and the universe replied...

my friend & co-worker, O, taught me about the
energy that is the universe. she taught me that
one of the ways to find answers to your
inner conflicts and confusions is to
release your needs, frustrations, joys, etc., to the universe.
And sure enough, it will respond in the way that you need it to.

last week, i released to the universe
my decision
to look for other job opportunities.

i love what I do, but not under the circumstances
that I do it in.
it is not that I am not down for the struggle of
this enormous task. The challenges are exciting.
However, i feel that i was set up for failure
even before I started this job,
and i continue to be in this predicament (along with my other co-workers)
because our practices continue to perpetuate
this rickety infrastructure.

Nevertheless, the universe responded...

- with an opportunity at my ex-co-worker's organization
- With another opportunity at my other ex-co-worker's organization
- with a potential opportunity in the new organization that my friend is now Executive Director of
- with an opportunity to reconnect with old friends and meet new ones at today's I-Hotel Grand Opening Ceremony

Right now, I just want to give thanks, sincere heartfelt thanks,
to the powers that be
for sending me the message that
I am not stuck...
For the message that there is a whole world of opportunities out there,
with more positive, healthy work environments
and other individuals who can postively affect my life and
foster my personal & professional development.

It was a message that I really needed to hear.

our youth center was featured in the paper again this past Monday.
and today, we received a letter from a prisoner who wrote to thank
us for all the positive work we have been doing through the center.
he heard about us from a friend and checked out our website.
both of these things help to ground me in the fact that working
for this place is an incredible privelege, despite the craziness
I experience on a daily basis.

the story in monday's paper is actually a 3-part series, which
will track the progress of the 3 young people who are participants of
our center. just reading this first part was inspiring, especially reading about Big D. This cat is so incredibly amazing at what he does.
He is a quiet leader, but most definitely one with solid integrity.
I learn so much from him.
He reminds me every day of the kind of advocate I need to be in order
to be effective in working with youth.
He truly is my teacher.

I'm so glad that I can still see these daily reminders
of the positive things that this center brings about
because I am so knee-deep in the daily grind, the daily stresses
and I forget.
I need to figure out a way to balance my perspective better, to keep
me grounded on what all of this is truly about.

I think I need to make it a point to have more solid
one-on-one conversation with the youth in center.
I have such a hard time doing this, because the bulk
of my work is administrative and I am always
racing against time to get things done.
Perhaps I should change my perspective, let go of
certain things, and welcome new ones.

I've been thinking about this a lot today...
about my goals with this challenge/journey.
what do I want to accomplish here before I go?
...I think i need to think about this a little more
and will write again soon.

til next time