodness I have her to constantly remind me
to live life to its fullest.
THANKS, GAILY!!!!
some sunshine
today was a good day with my two clients.
I had two sessions this morning with them.
if only i lived in an ideal world where I could just do massage and not have to
worry about any of the logistics and things.
cause I really enjoy it.
ho hum
when i was unemployed, i had a chance to re-evaluate
my life and my values.
one thing I saw of my old ways was that i allowed work
to take over my brain.
i let it tire me out mentally, which kept me from doing things I loved and needed to do (like exercising).
I promised myself that this time around,
i wouldn't do that.
that's why I chose the path that i have with massage
and this other part time job as an Admin Assist.
I wanted some flexibility in my work schedule
so that there would be space and time for me to do the things
I want to do.
funny thing is, i've been so focused on making my new schedule work
that I think I'm falling back into the same trap that I promised not to get into.
in retrospect, i think it's only natural for me to be focused in this way
since it is my first week of work.
I need to get myself mentally prepared for the tasks and schedule at hand.
maybe i shouldn't judge myself too harshly.
however, i'm glad that i caught myself this time
so that i remember to keep my promise to myself.
but you know, it's challenging for me right now to think of
anything but surviving financially.
especially when i still can't really spend money on anything other than bills and food.
Then again, maybe it is a good thing for me to be in this mode of watching my money.
it simply opens the door for other options...a cleansing of the soul, if you will.
hmm...i think i wrote about this before.
nevertheless, it forces me to be more creative with my time
and what i choose to do to have a good time.
i just don't want it to stifle me from setting goals for myself.
i know i need to watch myself, cause I can just see me getting
too caught up in being conservative with my money
that I never dare to dream or reach for things i really want.
cause there's so much I need and want to do/have.
I guess I'm also being a little impatient.
maybe I'm so used to getting the things i want and need
in an instant...
wow I can't believe how much money i'd spend on myself sometimes.
I'm hungry - I go eat a $25 meal at Venezia
I'm not satisfied with how my bathroom looks - I spend almost $100 to re-decorate it.
then again, i'm happy with everything I've spent my money on.
i guess it's all part of living life to its fullest.
besides, i'm still a pretty thrifty shopper when it comes to spending money.
and i don't even buy clothes for myself much.
it's always on things for the house
or food for the table.
stuff like that.
I'd rather go home/housewares shopping than clothes shopping any day!
but you know, it's really expensive just to live these days.
I often wonder how someone with an income like mine
really benefits from having to maintain a car and a house.
cause when it comes right down to it, neither are true "assets" (as they would say in the financial world),
even if a house increases in value with age.
so much money goes into it to maintain it.
I sometimes think maybe I should just live in a cheap apartment and ride a bike.
and then I wake up to reality and slap myself, cause I'm wayyy too dependent on
my car. AND, I love my house. Besides, where would we
host our yearly x-mas parties? I just dunno how i would ever unlearn that dependency.
stinky boy
finally, my bf is out of the shower.
he went skiing today with some friends.
lucky bastard.
I sooo wish I was on the slopes in my snowblades, too!
but that's ok. I'm just glad he went cause he's been itching to
go for a couple of months now.
once again, we will watch our tape of shows from Thursday night.
i'm afraid he won't last the whole tape, though.
he's pretty tired, so i expect him to conk out within the first 10 minutes.
I'm just glad my baby's home. :)
kink-y
i still have a damn kink in my neck. but this time around, it's pretty bad.
the left side of my upper back is just all knotted up and tight.
i've been stretching it all day. I even went to the hot tub at the gym
to treat it with some heat.
I also tried some PNF stretches (contracting the muscle before stretching it out)
still no release.
dammit!!!!
and to top it off, i couldn't book a massage at any of the places i called...
- watercourse way
- north star bodywork
-about face and body
- la belle day spa
NONE!
I was tempted to go to the spa I work at, but I didn't really want to do a trade
with another therapist and I didn't really want to pay $80 for a massage when I knew that I could
get a free one if I traded with someone.
catch 22 again.
I just wish that I could step outside my body for an hour so that
i could massage my own back.
thank goodness someone out there is livin' it up.
just got off the phone with my cousin in NY.
we talked for almost an hour about her adventures.
it was great to just sit back and listen and of course
laugh like there's no tomorrow.
food was, of course, a major topic of discussion.
it always is with us two.
i was just really really happy to know how much
she's enjoying herself.
when she first left, I wasn't worried at all.
she's the kind of person that turns everything into an adventure.
that's why it was strange for me to learn that she was a little
scared of the whole thing.
thank goodness she's settled in there.
thank goodness I have her to constantly remind me
to live life to its fullest.
THANKS, GAILY!!!!
some sunshine
today was a good day with my two clients.
I had two sessions this morning with them.
if only i lived in an ideal world where I could just do massage and not have to
worry about any of the logistics and things.
cause I really enjoy it.
ho hum
when i was unemployed, i had a chance to re-evaluate
my life and my values.
one thing I saw of my old ways was that i allowed work
to take over my brain.
i let it tire me out mentally, which kept me from doing things I loved and needed to do (like exercising).
I promised myself that this time around,
i wouldn't do that.
that's why I chose the path that i have with massage
and this other part time job as an Admin Assist.
I wanted some flexibility in my work schedule
so that there would be space and time for me to do the things
I want to do.
funny thing is, i've been so focused on making my new schedule work
that I think I'm falling back into the same trap that I promised not to get into.
in retrospect, i think it's only natural for me to be focused in this way
since it is my first week of work.
I need to get myself mentally prepared for the tasks and schedule at hand.
maybe i shouldn't judge myself too harshly.
however, i'm glad that i caught myself this time
so that i remember to keep my promise to myself.
but you know, it's challenging for me right now to think of
anything but surviving financially.
especially when i still can't really spend money on anything other than bills and food.
Then again, maybe it is a good thing for me to be in this mode of watching my money.
it simply opens the door for other options...a cleansing of the soul, if you will.
hmm...i think i wrote about this before.
nevertheless, it forces me to be more creative with my time
and what i choose to do to have a good time.
i just don't want it to stifle me from setting goals for myself.
i know i need to watch myself, cause I can just see me getting
too caught up in being conservative with my money
that I never dare to dream or reach for things i really want.
cause there's so much I need and want to do/have.
I guess I'm also being a little impatient.
maybe I'm so used to getting the things i want and need
in an instant...
wow I can't believe how much money i'd spend on myself sometimes.
I'm hungry - I go eat a $25 meal at Venezia
I'm not satisfied with how my bathroom looks - I spend almost $100 to re-decorate it.
then again, i'm happy with everything I've spent my money on.
i guess it's all part of living life to its fullest.
besides, i'm still a pretty thrifty shopper when it comes to spending money.
and i don't even buy clothes for myself much.
it's always on things for the house
or food for the table.
stuff like that.
I'd rather go home/housewares shopping than clothes shopping any day!
but you know, it's really expensive just to live these days.
I often wonder how someone with an income like mine
really benefits from having to maintain a car and a house.
cause when it comes right down to it, neither are true "assets" (as they would say in the financial world),
even if a house increases in value with age.
so much money goes into it to maintain it.
I sometimes think maybe I should just live in a cheap apartment and ride a bike.
and then I wake up to reality and slap myself, cause I'm wayyy too dependent on
my car. AND, I love my house. Besides, where would we
host our yearly x-mas parties? I just dunno how i would ever unlearn that dependency.
stinky boy
finally, my bf is out of the shower.
he went skiing today with some friends.
lucky bastard.
I sooo wish I was on the slopes in my snowblades, too!
but that's ok. I'm just glad he went cause he's been itching to
go for a couple of months now.
once again, we will watch our tape of shows from Thursday night.
i'm afraid he won't last the whole tape, though.
he's pretty tired, so i expect him to conk out within the first 10 minutes.
I'm just glad my baby's home. :)
kink-y
i still have a damn kink in my neck. but this time around, it's pretty bad.
the left side of my upper back is just all knotted up and tight.
i've been stretching it all day. I even went to the hot tub at the gym
to treat it with some heat.
I also tried some PNF stretches (contracting the muscle before stretching it out)
still no release.
dammit!!!!
and to top it off, i couldn't book a massage at any of the places i called...
- watercourse way
- north star bodywork
-about face and body
- la belle day spa
NONE!
I was tempted to go to the spa I work at, but I didn't really want to do a trade
with another therapist and I didn't really want to pay $80 for a massage when I knew that I could
get a free one if I traded with someone.
catch 22 again.
I just wish that I could step outside my body for an hour so that
i could massage my own back.
dude!
I know. very unoriginal title.
hell, I can barely think right now.
I'm so drained!!!
got home from the spa at 11:30p tonight...err looks like yesterday night now.
the reason why I came home so late?
I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST WALK-IN CLIENT!!!!
WOO HOO!!!!
AND...she was Pinay visiting from the Philippines.
She just finished shopping downtown, so she came by and requested a 90 min Swedish massage.
finally! i got a walk-in client.
one of the owners was so nice.
before I had any clients for the evening, he asked if he could make an appointment
with me. I guess he was feeling bad that I wasn't getting any appointments.
how sweet was that, huh?
anyhoo, i guess I don't feel as drained as when i first walked into the house.
i was almost in tears!
I guess the 4 chips ahoy cookies I ate helped.
*burp!*
(excuse me)
long windy road
that's what I see for myself this year.
I know I'm gonna have to roll up my sleeves and sacrifice this year.
got lots of work to do on my end.
i'm just soooo glad that the environment at my spa job is so warm and inviting.
i can't tell you how much I look forward to being there.
sometimes i secretly wish I didn't have clients during my shift
just so I could sit there, in that beautiful, modern and fresh room reading my book.
I swear, all we need are foot rests for our couches and
we're easily one of the most comfortable spas in town.
hehe.
oh boy, I think I'm gonna give out soon.
I'm so exhausted!
ok, 'better join my bf in mr. sandman's land.
I've got a couple of private clients with appointments tomorrow starting at 10am.
Good night!
I know. very unoriginal title.
hell, I can barely think right now.
I'm so drained!!!
got home from the spa at 11:30p tonight...err looks like yesterday night now.
the reason why I came home so late?
I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST WALK-IN CLIENT!!!!
WOO HOO!!!!
AND...she was Pinay visiting from the Philippines.
She just finished shopping downtown, so she came by and requested a 90 min Swedish massage.
finally! i got a walk-in client.
one of the owners was so nice.
before I had any clients for the evening, he asked if he could make an appointment
with me. I guess he was feeling bad that I wasn't getting any appointments.
how sweet was that, huh?
anyhoo, i guess I don't feel as drained as when i first walked into the house.
i was almost in tears!
I guess the 4 chips ahoy cookies I ate helped.
*burp!*
(excuse me)
long windy road
that's what I see for myself this year.
I know I'm gonna have to roll up my sleeves and sacrifice this year.
got lots of work to do on my end.
i'm just soooo glad that the environment at my spa job is so warm and inviting.
i can't tell you how much I look forward to being there.
sometimes i secretly wish I didn't have clients during my shift
just so I could sit there, in that beautiful, modern and fresh room reading my book.
I swear, all we need are foot rests for our couches and
we're easily one of the most comfortable spas in town.
hehe.
oh boy, I think I'm gonna give out soon.
I'm so exhausted!
ok, 'better join my bf in mr. sandman's land.
I've got a couple of private clients with appointments tomorrow starting at 10am.
Good night!
Thursday, February 06, 2003
7:39p
I'm here at the spa again, trying to get some clients.
I didn't have anyone booked for me, but I've decided to come in
and try to catch any walk-ins.
for now this is the way it has to be.
i just need to be consistent and hopefully the clientele will come.
it's funny...I kinda feel like i'm pimpin' myself.
although i'm really not, it just feels like it.
i hate feeling this way so I guess I just have to
re-think things.
ok, I'm here to build our capacity to take clients on the weeknights.
ya.
that's it.
hmm...I still feel like I'm pimpin' myself.
anyhoo, no clients yet.
well, except one.
I gave a complimentary chair massage to this
guy that was waiting for his haircut.
his stylist was a little behind, so we offered it as a generous
gesture.
at least he said the massage was great. but i think he
was in a rush to just get his haircut.
one good thing that came out of tonight is
I'm gonna get a FREE haircut from one of the stylists.
we're gonna do a trade - she gives me a haircut and I give her a
free massage.
she's a really nice person.
but like me, she's gotta wait around for business, too.
I just hope all this waiting around and coming home
late on the weeknights pays off.
I just can't help but think of taking a vacation.
my dad's friend offered him two free airline tickets anywhere
in the world. however, there are restrictions.
first of all, it's only valid until Feb 28th and you have to fly stand-by.
hmm...being that I don't have ANY money whatsoever to spend on
anything other than my bills and food, I couldn't take that trip
even if i wanted to.
anyhow, i'd better get off of this computer for now. lots of clients and
folks around me. will try to blog later when people are gone.
I'm here at the spa again, trying to get some clients.
I didn't have anyone booked for me, but I've decided to come in
and try to catch any walk-ins.
for now this is the way it has to be.
i just need to be consistent and hopefully the clientele will come.
it's funny...I kinda feel like i'm pimpin' myself.
although i'm really not, it just feels like it.
i hate feeling this way so I guess I just have to
re-think things.
ok, I'm here to build our capacity to take clients on the weeknights.
ya.
that's it.
hmm...I still feel like I'm pimpin' myself.
anyhoo, no clients yet.
well, except one.
I gave a complimentary chair massage to this
guy that was waiting for his haircut.
his stylist was a little behind, so we offered it as a generous
gesture.
at least he said the massage was great. but i think he
was in a rush to just get his haircut.
one good thing that came out of tonight is
I'm gonna get a FREE haircut from one of the stylists.
we're gonna do a trade - she gives me a haircut and I give her a
free massage.
she's a really nice person.
but like me, she's gotta wait around for business, too.
I just hope all this waiting around and coming home
late on the weeknights pays off.
I just can't help but think of taking a vacation.
my dad's friend offered him two free airline tickets anywhere
in the world. however, there are restrictions.
first of all, it's only valid until Feb 28th and you have to fly stand-by.
hmm...being that I don't have ANY money whatsoever to spend on
anything other than my bills and food, I couldn't take that trip
even if i wanted to.
anyhow, i'd better get off of this computer for now. lots of clients and
folks around me. will try to blog later when people are gone.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
9:59p
only if
if only I could automatically blog my thoughts as I think them.
this would have been perfect today as I drove across the bridge to the peninsula.
i swear, it's like looking at heaven.
it was such a beautiful, clear day...actually it's been like this for the last 5 days.
from my vantage point, I could see san francisco, the bay bridge, the san mateo bridge...
yesterday, as I was driving over the bay bridge into the city, I saw
everything crystal clear...not a cloud in the sky or smog/fog looming...
I saw the golden gate, angel island, alcatraz, mt. tamalpais, the san mateo bridge
man....it was as if I could see forever.
I'm telling you, the last few days have been simply beautiful.
today in particular, felt like the first day of life looking at all that magnificence.
as usual, my mind wandered...hopeful of things to come...
inspired to do the things i dream of...
sounds kinda hokey, but it really just felt good to be alive today.
i wonder if all my Wednesday days off will feel like this.
or maybe I just feel like this cause it's my weekly day off.
whatever the case may be, it's just good to be alive.
one of the things that ran through my mind while driving was pursuing photography, just like my bf.
I called him on my cell while I was driving to let him know.
of course he was excited. and of course if i really were to take it up, it would
give him the excuse he's been needing to buy another camera.
i swear that man is a sucker for photo stuff.
I was inspired to take up photography because
i just want another outlet to capture the beauty,
pain, ugliness, etc. of things.
blogging about it or writing poetry doesn't always do the trick.
only if
if only I could automatically blog my thoughts as I think them.
this would have been perfect today as I drove across the bridge to the peninsula.
i swear, it's like looking at heaven.
it was such a beautiful, clear day...actually it's been like this for the last 5 days.
from my vantage point, I could see san francisco, the bay bridge, the san mateo bridge...
yesterday, as I was driving over the bay bridge into the city, I saw
everything crystal clear...not a cloud in the sky or smog/fog looming...
I saw the golden gate, angel island, alcatraz, mt. tamalpais, the san mateo bridge
man....it was as if I could see forever.
I'm telling you, the last few days have been simply beautiful.
today in particular, felt like the first day of life looking at all that magnificence.
as usual, my mind wandered...hopeful of things to come...
inspired to do the things i dream of...
sounds kinda hokey, but it really just felt good to be alive today.
i wonder if all my Wednesday days off will feel like this.
or maybe I just feel like this cause it's my weekly day off.
whatever the case may be, it's just good to be alive.
one of the things that ran through my mind while driving was pursuing photography, just like my bf.
I called him on my cell while I was driving to let him know.
of course he was excited. and of course if i really were to take it up, it would
give him the excuse he's been needing to buy another camera.
i swear that man is a sucker for photo stuff.
I was inspired to take up photography because
i just want another outlet to capture the beauty,
pain, ugliness, etc. of things.
blogging about it or writing poetry doesn't always do the trick.
9:14a
home sweet home!!!!
woo hoo! I like this 4-day work week thing.
and it's perfect to take Wednesdays off since it's right in the middle of the week...
usually the time when you need a break.
I'm just happy I got to sleep in a little.
unfortunately, I woke up with a kink in my back.
I should really be stretching that out right now, but I was so
excited to be home that I just had to blog about it for a second.
I know. I'm wierd.
I actually have to leave at 10a to make it to a session at a client's house.
This client is one of my "regulars". She still has 2 sessions left on her
"buy 3 get 1 free" package, which she purchased from me.
Then, I'm heading back home cause our windows are finally getting replaced!
Oh I hope that makes the house a bit warmer.
Afterwards, I'm planning on washing my car.
man it's filthy!!!!
then, i'm gonna spend forever in the gym.
it'll be so nice to not feel rushed.
I haven't worked out since....since....I think last wednesday!
oh gawd! no wonder my body has all these crazy kinks.
Anyhoo, I'd better get ready for my session and stretch out a bit.
yeah!!!! it's a beautiful, cloudless, sunny day again!!!!
will blog more later...
home sweet home!!!!
woo hoo! I like this 4-day work week thing.
and it's perfect to take Wednesdays off since it's right in the middle of the week...
usually the time when you need a break.
I'm just happy I got to sleep in a little.
unfortunately, I woke up with a kink in my back.
I should really be stretching that out right now, but I was so
excited to be home that I just had to blog about it for a second.
I know. I'm wierd.
I actually have to leave at 10a to make it to a session at a client's house.
This client is one of my "regulars". She still has 2 sessions left on her
"buy 3 get 1 free" package, which she purchased from me.
Then, I'm heading back home cause our windows are finally getting replaced!
Oh I hope that makes the house a bit warmer.
Afterwards, I'm planning on washing my car.
man it's filthy!!!!
then, i'm gonna spend forever in the gym.
it'll be so nice to not feel rushed.
I haven't worked out since....since....I think last wednesday!
oh gawd! no wonder my body has all these crazy kinks.
Anyhoo, I'd better get ready for my session and stretch out a bit.
yeah!!!! it's a beautiful, cloudless, sunny day again!!!!
will blog more later...
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
re-invention of thyself
by the tme i get to the computer, my brain is simply
too tired to blog.
that's how I've been feeling these last couple of nights
with my new 10 hour work schedule.
luckily tonight, I decided to take care of myself instead
of go into the spa for my second night.
My neck has been bothering me for a few days.
I think the tight muscles are somehow impinging on one
of the nerves, cause the muscles below my eyes tend to twitch
every now and again.
It's as if my eyes are tired or ready to sleep.
so i decided to go back to the old bodywork place I used to work at.
I love that place.
once I climbed into the flannel sheets on the table,
i felt like i was at home.
it was so comforting to know that I would be taken care of again by one of my colleagues.
and I am sooo happy that I went, because even though
the tension in my neck was not completely released, the rest of my tight muscles were.
I could literally feel the tingle from the blood making it's way through the vessels in my neck
to my brain.
*sigh*
during the session, I just kept thinking to myself
how i need to re-adjust my lifestyle again in order to find and maintain
that balance that I want and need.
these last 4 days of working was a good test to see exactly how
my "balance" would be affected.
for one thing, I need to make time to stretch before I get ready for work and
at least twice during the day.
I also need to make time to walk or do something active on my lunch hour
to keep the circulation going through my veins.
Most importantly, I need to make time to do at least 15 minutes of
cardio on my crazy 10-hour work days.
and finally, no more wearing heels to work for me! damn, i feel like I broke my
foot today from wearing my stupid boots.
I had to literally massage the knots out of my in-step for almost an hour
to get it to relax.
Also, reading The Food Revolution has changed my thinking of eating
beef, chicken, other poultry, pork, dairy, and processed foods.
I'm gonna stay away from eating them as much as possible.
It's amazing the things we don't know about the foods we eat.
no wonder there is such a high percentage of heart disease and cancer in the U.S.
I dunno...I feel like i'm going through another level of self discovery.
over the last 5 years, I think I've been able to develop my emotional, spiritual and
psychological sense of self.
On this new journey, I feel as if my senses are more keen to notice
my physical being.
Whatever it is, i'm definitely getting pulled in some direction.
by the tme i get to the computer, my brain is simply
too tired to blog.
that's how I've been feeling these last couple of nights
with my new 10 hour work schedule.
luckily tonight, I decided to take care of myself instead
of go into the spa for my second night.
My neck has been bothering me for a few days.
I think the tight muscles are somehow impinging on one
of the nerves, cause the muscles below my eyes tend to twitch
every now and again.
It's as if my eyes are tired or ready to sleep.
so i decided to go back to the old bodywork place I used to work at.
I love that place.
once I climbed into the flannel sheets on the table,
i felt like i was at home.
it was so comforting to know that I would be taken care of again by one of my colleagues.
and I am sooo happy that I went, because even though
the tension in my neck was not completely released, the rest of my tight muscles were.
I could literally feel the tingle from the blood making it's way through the vessels in my neck
to my brain.
*sigh*
during the session, I just kept thinking to myself
how i need to re-adjust my lifestyle again in order to find and maintain
that balance that I want and need.
these last 4 days of working was a good test to see exactly how
my "balance" would be affected.
for one thing, I need to make time to stretch before I get ready for work and
at least twice during the day.
I also need to make time to walk or do something active on my lunch hour
to keep the circulation going through my veins.
Most importantly, I need to make time to do at least 15 minutes of
cardio on my crazy 10-hour work days.
and finally, no more wearing heels to work for me! damn, i feel like I broke my
foot today from wearing my stupid boots.
I had to literally massage the knots out of my in-step for almost an hour
to get it to relax.
Also, reading The Food Revolution has changed my thinking of eating
beef, chicken, other poultry, pork, dairy, and processed foods.
I'm gonna stay away from eating them as much as possible.
It's amazing the things we don't know about the foods we eat.
no wonder there is such a high percentage of heart disease and cancer in the U.S.
I dunno...I feel like i'm going through another level of self discovery.
over the last 5 years, I think I've been able to develop my emotional, spiritual and
psychological sense of self.
On this new journey, I feel as if my senses are more keen to notice
my physical being.
Whatever it is, i'm definitely getting pulled in some direction.
Monday, February 03, 2003
7:36p
guess where I'm blogging from?
paradise.
hehehe...ok, maybe not the kind of paradise one thinks of, but
I'm working at my spa job!!!!!
I'm currently taking my boss' place at the receptionist desk.
since it's not busy (at all), he's getting a massage from one of our
therapists.
He totally deserves it.
So, I'm sitting here watching the front, with full internet access,
and a super fast connection,
AND
I don't have to feel bad that I'm on-line...unlike at my day job.
wooopeeee!!! it's the simple things in life, man. :)
I'm just happy that I finally have a quiet moment to myself.
Well, especially since I'm BY myself here in the spa.
I actually made a few dollars giving this lady a hand massage.
She was my first client here at this spa.
Well, I can't exactly claim her as my client solely
since another therapist was massaging her other hand
and a third therapist was giving her a foot massage (Thai Massage style).
She really deserved special treatment, though.
She was such a nice lady.
Then, since it's super duper slow right now,
I asked my boss if there was anything I could do to help out.
Of course, there was a lot that needed to be done,
but he simply asked me to fold some towels.
'got to talking with one of the other therapists who is giving my boss a massage.
nice guy. very down-to-earth. definitely not some hot-shot therapist.
I like that.
I'm telling you guys, you've got to see this place.
It's so neat. especially at night.
very urban.
very chic.
If my house could only look like this, I think I would be in heaven.
I'm really into the whole "loft/urban look".
While in the bathroom, I was drooling over the stainless steel sink...
I want one. bad. okay, maybe not as bad as food or enough
money to last me this month, but...it's right up there.
(I'm kidding. really.)
guess where I'm blogging from?
paradise.
hehehe...ok, maybe not the kind of paradise one thinks of, but
I'm working at my spa job!!!!!
I'm currently taking my boss' place at the receptionist desk.
since it's not busy (at all), he's getting a massage from one of our
therapists.
He totally deserves it.
So, I'm sitting here watching the front, with full internet access,
and a super fast connection,
AND
I don't have to feel bad that I'm on-line...unlike at my day job.
wooopeeee!!! it's the simple things in life, man. :)
I'm just happy that I finally have a quiet moment to myself.
Well, especially since I'm BY myself here in the spa.
I actually made a few dollars giving this lady a hand massage.
She was my first client here at this spa.
Well, I can't exactly claim her as my client solely
since another therapist was massaging her other hand
and a third therapist was giving her a foot massage (Thai Massage style).
She really deserved special treatment, though.
She was such a nice lady.
Then, since it's super duper slow right now,
I asked my boss if there was anything I could do to help out.
Of course, there was a lot that needed to be done,
but he simply asked me to fold some towels.
'got to talking with one of the other therapists who is giving my boss a massage.
nice guy. very down-to-earth. definitely not some hot-shot therapist.
I like that.
I'm telling you guys, you've got to see this place.
It's so neat. especially at night.
very urban.
very chic.
If my house could only look like this, I think I would be in heaven.
I'm really into the whole "loft/urban look".
While in the bathroom, I was drooling over the stainless steel sink...
I want one. bad. okay, maybe not as bad as food or enough
money to last me this month, but...it's right up there.
(I'm kidding. really.)
1:35p
prayzzz the lawdddd!!!!
someone actually has internet access in this office.
as you can see I am at work.
my co-worker said I could use the internet while she is off to lunch.
my gawd! I feel a little more less like a caveman!
so today is my 3rd day working here.
I'll also be starting my spa job tonight.
ooooh weee....today will be the start of my crazy 8:30a-10p work schedule.
thank goodness I've got Wednesdays and the weekends off.
*sigh*
it's wierd feeling like I'm gonna get in trouble for using the internet.
anyhoo, I was feelin' a little sleepy in the morning, so I
decided to catch a few zzz's on my lunch break.
It is such a beautiful day out (though cold), that I drove to the
waterfront, parked and slept for a good 20 min.
My neck and back have been bothering me, so I did some
stretches to loosen them up. Then, off I went back to work.
My current assignments are very light.
Before this I was entering donor information into our database....errr
It's more like our an excel spreadsheet.
That's how it is in the non-profit world.
Not a lot of money available for administrative stuff...
which is probably why they haven't bought a real database program...
and they've been around for over 2 decades!!!
Ok, 'better get back to work.
I'd rather be playing outside.....
prayzzz the lawdddd!!!!
someone actually has internet access in this office.
as you can see I am at work.
my co-worker said I could use the internet while she is off to lunch.
my gawd! I feel a little more less like a caveman!
so today is my 3rd day working here.
I'll also be starting my spa job tonight.
ooooh weee....today will be the start of my crazy 8:30a-10p work schedule.
thank goodness I've got Wednesdays and the weekends off.
*sigh*
it's wierd feeling like I'm gonna get in trouble for using the internet.
anyhoo, I was feelin' a little sleepy in the morning, so I
decided to catch a few zzz's on my lunch break.
It is such a beautiful day out (though cold), that I drove to the
waterfront, parked and slept for a good 20 min.
My neck and back have been bothering me, so I did some
stretches to loosen them up. Then, off I went back to work.
My current assignments are very light.
Before this I was entering donor information into our database....errr
It's more like our an excel spreadsheet.
That's how it is in the non-profit world.
Not a lot of money available for administrative stuff...
which is probably why they haven't bought a real database program...
and they've been around for over 2 decades!!!
Ok, 'better get back to work.
I'd rather be playing outside.....
Saturday, February 01, 2003
8:12p
11 years in the making
just got back from our delicious dinner at Venezia.
mmm mmmm....torte gelato, green salad with asiago cheese dressing and linguine with
grilled prawns...mmmmmmm
I could go on and on about the food, but I think that will take me at least 2 chapters.
I just love that restaurant. the food is simply delicious!
You honestly can't go wrong with any order. In fact,
tonight my bf tried their roasted chicken w/ spinach and potatoes....mmmm...to die for!
so intead of an expensive get away to one of our favorite resorts, Seascape,
we decided on a different way of celebrating 11 years together. Actually, our anniversary
date is Feb. 2nd, but we celebrated today since he'll be on a photography field trip tomorrow.
Anyhoo, besides dinner, we checked out the Sebastiao Salgado photo exhibit at Santa Clara University.
Wow...I was simply in awe the whole time.
The focus of his photo journalistic style revolves around globalization.
He is also an economist, who grew up poor in Brazil, and all of this gives
him a truly unique and whole perspective, which comes out clearly in his photographs.
Walking around the exhibit made me feel at peace...the quiet and solitude
helped to clear my mind so that I could focus all my attention on this man's
amazing work.
The images displayed focused on the effects of globalization on children
as well as the migration of people out of their homelands.
*shakes head*
I cannot begin to explain how gracefully this man captured
the pain, suffering, yet hopefulness experienced by these displaced
peoples. Wow.
My bf and I talked for some time after walking through the exibit.
I could not help but express all the different things that went through my
mind as I saw those pictures.
It's amazing how photographs conjure up so many memories and associations.
One particular thing that stood out for me was this picture of a boy standing in a field
with a passing train in the background.
Apparently, there was a refugee camp that was composed of people living in abandoned train cars.
But this particular group of refugees were not considered so by their government
because they fled Serbia before the ethnic cleansing and civil war broke out.
Thus, the government did not include them in their efforts to transport
refugees via trains out of the camps.
...reading about this and seeing the image, reminded me of my trip to Montreal this summer.
while walking along the waterfront, I noticed that some of their little stores
were actually train cars.
Juxtaposing that with what I mentioned above just made me think how ironic life is.
after the exhibit, we headed off to Berkeley.
My bf did some photography shopping at a local art store and then we headed off to Venezia for dinner.
Later tonight we'll end our evening by catching up on our usual taped shows from Thursday night.
anything but ordinary please
yippee skippy...I'm actually gonna watch a concert in April.
'haven't been to one since Janet's "Velvet Rope Tour" a couple of years ago.
Tomorrow, I'm meeting my friend at the box office to buy tix for Avril's concert.
My bf and I keep joking that we will probably be the oldest ones there, which we probably will.
But, it'll still be worth it.
after getting tix, my friend and I will check out the Vietnames Spring Parade
and then do a little shopping. 'Still got a few gift certificates I haven't used, so
I plan on getting something to wear for work.
I even have a gift certificate for Origins makeup! woah.
11 years in the making
just got back from our delicious dinner at Venezia.
mmm mmmm....torte gelato, green salad with asiago cheese dressing and linguine with
grilled prawns...mmmmmmm
I could go on and on about the food, but I think that will take me at least 2 chapters.
I just love that restaurant. the food is simply delicious!
You honestly can't go wrong with any order. In fact,
tonight my bf tried their roasted chicken w/ spinach and potatoes....mmmm...to die for!
so intead of an expensive get away to one of our favorite resorts, Seascape,
we decided on a different way of celebrating 11 years together. Actually, our anniversary
date is Feb. 2nd, but we celebrated today since he'll be on a photography field trip tomorrow.
Anyhoo, besides dinner, we checked out the Sebastiao Salgado photo exhibit at Santa Clara University.
Wow...I was simply in awe the whole time.
The focus of his photo journalistic style revolves around globalization.
He is also an economist, who grew up poor in Brazil, and all of this gives
him a truly unique and whole perspective, which comes out clearly in his photographs.
Walking around the exhibit made me feel at peace...the quiet and solitude
helped to clear my mind so that I could focus all my attention on this man's
amazing work.
The images displayed focused on the effects of globalization on children
as well as the migration of people out of their homelands.
*shakes head*
I cannot begin to explain how gracefully this man captured
the pain, suffering, yet hopefulness experienced by these displaced
peoples. Wow.
My bf and I talked for some time after walking through the exibit.
I could not help but express all the different things that went through my
mind as I saw those pictures.
It's amazing how photographs conjure up so many memories and associations.
One particular thing that stood out for me was this picture of a boy standing in a field
with a passing train in the background.
Apparently, there was a refugee camp that was composed of people living in abandoned train cars.
But this particular group of refugees were not considered so by their government
because they fled Serbia before the ethnic cleansing and civil war broke out.
Thus, the government did not include them in their efforts to transport
refugees via trains out of the camps.
...reading about this and seeing the image, reminded me of my trip to Montreal this summer.
while walking along the waterfront, I noticed that some of their little stores
were actually train cars.
Juxtaposing that with what I mentioned above just made me think how ironic life is.
after the exhibit, we headed off to Berkeley.
My bf did some photography shopping at a local art store and then we headed off to Venezia for dinner.
Later tonight we'll end our evening by catching up on our usual taped shows from Thursday night.
anything but ordinary please
yippee skippy...I'm actually gonna watch a concert in April.
'haven't been to one since Janet's "Velvet Rope Tour" a couple of years ago.
Tomorrow, I'm meeting my friend at the box office to buy tix for Avril's concert.
My bf and I keep joking that we will probably be the oldest ones there, which we probably will.
But, it'll still be worth it.
after getting tix, my friend and I will check out the Vietnames Spring Parade
and then do a little shopping. 'Still got a few gift certificates I haven't used, so
I plan on getting something to wear for work.
I even have a gift certificate for Origins makeup! woah.
12:15p
windy day outside.
thank goodness the sun is out.
no clouds yet. hope it stays this way.
After a long, arduous (ok, had to look up this word before using it) week,
'm looking forward to my date with my bf today.
In celebration of 11 years being together, we're out to...
- see a photo exhibit
- hang out and read at a cafe in Berkeley
- and have dinner at my favorite restaurant: Venezia Cafe (also in berkely)
but gotta go now. the bf is ready.
will blog more later.
windy day outside.
thank goodness the sun is out.
no clouds yet. hope it stays this way.
After a long, arduous (ok, had to look up this word before using it) week,
'm looking forward to my date with my bf today.
In celebration of 11 years being together, we're out to...
- see a photo exhibit
- hang out and read at a cafe in Berkeley
- and have dinner at my favorite restaurant: Venezia Cafe (also in berkely)
but gotta go now. the bf is ready.
will blog more later.