bad-for-you bacon memories

it's strangely outcast today.
it's been this way all week.
oh, spoke too soon...the suns's peeking out a bit.

just finished a delicious breakfast of
bacon, scrambled eggs and rice with my
lovely bf.
I decided to go to the nearby store
and purchase some of the fatty, bad-for-you,
bacon. YUM!
We usually have the turkey bacon stuff, but this
time around, i decided to go for the good stuff.

dunno why, but all this talk about summertime
with friends reminds me of going camping as a kid.
one distinct memory I have of it is waking up
to one of my uncles or aunties frying up a
huge batch of scrambled eggs and bad-for-you bacon
in a pan on the Coleman burner/stove thingy.
And of course, there would be rice ready to eat,
which one of my other uncles or aunties
prepared in their usual rice cooker, which
they plugged in in the bathroom.

I remember always having to take a bath before
going to bed
because wearing tsinelas all day kicked up
all the lovely dirt and/or sand all over my feet,
in between my toes and in my toe nails.

I also remember going swimming in this nasty river,
which at the time i didn't think was so nasty,
whereby my feet literally sank into the muddy
bottom.

bad-for-you bacon also reminds me of my brother
and all those summer mornings we spent
eating it with eggs and rice
while watching
Green Acres,
Pettycoat Junction
and whatever else was on T.V. from 8-10 in the morning.

by the time I was in 4th or 5th grade,
my parents let me stay home and take care of my
brother instead of
taking him to the babysitters.

it was fun. unfortunately, however, we pigged out
on some of the worst foods AND
we were total couch potatoes because
my parents were afraid to let us play outside
while they were at work.
'didn't want us to get acosted by strangers or anything.

still, everytime i eat bacon,
I remember.
I remember the summertime.
strange association,but true.

4 minutes til the weekend!

what could I possibly blog about for the next 3 minutes
until I have to run down to the BART station and catch my train?
let's see...
I'm halfway through Harry Potter book 4.
I decided not to apply for this position in Oakland.
I'm currently in a state of complacency/anxiety
with my career.
I'm totally looking forward to this weekend,
cause me and the bf are gonna retreat
from the rest of the world and spend some
quality time.
Oh, btw, the bf posted a slide show of
our New York vacation on his site.
Check it out!

wow...one more minute to go.
well, I'd better just shut down this computer
before i miss my train.
more later....

recovering

'stayed home from work today. i caught a bug
which left me with a crazy head cold last night.
'stayed home today just to give my body a little
more recuperating time.

I'm feeling a little anxious.
I guess I've been sittin' on my duff for too long.
I need to be proactive and DO something.
Perhaps now is the time to sit
with my laptop in bed and apply for jobs.

Or perhaps I should just snuggle with my
Harry Potter Book 4 and finish the darned
thing already.
I bought it a year ago and I still haven't
gone through the whole thing.

Actually, one of my co-workers just let me
borrow this book that hasn't even been made
available to the public.
Elle Magazine chose her to do book
reviews for three soon-to-be released works.
I was so excited for her!
She doesn't know if her reviews will be published
but hell, what an opportunity!

The book that she let me borrow is a true
story from an Iranian woman, where she
talks about growing up in war-torn Iraq.
The first line of the book is already powerful.
I can't wait to get to the rest of it.

i wonder if many people who have lost a loved one
experience moments like mine.
I know my friend Cindy and her family do.
I've had some great chats with her and Auntie Glo about it,
one of which almost made me bawl my eyes out
cause it was so touching.
 
i was actually listening to the morning show on
Alice Radio on my drive to work.  They were featuring
an old halloween special where they had a clairevouyant
serving as an intermediary for loved ones
who passed away.
GAWD!  I cried all the way to freakin' work
cause this lady was just telling
people things that only their loved ones
on the "other side" would know.
 
i thought of auntie linda the whole time.
as tragic as her passing was,
there is a certain calm that i feel
when i think about her.
perhaps i have an easier time accepting her passing
because i'm not her daughter or husband.
however, i can't deny what i feel when i think of her.
instead of dwelling in her passing, i am motivated to move forward.
 
of course, the question remains: which direction do I go?
believe me, the answers have been wrapped up in too
many layers of analysis, worry and personal politics for far too long.
but the other day, i think auntie linda sent me a message
to help set me straight. 

last saturday morning, I was sitting in my kitchen
looking outside at our overgrown orange tree
with the cloudless, blue sky in the background.
something about that picture just made me feel good,
'made me think about the wonderful times I've been
having lately getting to know new friends and
spending more quality time with old ones that I don't see too often.
 
at one point in my thought process, i just knew.
it was all a gift from above. 

then, for reasons i can't explain, i had this sudden urge
to pay careful attention to
which Avril Lavigne song was playing on my CD player at that moment.
And that's when I bawled like crazy.
I knew for sure auntie linda was sending me her good vibes
from above.
 
In my heart, I knew it wasn't a coincidence that this was
the song i was hearing:
 
"Who Knows" - Avril Lavigne 
 
Why do you look so familiar
I could swear that I have seen your face before
I think I like that you seem sincere
I think I'd like to get to know you
a little bit more
 
Chorus
I think there's something more
life's worth living for
 
Who knows what could happen
Do what you do
Just keep on laughing
One thing's true
there's always a brand new day
I'm gonna live today like it's my last day
 
How do you always have an opinion
and how do you always find
the best way to compromise
We don't need to have a reason
We don't need anything we're just wasting time
 
(Chorus 2x)
 
Find yourself
'Cause I can't find you
Be yourself
Who are you?
Find yourself
'Cause I can't find you
Be yourself
Who are you?
 
(Chorus)
 
So you go and make it happen
Do your best
Just keep on laughing
I'm telling you
There's always a brand new day
 
(Chorus)


...thanks for always watching over me, auntie. I miss you.

12:46AM
 
lost
 
i am still in awe from our incredible evening with John Mayer.
haha...I WISH i could say we were spending some one-on-one time
shootin' the shit with him,
but as luck would have it, me and the bf had to share him with about
40,000 other people. 
Well, at least my trusty-dusty binoculars made me FEEL like he was
standing right in front of me
instead of 100 rows away.
 
Compared to the first time we saw him last year,
this time around, me and the bf agreed,
was definitely more of an "initimate" concert.
He talked to the crowd more, which I love.
'Makes me feel like there's a little more of an exchange
than just the 40,000 of us
peering at him like he was some museum exhibit.
 
i dug the whole thing.
Homeboy even wished us a "good weekend" on his way out.
wierd, but neat...'made me feel like I was there to watch
a friend perform.
 
as always, I am left in a pensive state.
John Mayer's song writing just "hits the spot" for me.
He has a poetic way of perfectly capturing the essence
of experiences, feelings that one can't help
but reflect
on things,
people,
instances.
 
aside from this, john mayer is an amazing musician.
wow...their "freestyle" segments on the guitar were...wow.
I don't even have words for it.
All I can say is, it was definitely another level of artistry that
i rarely get to experience.
 
so there we were, the bf and I,
just lost in all of it.
loving every minute,
letting the moment
guide us to
wherever we needed to be.
 
 
 
 
 

6:22pm

Wow..this is a new interface to blog on! 'Guess I have been absent for quite some time...as usual.

I'm currently in my little hole in the office with the BF sitting at the desk behind me. We are waiting for our friend who is treating us to FREE tickets to the Giant's baseball game tonight. He's running a little late, so we are killing time here in the office.

Man, it has been quite a whirlwind of a life since I last blogged. Check out my BF's site for a glimpse of what we've been up to. Especially check out his New York stuff. Man, I miss that place soooo much!

Currently, I am pooped. We had one of the longest July 4th weekends ever. It was fun, of course, but damn, I didn't know that hanging out with friends (new and old), eating and lazying around could be so tiring! I must just be in poor shape. Coming back to work was definitely a struggle and it doesn't help that I still have 5-7 piles of case files to process.

Anyhoo, I'm excited about the game tonight. My brother will be there, too, so it'll be nice to hang out and catch up with him. Oh, and we'll be on the club level of the stadium, so I'm gonna just have to indulge in the food, which is a far different variety than on the lower levels. It's a bit on the shi-shi side if you ask me, but man, I can never resist the strawberry shortcake, which they only sell on the club level.