11:34p

twilight run
feeling a little brain dead right now, but healthy.
I worked out right when I got home.
'changed quickly into my shorts, tank top and running shoes
and ran around the neighborhood
in the darkness for a good 15-20 minutes.

surprisingly, my run in the dark was quite peaceful.
I wasn't scared at all.
I simply let the streetlights guide me on my way.

I passed by a nice lady in her wheelchair at the nearby
shopping complex who yelled out, "good for you".
Somehow, those words had more meaning coming from her.
A sudden burst of energy ran through my body and
I was motivated to run another 26 miles
...thanks to her.

as i was nearing my street, I was greeted by
a beautiful crescent moon.
my mom would always tell me to dust off my pockets, purse...anything that holds money
whenever I see the moon this way.
apparently, it will bring good fortune.
silly me forgot to do it this time.
the beautiful crescent moon was fortune enough.

near the end of my run, it dawned on me
that I didn't have a chance to enjoy the beautiful, hot
San Francisco day at all
since I was stuck at my desk.
I decided to prolong my date with the night and
did my stretching outdoors -
right outside my house.

somehow i stopped regretting having missed my day in the sunshine.
With the beautiful, temperate weather still lingering in the air,
the darkness did just fine.

BELATED HAPPY BLOG-AVERSARY TO MY BLOG!!!!
First entry posted on 10/24/2002

7:11a

what the hell am I doing up?
yes, I am up.
this is unusual for me...for anyone, for that matter, to be up so freakin' early.
'couldn't sleep any more because our decrepit, old bed
left my lower back all twisted in knots.
it was sore like hell!
'figured I might as well get an early start on my day.

the ironic thing is, I was having the nicest dream about being in italy!
It was simply beautiful.
For some reason our spa flew all of us employees
to work and vacation at our Italian headquarters.
We don't really have an italian spa, but it was a nice touch to the dream.

Anyway, the nicest thing about it all was that
my cousin, Chi Chi, and her husband, Blake,
were vacationing with me!

That's it. No more interruptions in my dreams. I'm gonna look for a new bed today.

it's like riding your bike all day around the neighborhood with your best friend
thank goodness we weren't running on the schedule that
my bf planned the night before.
a kink in my bf's neck threw a wrench in all his planning.
luckily for us, it turned out to be one of the nicest days together.

poor bf....hahahaha...
he woke up with a stiff neck. it was his left side.
ironically, i kinked the same side of my neck two days earlier
from trying a PNF stretch.
It's this stretch that I always, always recommend to my clients
where you contract the muscle you are stretching for a few seconds
and then stretch it out.
Theoretically, you will release the tension more effectively when doing it this way.
Ironically for me, my stupid neck simply locked up.
ai yah!!!
Anyhow, my bf said I was contagious and blamed me unsuccessfully for his new "ailment".
hahahaha....silly rabbit! (...tricks are for kids!)

After using my massage skills to help ease the pain temporarily,
we both headed off to McDonald's for breakfast.
By this time it was already 10am and, according to his "schedule",
we were already 2 hours behind. hehehe.
After waiting almost 15 minutes to get our order (poor management I tell ya),
we sat down to our very unhealthy yet filling breakfast of O.J., egg bacon and cheese bagel,
big breakfast and hashbrowns. And as usual, my bf got 2 of those - hashbrowns that is.

We walked away ready to tackle our first stop: our neighborhood hardware store.
for months...I think it's actually been a year already...our faucet in our
first bathroom has been out of commission, since it leaked like crazy.
The whole shopping experience for our new faucet was quick and fun, plus
we got some of the best help around!
That's why I love this little hardware store in our neighborhood.
It's been here since I started living here back in 1975.
It's super personable...they take the time to make you feel like they really want you to succeed
in your home improvement products.
Heck, they even told us to call them if we get stuck in the middle of our installation process!
I actually did call them, too. They were so helpful even on the phone.

Happy with our purchase, we headed off to stop #2: Borders.
While the bf looked for his photography books,
I sat and read the new Michael Moore book, Dude, Where's My Country?.
I could not put the book down for the life of me!
It was hilarious, in-your-face critical, and a down-right great read.
I highly recommend it.
Since the bf didn't want to spend $75 on this photography book he
wanted, we opted instead to go to a cheaper option: the library.

I love our library.
It's probably one of the nicest in the Bay Area.
Of course, it used to be pretty ghetto when
I was growing up here, but it has improved immensely.
I tried to look for the Michael Moore book, but as expected
they were all checked out - all 18 copies!
I opted instead for one of Ralph Nader's most recent books,
Crashing the Party - How to Tell the Truth and Still Run for President.
I actually saw it on sale the other day in the city for $5 but decided to
save my $5 for dinner.
It's written very differently than Michael Moore's book, but
I like what Nader has to say. I actually voted for him in the 2000 election.
Although I knew he wouldn't win, I did it to support the Green Party...so that they
would break the two-party system that we currently have.
And on a random note: his sister was my Anthropology Professor back in college.

We finally ended my bf's book search at this store that sells books at half price.
Remember that $75 book that my bf wanted back at Borders?
Well, they were selling it at this half price bookstore for $15!!!!!
Holy Crap!
I told my bf that it's like finding something you like at a garage sale for $2.
Now he understands. hopefully, he'll stop bugging me about going to so many of those.

We finally came home and read our books for a little while.
We used the $10 gift certificate that was given to us by our local
pizza place and ordered a large ground beef, onion and tomato pizza.
Can you believe it only cost us $6?
Only problem is, they were so cheap with the toppings. I could literally count
on one hand the amount of stuff that was on our pizza other than the crust, cheese and sauce.

Nevertheless, it filled our tummies and we went on with our day.
By that time I couldn't believe it was only 1p.
We accomplished so much in such a short time.
The rest of the day:
- we made a make-shift studio in our family room and took portraits of me and my hands for his photography class project
- I installed our new bathroom faucet all by myself (well, ok, the bf helped too. he held the faucet in place while I secured it.) (i felt so empowered...hehehe)
- After installing the faucet, i proceeded to day dream about all the other improvements I could make to the house, i.e. installing laminate flooring in our living room and master bedroom
- I researched water softeners to install in our home

By the end of the day, the bf and i both fell asleep on the couch watching TV.
We were so pooped!
If it weren't for my bf's bear-like snoring, I wouldn't have woken up to
move to the bed.
but we did. and we slept. even though we smelled like the day.
just like when we were kids, riding our bikes all day around the neighborhood.

11:21a

ahhh...
'though my back and shoulders are numb from all the tension,
'though my wrists are probably in pre-carpal tunnel state,
'though my eyes are probably red from staring at a monitor all day long...
my tummy is feeling yummy
cause of the cup of organic herbal mint tea I am partaking in.

simple pleasures. 'gotta love 'em

9:17p

amor
instinctively, i ran to be by her side as she sobbed,
just like she has always done for me since 4th grade.
How could I not?
From day 1, she has been nothing but supportive,
caring, understanding, forgiving, patient...
damn, that girl has so much patience.
She let me grow from my mistakes even though they were hurtful,
and never turned her back.
So, OF COURSE it was natural for me to make my way to her side
of the crowd without question or pause.
That was my sister.

needless to say, it was difficult to watch her
and her siblings call for their mother as her coffin was
slowly lowered into the ground.
The very instant it was lowered, all of them wailed together
and reached out their hands to her.
Suddenly, they were kids again, afraid to be left alone.
I started to pray for them...it was all I could do to keep from feeling so helpless.

But then, I was awaken from this hopelessness by one thought:
"How lucky this woman was to be loved so dearly by her children".
She must have been some kind of miracle worker
balancing love with discipline with them.
I'm relieved to know that it can be done.

I felt honored to share in such an important moment
in my friend's life.
As sad of a moment as it was,
taking part in it was yet another confirmation
of how indelibly etched we are into each other's lives.

9:15a

obstacle course
so I haven't quite committed myself to pursuing a marathon just yet.
but reading Nico's latest entry and the article that went with it,
just got me thinking a lot this morning about all the amazing people
out there who are able to pursue
incredible physical feats.
I suppose it takes tons of motivation and focus.

It would be really nice to be able to challenge my body some.
I'm actually pretty curious to realize my physical potential.
To tell you the truth, I'm kind of scared to find out.
Pain isn't really something anyone wants to struggle through.

It's funny, 'never really thought or desired to be anything except
healthy with my body.
Come to think of it, 'Never really tried to be a pro at tennis, volleyball, softball, flag football,
or basketball when I was younger.
In fact, out of all those sports, the only one that I actually tried to be better in was tennis.

I was motivated by the fact that my friend, J, (and tennis partner at the time) decided to
play with another partner, A (who was also another close friend of mine), on our high school tennis team.
They were more of the same abilities, so of course it made sense to me.

But the timing of her news was not so good.
She told me after we had lost our first game ever in our 1.5 seasons playing together.
The loss itself was already disappointing, but
her news was quite the reality check.

Although I completely agreed with her decision, I cried anyway.
dumb, dumb, dumb...'guess the feeling of rejection was too overpowering,
even though my mind was being practical in accepting the change.

Anyhow, I worked twice as hard the rest of that season.
I don't think there was really any room for me to play doubles with another partner.
All the spots had already been filled.
I was ok with that, though, because i kinda wanted a hand at playing singles.

It was great. I stayed after practice an extra hour everyday to work on my serve.
And though I didn't become super power-hitter "slicing up" the court,
I definitely improved my power and accuracy.
And apparently, I was pretty good on the court too. My coach
told me once that the coach from the opposing team we were playing
had told her that I did very well at covering the court. Naks! ;)

The really nice thing too was that my friend, A, would stay after with me sometimes to help. She was so
supportive of me. My favorite memory of those times was when
she would root me on (sometimes she would be the only one on the side line)
screaming her lungs out.
Man, that's love.

I guess there is hope for me then.
If I could improve on my abilities back in the day,
I guess it's not too late to try again.

Man, I miss those days in tennis.
I had such a blast with my teammates.
And you know, we even got this special certificate
because our team had an average gpa of 3.8!!!!
Ahhh...the little things.

fried rice with nicotene
isn't it awful when people just don't think?
I was sitting there, outdoors, on a beautiful San Francisco day,
enjoying my fried rice and egg roll
when a lady sits at the table next to me
and begins to puff her cancer stick
....right there...amidst the 10 or so tables
of people enjoying their noon-time meal.

how insensitive I tell you! Just plain IGNORANT!

hello???
'ever heard of second hand smoke, lady?
thanks a lot for failing to think of others' lungs and lifespans
just so you could satisfy your craving by taking a hit of your
damn cancer stick!

don't get me wrong. I'm a firm believer in
the whole "live and let live" idea.
but dammit, when you risk my life in addition to yours,
that's where i draw the line.

hope she enjoyed her nicotene-tasting Chinese food.

it's as if fate was listening
believe it or not, I'm run/walking in my first marathon.
it's only a 5k, but a "marathon" nonetheless.
I'm pretty excited about it.
my friends just talked me into signing up yesterday.
I now only have 2 weeks to raise $250.

I'm happy to be participating for so many reasons.
First, my teammates and I will be running to raise funds for
My Sister's House-- "the first and only agency to specifically serve the needs of Asian and
Pacific Islander women and children impacted by domestic violence in
Sacramento".
While I have never been affected by DV,
I understand how taboo it is to speak of domestic violence in
the API culture. It's not something that is
seriously addressed or understood.

I remember when I visited the PI's at 9 years old.
We were in my mom's province, Bicol area, outdoors during a religious festival.
All of a sudden, from nowhere I saw this man chasing after
a woman, ready to hit her with a heavy board.
The woman was terrified and screaming.
ANd the saddest part was that there were tons of people around,
looking outside their windows and doors.
Yet no one was brave enough to help the woman.

Perhaps the saddest thing about D.V. is the root of its existence:
stereotypical views of women, which is deeply ingrained in
and perpetuated by our different cultures.
This is my own understanding, of course, but i'm sure it is not far from the truth.

Anyhow, as I mentioned, I'll be running with a team of people -
some of my closest friends - so that's definitely a plus.
later on in the evening we'll be doing yet another "marathon"
...we'll be watching as many episodes as we can of the Sex & the City series.

Well, with only a couple of weeks away, I figure I should probably get in
some workouts. I kinda want to run it, but since most of my friends are
walking, it'll be kinda nice to be with them the whole way.
Maybe we could agree to do a combination of running one mile, then
walking another, etc.
That's what I'm used to anyway when I run/walk around my neighborhood.

The funny thing is, that same day that I signed up,
I got yet another e-mail about another marathon.
A friend of mine who lives in Virginia will be running a real 26.2-mile
marathon in memory of her mother who died of a brain tumor.
She will be raising funds for an organization who does research on the disease.

I almost cried when I read her e-mail.
It was such a heartfelt message.
And her e-mail started out with,
"If you are receiving this email you have made your mark on my life in
a meaningful way. I'd like to share a little bit about the woman
who left the most indelible one of all..."
GAWD! If I wasn't at work, I swear I would've bawled my eyes out.

Anyhow, it's kinda funny how all of these ideas I've had in my head
about running a marathon
have pretty much manifested themselves in these events.
I guess I should really start thinking about this more seriously.
We'll see...

Til Next time.

P.S. As I mentioned earlier, me and my 2 other friends have a goal to raise a minimum of $250 for the organization we are run/walking for on November 2nd. If you would like to contribute any amount at all, please drop me a tag in my tagboard or a comment below. Thanks so much!

3:29p

I can shake my head all day long in disbelief
it's day 2 since J told me and i still cannot fathom what happened to
her mother.
J is one of my best friends from elementary school.
We've known eachother for well over 20 years and
I've come to know her family as well.

J's mom passed away last monday.
She went into the hospital for a simple by-pass surgery.
Only one of her arteries was blocked.
Unfortunately, her doctors by-passed the wrong artery
and when they went in to fix it, J's mother's heart
was too weak to maintain normal blood pressure.

She passed away because these idiots
weren't paying attention. They weren't doing what they are paid the big bucks to do.
Sure, I see it on E.R. all the time how doctors make mistakes.
But dammit, it's never just when it's a mistake like this.

J's mom was the center of her family.
She was vibrant, strong and energetic.
There was absolutely no reason in the world
why she couldn't recover from this.
But her chances were literally shut down when the doctors left her
with a recovering bypassed artery that was perfectly healthy in the first place
AND
a blocked artery that was still intact.
I can only imagine the extraordinary feeling of frustration and
anger that is going through her family's hearts.

If you are reading out there, kindly send them your prayers
and good vibes. And please put a good one in for their mother,
AMOR ROBILLO.
Because of her, I got to grow up with and be taken care of by
one of the best friends in the world
whom she raised to be just like her.

block party
last night my bf and I went to his cousin's town house to hang out.
all i really expected was to just kick back
and catch up, especially since his other cousin,
who just moved back from the midwest,
was going to be there.

how strange it was to find that some rich dude
on the other section of his complex
held this block party complete with...get this:
36 gallons of Baskin Robbins ice cream,
a gazillion boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts,
10 coolers full of soda, beer, water,
15 or so tall cocktail tables for folks to kick back at,
access to the pool/hot tub area of the complex,
a d.j.
AND a live band!!!!
somebody had the paper for this gig!

the nice thing was that the host opened up the party to
the entire townhouse complex.
so, the 5 of us indulged on ice cream, lolipops,
bottles of h2o and a little time on the dance floor.

no more sweat lodge
i'm surprised that i was able to last through that evening,
since me and the bf's day was consumed with
cleaning up the front yard and our hideous garage.

for months our garage walls, ceilings
and everything in between has become
infested with...no, not spiders and cobwebs...
CLOTHES LINT!
Strange, but true.
The "exhaust pipe" to our dryer was punctured
some 10 or so months ago,
so all of the heat and lint that
comes out of the dryer has turned our garage into
a little sweat lodge complete with disgusting "insulation",
which drapes over everything and looks like thick, icky cobwebs.

the sad thing was, if we had checked the stupid pipe
earlier than say, 12 months later, we would've
found that the pipe was simply dislodged from the damn dryer!
(I don't think I'm ready to be a homeowner...ever.)

good morning!
'got up around 10:30a...was awakened by the phone.
my girfriend, R, needed help finding cheap parking locations in the city.
after hanging up, I rolled over in bed and unsuccessfully tried to
start a conversation with the bf.
too bad SOMEONE needed more shut eye.
hmmm...'wonder if he's just trying to avoid our garage-cleaning
date for today.

I'm just happy that my arms and hands aren't sore from my
massage sessions with good friends last night.
I don't think I was paying enough attention to my body mechanics
since I was so focused on working out all of the tension
in their bodies. I was so determined!

Anyway, our conversation afterwards got me thinking more
and more about running in a marathon.
I was actually inspired earlier this week from one of my
massage clients at the spa.
She is part of "Team in Training" to run the breast cancer
marathon in Chicago this weekend.
I was all excited when she told me that once you sign up,
they guarantee that you will finish the race no matter
where you are in the athletic ability spectrum.

I thought about the significance of the whole thing.
Seriously, why the hell would I want to subject myself to
something so physically demanding????
Somehow, though, it made sense.
In spite of my current non-athletic state,
I love playing sports.
I was on all kinds of sports teams in elementary, jr. high and high school.
I KNOW my body will remember how to move like an athlete.
I just have to re-train it.

Besides, I've secretly been feeling this need to accomplish
a physical feat. For years I've tried to lose weight and exercise,
only to be beaten down by own lack of will-power and discipline.
Perhaps the training part of the marathon will enable me to
finally LEARN those values.

Most importantly, I need to use it before I lose it...
my body, that is.
I've always felt ashamed that, as a generally healthy person,
I don't maintain/improve upon my physical abilities
when so many people out there can't.
At least this time, along with accomplishing something for myself,
I can use my physical abilities in support of others.

wow...this all seems fine and dandy in my head.
trust me, it always does.
At least I'm motivated again to do something healthy with my body
and my spirit.
Inspiration is priceless!

Liz C. on Saturday Night Live
the season premier of SNL was on last weekend.
I taped the show cause John Mayer was performing.
And who did me and the bf ALSO catch on tape?
LIZ!!
HELLOOOO!!! we had to rewind the tape at least 5 times
to see if that was really her.
And it was!

She was in the background for one of the skits.
Me and the bf were trippin' for a good hour after seeing her.
Hopefully our aspiring actress friend will become a working actress
in New York sooner than later.
Good luck, Liz!

Lunch break ramblings
just finished eating my mongo and rice
cooked by yours truly and reading through people's blogs.
'made me reflect on what's been going on with me lately...

it's been sort of a wierd 3 weeks.
'haven't been blogging regularly,
'haven't been working out regularly...
it's been kinda ho hum in my little corner of existence.
well, not completely - just with the direction of things.

'been thinking about asserting some career decisions,
but I'm still waiting things out.
I'm trying to figure out how to contribute to the solution
of things before making a move.
'feeling very stagnant right now as a result, though.

otherwise, i'm ok.
it's nice to be able to just live.
do what i want, when i want.
'don't have many time restrictions except for work.

're-connected with my ex-co-workers on Wednesday night
over some wine, butternut squash lasagne and almond torte
for dessert.
Once again, our conversations inspired me
and brought a little more life into
the stagnant social justice activist in me.

'also hear word from the blood tests I took for
my yearly physical.
Technically, all is well.
I should lose a few pounds and eat healthier, but
other than that, I'm ok.

Too bad lab tests couldn't tell you the state of your muscles
cause I know the majority of mine are all twisted up in knots.
hehehe...could you imagine if lab tests could tell that?
Maybe then massage could be paid for by insurance and
massage can finally be seen as a necessity rather than a luxury.

dammit, i could sure use a massage right now!

'been also sticking to my budget more closely.
'only went over by $5 on one of my line items this week.
that's most definitely an improvement considering that I usually
overspend by a hundred a week!

uh oh...i'm craving a pepsi. 'better head to the store before my
hour lunch is over.

til next time...

5:33p

I can't believe my ass is still here sitting at my chair at work.
speaking of which, things have definitely gotten better
with my challenges here.
I feel like I'm in a better groove with my workload especially.
I'm using that MS Outlook like its my lungs now.

Once again, i didn't take my hour break for lunch.
I dunno what's gotten into me.
'must not be getting enough endorphins circulating through my
veins cause I'm usually ready by 10a to have lunch!

Anyhow, 'better head off now.
Gotta go pick up some bread and soda
for my monthly dinner with my ex-co-workers.
I can't wait to have some of my friend's yummy butternut squash'
lasagne!

til later...

jelllooo
feeling like a blob.
been consuming too much carbs again.
damn that fresh-baked french loaf at Albertson's!
why does it have to taste so good with
olive oil, balsamic vinegar and garlic?
curses!

worked two days without taking a lunch break.
bad news.
I really need to get out of that habit.
I know my body needs a break from it.

At least I finally got a client at the spa tonight.
It's been 4 weeks!
Thankfully, this client was one of the good people.
It's what makes massage therapy so rewarding.
Also got a chance to shoot the shit with my colleagues.
It's been sooooo long since I've talked with them.
I realize that connecting with them helps make
that space become more like home.

helllooooo!
not sure how to begin this blog except...halleluah, I'm back!
I'm currently waiting for my bf to come home from his dinner
with his photography friends.
I went to the gym and got back just a little while ago..around 11p.
of course, it took me 2 hours of lollygagging in front of the TV
before I finally my ass off of the couch and into my car
to make my way to the lovely EFX machine and treadmill.

I hate it when i get sucked in to shows!
This time it was "Camp Jim" & "True Life - Urban Cheerleaders" on MTV,
some special on Whitney Houston & a show about single female celebs
on VH1 with frequent channel changes to The Food Network for
this special on SPAM....amazing the things that intrigue me!

some wonderful things
this week was actually a pretty darned good one.
it started off with sat....
'got a last minute call from Bob telling me that El had to cancel
her session with me.
It was totally cool...even though I wondered what happened.
Did they have a fight?
Was there some kind of drama going on?

Little did I know that the woman was in the first stages of labor!
yes, L-A-B-O-R!!!

Sure enough, little Ryan popped out the following Monday.
GAWD! Just check out his pics (and bob's blog)...i swear, it gets me so veklempt!...
and Lu's version of events.
CONGRATS MAMA EL & PAPA BOB!!!!
WELCOME TO THE WORLD, LITTLE RYAN!!!

The rest of that Saturday turned out just as great.
Me and the bf headed out to Marin Headlands so he could take pictures.
It's been a while since he's been out shooting and this
was the perfect day to do it.

In fact, it was a perfect day for a wedding at the beach.
No, we didn't have one, but this other lovely couple
were in the middle of their ceremony just as we pulled up
in my bf's car.
Of course, highly excitable me tried to get as close to the ceremony as possible.
It was a Mexican/Spanish themed affair...
all the guests had mariachi's,
the groom wore a long sleeve Guyaverra (looks like a barong, but thicker),
the groomsmen wore short sleeved dark green Guyaverra's,
and the bridesmaids wore traditional mexican dresses with red shawls.

We also made our way farther south on the beach this time
and were amazed to find some of the most beautiful things around.
We saw one of the most amazing sunsets while standing on top of
a beautiful rock on the beach.
To our surprise, this rock was inhabited by HUNDREDS of mussels,
a few sea sponges and a couple of star fish.
Seriously, if I had a bucket, me and the bf could've fixed ourselves
some seafood paella that night!
Instead, we headed to Pluto's on Scott Street in the Marina and pigged
out on huge salads, stuffing, sauteed mushrooms, a turkey sandwich and
garlic fries.
yum.
'twas a very unplanned yet amazing day. ;)

this week
it started off with a call from my girl, R, on Friday at 4p.
R: "Girlfriend, guess who I saw in the Us Weekly magazine on page 30?"
Me: "Who?"
R: "LEN " (our friend the creator/director of "Underworld")

...so what was my mission for the remainder of that Friday evening?
Yup, you guessed it.
One grocery store, two major book stores and a magazine rack at Target later
led me to a copy of the damn magazine.
And since it was an old issue, I grabbed a few extra for some of my girlfriends, just in case.

Um, hello?
The boy who taught me how to peg my pants back in 7th grade
is NO boy any longer!!!
Plus, his oh so stylish mullet from back in the day
was finally laid to rest.
blessings! blessings!
He and Kate Beckinsale are just wayyy too beautiful a couple.

That was friday.

Sunday was even better.
'crashed one of my oldest girlfriend's wedding at this Walnut Creek
golf course.
Oh...it was perfect! simply beautiful!
and even better, I got to play with my other girfriend's (J) daughters.
I hope i get to see them grow up.
they remind me so much of J when we were growing up.

And the best part of all,
I got to spend the day with Cyn, my party-crasher partner.
And last minute at that!
As much as I whine about living in the burbs sometimes,
nothing beats moving back in the house I grew up in
with the same close friends of mine
living just minutes away.
And this time, I can actually go out and see them any time I want -
not like when I was younger (since my parents were so strict about me
going out).
Once I get this itch to live outside of California scratched,
i can see myself settling here, in this same neighborhood I grew up in,
with my own family.