2:25p

ode to life in 2002
first, can i just say that it is beautiful outside!
as much as it is "neat" to be inside on a rainy day, wrapped up in a blanket, etc.
nothing beats good old sunshine.

so I decided to celebrate the last day of 2002 by taking a walk outside
after my breakfast.
besides, I didn't really have a healthy meal (lechon and fried vegetable lumpia), so I
figure I owe it to my body to get out there and get my blood pumping some.

the walk gave me a chance to think some...
'reflect on this past year.
when i was younger, I actually would do the same thing, only I would write it in my diary
an hour or so before midnight.

so I thought...
one year ago, I was unemployed...and I still am.
one year ago, I was embarking on a brand new adventure with the whole massage thing....now I've got a job at a new spa
and met soo many incredible, down-to-earth and amazing clients and therapists...
I am now a part of another unique and grounding community.

this past year has been filled with so many other cool beginnings
'like my "reunion" with my cousin in London - we rarely EVER kept in touch before. now, she knows what goes on in my daily life
via this blog (which she inspired me to start) and vice versa....and we are even able to communicate via AIM almost everyday! (sometimes 2 hours at a time!)
'also "reunited" with my cousins from L.A. who stayed with us over this past week.
Now, I have a new set of family and little cousins to connect with.
I'm excited to visit them now when I am in L.A.
I can't wait to be able to take my little cousins out and spend time with them.
In fact, I think I will make it a point to visit them at least once or twice a year....I swear, they will grow up faster than you know it!

I also got 3 new "nephews" this year from all my friends having babies.
yeah!!! 'can't wait til they can finally eat solid foods so that I
can FEED THEM!!!! cooking will take on a completely different meaning for me.

hmm...this year I also got to reconnect with an old friend who I went to elementary, jr. high and high school with.
we lost touch for 10 years and now...I'm getting an invitation to his wedding.

The best thing i think I got this year was "time".
I had so much of it!
I can remember all the times I was at work wishing for more time
to work out more often,
to take care of my stuff,
to travel,
to vegetate....

I learned that it is just as hard to manage time when you have it than when you don't.
When you have too much of it, sometimes you get lazy and just don't want to do anything
because you know there is still lots of time left.
That was a challenge for me during these last few months of this year.
I already had a job that I would be working in soon...so I didn't really need to continue my job search or work temp jobs.
I had to continue being frugal with my money since my unemployment checks would end soon....so i didn't really go out and do stuff.
Hence, laziness set in.

nevertheless, I was pretty stress-free this year.
This is probably why I didnt' get sick (the flu) at all!
'Had a couple of head colds here and there, but nothing major.
I think I may have lost a couple of brain cells, though, from
all the lazying around.
Anyhow, it's amazing to experience no stress.
'helped me to gain more perspective on stuff...

in particular, my priorities in life...
boy, has that changed a lot!
I'm all about "balance" now.
I swear, if I can make it happen, I don't want to have a 9-5 job.
I now want to travel and see how people live in other parts of the world.
I want to try different things, meet new people and continue on exploring,
because I've come to realize:
I'm not done yet
I'm not done yet
I'm not done yet
period!

this year, my bf and I also celebrated 10 years together.
though we can be considered "an old couple",
our experiences together are definitely far from being old and boring.
both of our individual journeys in massage (for me) and photography (for him)
have opened up the world to us in so many ways.
I understand now how people can stay together for 30, 40, 50+ years
because we've learned so much from eachother through these individual journeys/passions.
what more could I ask for than my bf to share life with?
'cause life experiences are really meant to be shared.
(hence, the reason for this blog too, I guess? )

in any case, I consider 2002 one of the best years of my life. and I'm glad i was able to
capture some of it via this little corner of the internet.
now if I could just figure out what the hell to do tonight to celebrate.

oh and P.S.
thanks to the people who read my stuff (whoever you are out there)...
although this space is more for me than for you, thank you
for being respectful of my space and also
for sharing your feedback respectfully.
it's a big risk for anyone to make their blog accessible to the public,
but it's also been cool to be a part of yet another community of good folks.

peace, love, and lumpia grease to you ALL in 2003!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

12:40a

just when you think life couldn't get any better
you know when you get the opportunity to create a special bond with people?
those times when you are given a stretch of time to share in
a project,
a work environment,
a social gathering,
a family vacation, etc.
...with a group of people you barely know
...and come out of the experience with new connections (and if you're lucky, unbreakable bonds)???

it's amazing how we can have thousands of those experiences in our lifetime,
whether we realize it or not,
whether we remember those moments or not,
...just as long as we leave ourselves open to it.

my little cousin expressed this best tonight when he lay in bed crying,
sad to go and end his visit with us (their plane leaves today at 7a),,,
it was really cute and touching.
at 6 years old, it was refreshing to see him honestly
display the very same feelings that the rest of us also felt.

though it was sad to see him crying,
it filled my heart to know that this experience was as meaningful to this little 6 year old,
as it was for me.

12:58a

hmmm...
'finished watching Sound of Music.
'finished watching Jumanji.
'been looking up stuff to do for New Year's on-line.
'Still can't figure it out.
will keep thinking about it, but so far, I think I wanna stay in this year,
even though I've been wanting to go out dancing for a change.

I think I'm pretty much partied out...'been to a party every weekend this month!
but i still wanna do something different and fun...don't really wanna sit and watch TV all night.
my bf suggested playing PS2 games all night.
it's definitely a thought.

will keep thinking.....

in the meantime, mr. sandman calls.
goodnight!

7:17p

buzz buzz buzz
...that's the sound I hear in my head when I think about what to write in
today's entry.
lots of stuff went on last night at the two parties
I went to.
I had a nice time at both and had an opportunity
to be with friends and family again.

In spite of the gluttonous meals and crazy shopping frenzy,
I realized last night that I genuinely love the holidays.
Mostly because i get the chance to see family and friends.
And this year, I got to see certain friends literally every weekend this month.
I think I've also seen my boyfriend's family a lot, too...and we barely EVER see eachother.

It's nice to be at that comfort level with friends, too.
I got to experience that again last night while i was watching porn with some of
my girlfriends at my friend's b-day party.
hehehe....it's kinda wierd but fun at the same time because of all the crazy commentary we make.
Of course, the porn gets old after a few minutes...we get bored.
But we watched it for an entire hour last night only because our gracious hostess paid for it on Pay Per View.

Being with my friends at these parties makes me feel like a kid, even with
their kids around.
When i arrive to these things, i just wanna play, play, play.
In fact, last night, we had such a good time that I didn't get home until 3 am.
Luckily, my best friend was with me.

Ooo...will enter more stuff later. 'just found out that The Sound Of Music is on right now....

3:45p

passing time
I should probably go and workout right now, but
I've only got 15 minutes til I have to start getting ready
for the 2 parties tonight.

'just finished reading my cousin's blog and found
that she and her husband had a chance to use the massage gift certificates we got them
for their wedding gift. yeah!!!

I'm really in need of one myself right now.
I could use a good deep tissue massage in my upper back and
shoulders for sure!
oh....i just have to imagine it for now until I can afford one for myself.
hmm.. maybe I'll call my friend and do a trade sometime soon.

made my day
ran some errands with my boyfriend this morning.
it was nice to spend some quality time with him,
cause staying home alone is getting really old these days.
I would rather be in his company.

We had a nice little breakfast:
'shared a bagel dog and sesame bagel w/ sun dried tomato cream cheese
from Noah's
and sipped on some more peppermint hot chocolate (for me) and white chocolate mocha (for him)
from StarFUCKs.

We reminisced about good times back in college. Namely....
- our caravan trip to San Diego in '94
- our first PASS high school outreaches to southern California ( I LOVE PASS!)
- swimming at La Jolla beach during our San Diego trip
- cracking up in the back of Tyne's car while she and Elw imitated their parents...complete w/ Pilipino accents.

hmm....made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

and the parties never end
afterwards, I headed on over to my cousin's place to give her something she
needed for her party tonight.
I stayed for a little while to help put up lights for the "dancing area".
I'll be going there later tonight, but only for a little while.

I've got another party to go to.
It's a "Putt-n-Porn" party.
It's a 32nd b-day party for my friend, and they will have a bunch of golf-related games and...
porn to watch. hehehe.
Long story....but nevertheless, there really willbe porn!

Actually, the evite for the party was HILARIOUS! Here's what it said:

ATTENTION ALL GOLF PLAYERS, SPECTATORS, AND EVEN HATERS! In celebration of "M's" 32nd birthday, we are inviting you to a golf party in our home. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can't get enough of golf this party is for you. You can talk, walk, and breath golf all you want without the fear of being rejected by non-golf lovers. You can even practice putting and chipping with a chance to win some prizes.

For you non-golf lovers out there, we know what you're thinking, "oh God, I've had enough of golf! It's all I ever hear from (fill in the name)_____. I need a freakin' break!" Don't fret! We've got some good ol' porn videos for your viewing pleasure. Many of you are in committed relationships or simply dating, why not catch up on the latest positions and techniques? You can introduce your new found skills to your partner when you return home from the party.

And of course, if neither golf or porn interests you, we've got food and drinks to quench your thirst and hunger. Don't get mad though if you find yourself by yourself in a little corner. Most of our friends are fans of golf and/or appreciate the thought-evoking, heart-string-pulling dialogue of porn videos.

Note: A special prize is reserved for that someone who can bring a golf related porn video. Do you guys think one of them will be called FORE-PLAY?

Hope you can all make it!



I swear, I almost died of laughter after reading this!!!!!

more time with the cousins
yesterday, my parents took my cousins around San Francisco to do some site-seeing.
afterwards, they came over to our house for dinner.
My little cousins and I played some DDR and then
after dinner,
they played hide-and-go-seek around the house.

It's great to see how well they can get along..
and make use of their time in a new place.
They were so comfortable running around our house.
'Made me feel good that they could do that.

My aunt was having some problems with her neck,
so of course I set up my massage table and helped her alleviate her
tension.

I felt good that I could help out a little.
My aunt and uncle work so hard to raise their 3 children.
They don't even have a sitter!
Instead, they've adjusted their work schedules so that
at least one of them is around to take care of the kids.

Unfortunately, this means they have less time for eachother.
Wow, I dunno if i could do that.
But they sacrifice sooo much!
Just then, I remembered that my mom still hadn't used the gift certificates I got her from Watercourse Way.
I got her 2 gift certificates for 1 hour private hot tub.
Unfortunately, she can't use them cause it's kinda bad for her health.
So, we both decided to let Tito and Tita use it instead!

I already made an appointment for them on Monday.
I also made a massage appointment for my mom, since she's been such a gracious host
to them, even with her bad cold.

While all three of them are at the spa,
I'm gonna take my cousins to the mall to walk around, since
the oldest requested to go.

monday is their last day staying with us,
so I hope it's a nice way to end their trip.

uh oh, 'better start getting ready.
I hope this storm lets up for the rest of the night.
It was pouring earlier!

til next time...

12:31a

and then there's the other side
"it doesn't really matter why you want to have kids,
it's how you take care of /raisethem that matters"

hmm... i heard that somewhere. I can't remember where. but I remembered it while
I was typing in my last entry.
'not quite sure how to digest that one just yet.
Although..I definitely agree with the last part of that sentence...
in some ways it actually negates the first part of the sentence/ invalidates it.
so I guess it does make sense.
however, i think it is still important to think critically when
deciding on having children.
we owe it to them to think outside of the box
and have a realistic understanding of the why's and how's involved.

and i saw myself!
lately I've begun to notice how the older I get, the more I regress into my childhood.
I was reminded of this while playing football with my cousins tonight in my parent's
garage. It was already 10p, so we couldn't exactly play outside.
They youngest, who is 6, threw the ball and teased "ha ha you can't catch!"...and made an ugly face
while sticking out his tongue.
My mom, dad and I just died of laughter.
And I just thought to myself, "hey! I just did that to my bf a few days ago!"
hehehe...boy was I taken aback!

it has been very grounding to spend time with my cousins.
even my parents are in a different, happier, lighter mood.
they are so into entertaining them and making sure they are taken care of.
I guess they miss doing that since my brother and I are old geezers now
and live on our own.
There's no more children to keep them company in their big old house.

It is times like this when I wish they had grandchildren to dote on and love.
It is times like this when I wish I could deliver on the grandchildren part of that sentence.
...because my parents have been so good to me
...and because i know it would make them soo happy.
It would be the ultimate reward for all of their struggles in raising my brother and i.

and then reality hits,
and I remember and realize that children are not prizes to be won.
they are not meant to be brought into this world just for the sake of
ending someone's loneliness.
they are not for us to have, but rather for us to take care of and guide.

I know this much, but....
I still dunno the answer to the question: "why have kids?"

3:29p

those "International Coffee" moments
'been spending some time this morning cleaning up the house.
believe it or not, there are still things to clean up from the party 5 days ago!

I was reminiscing some more about that night.
it's always a challenge as a host to get a chance to have a solid conversation with your guests,
especially when there are many guests (try 50), dishes to wash and replace, the doorbell and phone to answer,
guests to say goodbye to when they leave, etc. etc. etc.
Nevertheless, those conversations are what I look forward to.
And I've made more of a conscious effort over the years to make those opportunities possible.
In fact, I think this year, I am more at ease with this and can even multitask with washing dishes and
having a good conversation with friends.

One conversation I remember at the party was one around 3:30/4am.
There was just 3 of us...and we got to talking about having kids.
It was really a refreshing talk because all three of us were on the same page about it...
something I don't always expect when it comes to this subject.
We all questioned it...something I wonder if people do before they have kids.

Speaking for myself, I'm still not convinced/still haven't found an answer to the
question: "Why have children?"
It's not that I am against it, nor do I think that children are bad.
i probably will have kids someday. Plus,
I love kids and even believe that it is everyone's responsibility to ensure their positive development:
"It takes a village to raise a child"
...I truly believe in and practice this.

But sometimes I have my questions and doubts.
i.e. why bring a child into this world
...when there are currently millions of children who are neglected, abused, or have no parents/guardians to care for them?
...when the earth is already overpopulated and resources depleted?

There are so many parents out there who have children for the sake of tradition...going with the flow...or
plain and simply b/c of ego.
'Don't think critically about having a family.
'Raise their children to be racist, homophobic, sexist, close-minded, etc....simply with their subtle comments and behaviors.
(kids "model" our behaviors/actions more easily than follow what we say)
It's sad, because even though children are the most beautiful beings in this world, we continue to produce them and
raise them into people like us.
Thus, the cycle of homophobia, racism, sexism, age-ism, etc. continues.

Of course, there are the few that do not subscribe to those things.
But again, they are but a few.
The rest of us continue on enjoying the fruits of capitalism, never thinking outside of the box
or stepping outside of our comfort zones.
Thus, never creating change/revolution, or get in the way of it.

This of course is not to say that there isn't change.
I know we live in a better place than we did 50 years ago.
But, there is this other side of life that happens.
we can't ignore it.

So that conversation with my 2 friends was a good one.
One friend was open-minded enough to consider adopting vs. having her own child.
The other friend expressed her desire to do many things in life.
She didn't feel any pressure to have children right away.

I'm thankful that I can be in the company of folks who are able to
look at life critically..
who don't just go with the flow.
who define life in their own way without getting caught up in tradition or meeting the status quo.
hmm...I think I'll re-publish my poem again.
'kinda explains further where I'm coming from.
------------------------------------------------------------------
"DISGRUNTLED" - by me/completed 10/6/02


over and over it plays in my head-
words of ignorance, ideas so neatly packaged in a tightly sealed box
no room for change
no room for other perspectives,
it is what kills humanity.


How long will we be blinded by
* the "American Dream"
* traditional practices evolved from colonization
* mainstream concepts of marriage
* society's definition of beauty
* the pain we feel from another's stabbing words
* or the complacency we live
from never leaving our comfort zones?


I struggle to find hope
in the revolution of thoughts
the evolution of souls
the transformation of life
from formulaic recipes
to a movement seeking TRUTH.


I struggle to live out my truths
as I continuously stand corrected
by the sea of experts
who claim to know
* what I should do
* who I should be
* where I should be
* when I should be where I should be
* why I should believe without
thinking,
criticizing,
investigating,
picking apart,
adding,
deleting,
digging
...deep enough


over and over it plays in my head:


words of ignorance
ideas so neatly packaged in a tightly sealed box
...killing humanity


I struggle to
revolve
evolve
transform
live out my truth


to quell the things that
leave me disgruntled
in this journey,
this movement to find TRUTH.

11:25a

connecting with family
woke up late again today.
seems like ever since I switched to a different pillow, my
sleep has gotten better and deeper too.

came home around 11 last night from my parent's house.
finally got to see Tita Doris, Dara, Jason, Jessica, and Tito Ramon.
Tita D is my mom's first cousin.

Hey Chi, If you're reading this...DARA is soooo tall now!
She's so cute and very confident, yet very down-to-earth and polite.
She can only understand a little bit of Tagalog now, though, and she can no longer speak it.
Darn! You should have seen her when she was little.
She spoke perfect Tagalog!

Anyhow, Dara also plays basketball and both her and Jessica have talent agents!
Apparently some talent scout saw Jessica in a department store and
told Tita Doris that she should get her into commercials.
She really is a cutie. Defnitely an Albis.
Also, is a typical middle child. she's the quietest.
But, maybe that's because she hasn't completely warmed up to us yet.
She's really very friendly though and very mature for her age.
She's even watched Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets twice! Lucky girl.

Jason is 6...he's so malikot but very cute.
he cracked me up when all of a sudden he asked
my dad where the phone was.
'said he wanted to call his friend. we were like, "you're girlfriend?"
poor kid blushed. hehe!

I gave him my cell phone instead since I figured he'd be making a long distance
call to L.A., which he did.
and he took my phone, walked up to the staircase and just
sat there, casually talking to his friend.
I was dying of laughter! i didn't know 6 year olds could be doing telebabad already! hehe!

Then, when my dad fell asleep on the couch in the living room,
we told Jason to go wake him up, which he did.
We all looked on in laughter.
I was like, "You said you wanted grandkids, dad. There you go!"
My dad is always hinting about how he wants grandchildren already.


Crab Feast and gifts
We opened gifts after pigging out on crab.
Tito apparently LOVED it. He kept repeating how good it was
like 20 times. 'cracked me up.
We were joking that he better take a walk or something before he
went to sleep.
Otherwise, he might get bangungut (sp?).
"Good night! Don't let the crabs bite", we told him. hehe.

My brother got
my dad - an MP3 player...which my dad could not figure out how to work. and when my brother tried to show him, he kept falling asleep!
my mom - a fish tank starter kit....apparently my parents had not been taking care of their now deceased fish properly. my brother did lots of research and will now be teaching my parents the right way.
me and my bf - Giants jerseys with a 2002 World Series patch....it was soooo cool! I got a black one and my bf got a cream one.
I swear, my brother is so thoughtful!

My mom got all of us gift cards for the Gap.
She also gave my bf and I a broom and mop for our Pergo floor and some cool cooking utensils.

My bf and I got
my dad - 2 DVD's: Lord of the Rings and Blackhawk Down and an earphone for his cellphone....cause he's always talking on the phone when he's driving
my mom - a hip looking sweat suit, and 2 heat packs for her eyes and neck...she's always getting headaches
my brother - a shiatsu massager and a heat pack for his neck...he's always getting headaches, too and neck pains.

Oh and I got my bf a cool scrap book for when he creates his photography portfolio.

scared of Chandler
after the festivities, my bf and I drove home. My brother stayed with us
since there was no more room in my parents' house.
He had a little something to eat before going to bed and I sat
with him while sipping on my hot cocoa.

And then I saw it...the mask that my friend brought from her work, NBC 11.

It was a mask of Chandler from "Friends".
I decided to put it on while my brother wasn't looking.
He was also talking to me at the same time.
When he finished his last sentence, I said,
"Well, I'm not sure what Chandler would say about that"

then, he looked up, did a little double-take and
SCREAMMMEEED!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I was dying of laughter! I couldn't stop! I even fell to the floor, tears came pouring out of my eyes...
Oh, man...that moment was priceless.

maybe that's why I slept so soundly. hehehe!

more feasting
after this, 'gonna give my parents' a call to see what their plans are with the kids today.
I'll be going over there again today.
my parents are hosting another dinner tonight with
some of my other uncles and aunties from L.A.
And of course, there will be more crab to feast on.

unfortunately, my mom got sick yesterday, so I had to help out a bit.
I hope she's feeling better today, though.

ok, gonna go have breakfast.

til later...

12:14p

MERRY MERRY X-MAS!!!!
wow. I just got up 15 minutes ago.
we had dinner at my bf's paren'ts house and then headed over to midnight mass.
Unfortunately, we got the same priest as last year.
very monotone. poor man, I think he pulled out one of his old
sermons from 10 years ago.
there was no spirit in it.
no passion.
no spunk.
it was like listening to the tone on the "emergency broadcast system"
cool thing though: we ran into my bf's cousin and his girlfriend.
very nice surprise.

our dinner was, as always, DELICIOUS!
My bf's parents can COOK, man!
WE had pot roast, fried shrimp and sotanghon.
Everything was great, especially the pot roast.
My bf's dad cooked it in the new dutch oven that my bf bought for
him on his b-day.
Then for dessert we had fresh mangoes and mango ice cream. yum.

Afterwards, we all watched TV, one of those forensics shows on the discovery channel -
I love those.
And of course, my bf and his dad fell asleep.
Then, off we went to mass.

We hung out at their house for a few minutes after mass and watched
some more tv.
Then, me and my bf went home around 1:30a or so.
We opened some gifts our friends gave us in bed:
A Britney Spears calendar for him (ugh!),
A new fleece hoody for me (yay!),
and 2 Power Bar t-shirts and fleece beannies for both of us (Thanks, Grande!).
Then, sleep.

Playing Santa and CRAB!
after typing up this blog,
I'm gonna finish wrapping some more presents
and then off we go to drop them off at my
cousin's place around 3:30p.
Then, we're off to spend x-mas with my family.
My Tita Doris and her family will also be joining us from L.A.
They'll arrive around 5p.
It's kinda neat that they will finally be visiting us.
I don't actually remember her at all from my childhood.
But her brother, Tito Jun, also spent the x-mas with us last year.

I'm excited to see how much Dara, their oldest, has grown up.
When I first met her, she was just 4 or 5 years old
and spoke Tagalog PERFECTLY!
Talagang nagigigil ako sa kanya casi
I LOVE hearing little kids speaking Tagalog.
It's like music to my ears.

But, she's probably a bit americanized now.
I hope not too much, though.

Anyhoo, she's also got a little sister and brother now.
I'm excited to meet and play with them today.

Finally, I'm excited for my dad's CRAB!
Woo hoo! more heartattack food!
I can't wait.

anyhoo, 'better get going with my gift-wrapping.
only got a couple hours or so left.

12:48p

hot-olas!
hehe! that's my new name for Legolas in The Lord of the Rings.
Wow. I don't think I've ever been so turned on by a man who's
an expert in archery.
His long hair definitely does it for me, though.
wow...hot-olas!

so me, my bf, and two friends went to watch the 7:30p showing of Two Towers last night.
And as everyone has been saying, it was the bomb-diggity!!!!
i don't think I've ever held my pee that long, but it was well worth it!
I think I want to read the last book so that I can know the ending already.
Besides, it would be interesting to learn more in-depth stuff about the characters.

It's just an amazing thing to see the fruits of someone's
creative mind at work. The plot, storyline, characters are all so
creative...it's no surprise that Tolkien started a whole new generation of
writers that wrote about the fantastical characters in his book.

sweet chocolate mint *blinks eye*
so i tried the peppermint hot chocolate that Olivia was raving about.
It was good! although, I should've ordered the grande cause it got too sweet after a while.
I watched them make it, though, and they basically used:
Torani peppermint syrup, chocolate syrup and steamed milk.
AHA!!!! You can make this at home.
I thought so.
But next time, less chocolate syrup and mint syrup.
I got a headache and toothache from the over-sweetness. eck!

will continue later. my bf's gotta work on our DSL connection.

11:30p

(written yesterday, Sunday, before I lost internet connection)

it's often difficult to capture a great moment in words.

tonight, after spending the day cleaning up,
my boyfriend and I hung out in the orange room
and recapped on last night's events and did our
usual "plus/delta".
we just laughed and laughed and laughed....
happy about all the little things that evolved from the night's festivities.

as usual the White Elephant game was nothing but craziness.
it's like a dizzying kind of fun that always leaves me a with hoarse voice
and sore cheeks (the ones on my face, of course).

I think the ultimate highlight of the evening was at around midnight or so.
there were a few folks left and
somehow, the craziness evolved to a new level.
picture it:

4 women,
lying on their backs in a circle,
passing around a giant, yellow, inflatable exercise ball...
with their legs!

OH...MY...GOD! it was pure, hysterical, crazy, nonstop comedy!!!!

It was one of those moments where you couldn't stop laughing even if you wanted to.
And afterwards, your cheeks and stomach hurt like hell!
*shakes head*
(sigh)
you just had to be there.

Anyhoo, I love being a host along with my boyfriend.
It is the best...even with all the dishes to wash and details to take care of.
It's the best.
It's like having a wedding every year with the opportunity to continue improving it.
We're already talking about ideas/plans for next year's party!

It's also great how we are able to carry on the tradition of having x-mas celebrations
in this house.
When I was growing up, my parents would put one together with our extended family.
There would be loads of us kids running around...in our x-mas best outfits.
It was a great time.
When I was even younger, this house was often the kid's play hub of the cul de sac.
My mom would bake us cookies and we'd hang out and play or skate in the backyard.
My friend (who lived at the end of the block) would come over often for sleepovers, too.
I feel really lucky to have/live in this home.

Another cool part of the x-mas party is the day after.
We usually have a few people stay over and we'll have a pilipino breakfast the next day.
It gives us a chance to recap the evenings events and continue the laughter.

will continue later....

8:18a

halleluah!!
..I'm awake wayyy before 10a.
And i think I can actually stay up the rest of the day, too.
Usually, when I get up this early, I read a little and go right back to sleep
until 11 or 12.

I think my DDR workout helped yesterday.
It's cool cause there's a "workout" mode on the game.
You can set it to burn a certain amount of calories or to "workout"
for a certain amount of time.
I set my goal to complete 45 min worth of routines.
I LOVED it!
I started easy of course, then worked my way up to the harder steps
(level 6 in difficulty).
I look hella funny stepping at that level, though!

my brother and his friend hung out at our place last night, too.
they bought dinner at Popeye's. My brother was so thoughtful and
even bought some for me and my boyfriend.
So we all pigged out together. again.
Thank goodness I worked out earlier.

getting ready
I also set out some of the stuff I bought at Ikea.
I'm hoping that the house looks inviting and comfortable.
I'm all about comfort.
Instead of buying a new area rug for the living room,
I decided on purchasing a couple of wool throw blankets and putting them on the living room floor.
I figure it'll be better for little max to crawl on. I also added some
large pillows on the floor for him.

today there's lots more to do.
gotta do the grocery shopping and cook,
prep and decorate the garage,
clean all the dishware, utensils and glasses,
and purchase a couple of table cloths.
Oh, and I also gotta wrap my White Elephant gift.
My boyfriend just got his last night....he's so proud of himself.
It's actually a pretty cool gift, though.

Oh, and it's sunny today. Yeah for sunshine! Well, so far anyway.
Only thing is, it's cold as hell!!!!
This house is like an igloo.
As much as we try not to use the heater to save money,
we couldn't help but use it last night.
Man, it felt good!
I'm telling you, it's colder in here than outside.
Old homes are like that: very poor insulation.

Well, better get started on my day before it turns 9am.
I swear this is so wierd. The sun is still in the east and I'm awake.
Finally!

5:32p

different day
yippy! woke up this morning at 10:30a...an hour earlier than yesterday.
progress.
My boyfriend woke me up with his phone call.
Luckily he didn't interrupt my dream...about Justin Timberlake.
he kissed me.
wierd!!!! I don't even think of him in that way. He's like 8 years younger
than me.
But it was still a nice dream.
hehehe....I'm sure Bev has more of those dreams than I do, though! ;)

My brother stayed over last night and was already awake
before me. As usual he was hungry, so he invited me to breakfast.
his treat for my b-day. how sweet!
We pigged out yet again on grease, grease, grease.
It was pretty much heart attack food.
Felt a little icky afterwards, but it sure was good while I was eating. :)

Then, i took off for Ikea to buy some last minute items for Saturday's party.
Of course, idiot me drove through the storm in 45 mph traffic.
Luckily the rain stopped when I came out of Ikea 1.5 hours later,
so the drive back wasn't as bad.

Crippsmas Place
one thing I love about x-mas is seeing people's homes all decorated in lights.
Despite the amount of electricity it takes,
It's like being in Vegas, but more "homey".

There's actually a street near my neighborhood that gets all into it.
The whole street, Cripps Court, and some of the other homes on the adjacent streets
decorate their houses with lights - TONS of them, disney caricatures, nativity scenes...you name it.
This year, they even puts lights on the street light at the end of their cul de sac and
added wooden caricatures of Harry Potter and co. climbing the light.
They get really creative like that!

The difference with this neighborhood effort is that they do it in the
name of charity.
A few years ago, the son of one of the family's that lives on Cripps Court
died of Leukemia.
This inspired the family to create this neighborhood of lights and would
collect donations for the Leukemia Society from the visitors who
would drive through.

I actually drove through this area on Tusday night before my
dinner date with my best friend.
There's just something about seeing everything lit up.
I felt like a kid again.
For some reason, I even got all veklempt and started tearing.
Then again I cry at everything...
But still - it was a pretty interesting moment.
I wish my boyfriend was there to share it with me, though.

There were a couple of neighbors outside greeting visitors and
carrying their donation buckets.
I felt pretty dumb cause I didn't even have 50 cents to donate!
sad. I just waved really fast and looked away.

12:13a

sweaty
ewww!!! I am that right now, because.....

MY BOYFRIEND GOT ME DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION PADS FOR MY B-DAY!!!!

(he just surprised me with it tonight)
woohoo!!!!
I felt bad at first cause we agreed not to get eachother
gifts this x-mas. but...how could I resist?
'spent a good hour and a half playing tonight and
getting all gross and sweaty.
but DAMn I love DDR!

And, yes, it will be at the x-mas party for those of you going,
so be prepared.
You're welcome to shower at our place afterwards.
I swear, it's like a workout!

nice family time
'got back around 9:30p tonight from dinner with my family.
Le Cheval's was the bomb!
My favorites: garlic pork, imperial rolls, shrimp rolls and best of all...
flambayed bananas with vanilla gelato.
Thank goodness my boyfriend busted out with the DDR pads.

I'm a happy girl right now.

11:56a

WOOPEEE!
Woke up at 11a. I hope this means the spell is broken. again.
I've been waking up at 1p for the last 3 days.
That's a formula for a very unproductive day. well, something like that.

anyhoo, I went to bed "early" (12a instead of 2:30a) to try to
break this insomnia spell.
I ended up sleeping around 2:30a, though, because i spent most
of the time tossing and turning, thinking about stuff, reading.
Oh well, at least my ass got up earlier today.

'got a phone call at 11:30a from an ex-co-worker.
she's back from her first semester in grad school. how exciting!
we're having lunch next week to catch up some more.
I'm really glad we've kept the lines of communication open,
because I'm really excited to hear about how life's been for her.

it's funny cause around the same time last year, we were
both layed off from our job. Although I volunteered to get layed off,
it was pretty tough for her. Luckily things turned around for the better.

family time
hmm..lots to do today again.
will continue my cleaning and setting up.
then, having dinner with my family and aunt and uncle tonight.
my brother was in finals during my b-day last tuesday, so we
had to schedule my b-day dinner for tonight since it's his last day of finals.

gonna eat at Le Cheval. I've heard good things about this place, but have
never been there. i believe it's vietnamese cuisine. yum!

i was just thinking though...
how my parents don't really owe me any more b-day or x-mas gifts ever!
they already bought me a car,so I think that's good forever.
apparently my mom had been saving for a year or so, because she knew my old one
(god rest her Honda soul...I LOVE that car!) would be breaking down soon.
Good ol' mom, always giving.

It was really generous of them to do that for me.
I honestly didn't ask for it and still feel wierd about it.
In a way, I felt ashamed
...that I couldn't afford it myself.

I was raised to be independent and self-sufficient, so
I've tried to do everything myself. Pay for my own stuff.
I take pride in being financially independent, even though my non-profit salary wasn't the greatest.
Accepting the car was wierd. I really needed a new one, but on the other hand, accepting it meant
being financially dependent of my parents. again.

still don't know how to reconcile all of that, but
I'm really grateful for the car, because my other one eventually died.
As soon as I get a new job, i'm gonna pay my parents back on a monthly basis.
that's the only way I can think of to reconcile my feelings and thank them
for their generosity....even though they don't even expect to get paid back.

11:50p

my hero
came back home a couple hours ago.
my best friend, R, took me out to dinner for my b-day gift...
even though she already spent TONS of time and money
to be with me in Vegas.
I swear...THAT girl! She's too thoughtful and kind.

we always laugh at ourselves...
we live less than a mile away from eachother,
yet we rarely see eachother.
funny thing is, we're always on the same page...as if we see
eachother everyday.

our friendship has actually always amazed me.
it's as if we were meant to be eachother's anchor
throughout our different life journeys.

We were even seperated for 4 years when I moved to another city/high school after sophomore year.
Things changed with us as individuals, but our friendship remained the same.

...and then BOOM! :

we ended up going to the same college,
we became college roommates (she was actually my first roommate ever!),
we ended up hanging with the same circle of friends again,
we served as officers together in our alumni chapter,
and now we're back where we started: living less than a mile away from eachother.

besides being a solid friend, sister, support...(and someone who is soo fun to make fun of!)
she's one of the most courageous people I know:
to be able to live true to yourself is not the easiest, especially when
the road ahead isn't always clear. but she's done it...100 times over.
and I swear, she's so much better for it.
Like, 5,000 times better!

I'm inspired by her solid sense of self, her sense of value/worth in herself, her power, and will to
continue to live life on her own terms...to live out her truths.
she's pretty revolutionary in my book.

she's my hero.

1:21a

i'd rather be ice skating
it's late. again. and i'm still up.
'spent my day doing bills,
balancing my checkbook,
organizing my files and storage cabinet,
and
compiled 2.5 year's worth of un-reconciled bank statements.

I must say a prayer to the checkbook gods tonight before i go to bed...
I swear my checkbook register is a MESS! Help!
Good news: I reconciled one year's worth today.
Bad news: I've got 1.5 years worth to go.

also found that my dad hasn't cashed 75% of the checks
I've sent him to pay for my car insurance.
he's either:

a) lost them (which is soo like him)or...
b) being nice since I've been unemployed. (this is probably it)

over-worked and under-paid
in any case, I'm broke as hell!
'gonna need to start working at Temp jobs soon.
I really don't like the people at the temp agency that I applied to, though.
Because they tend to so many jobless folks, it's tough to get the
attention you need.

the first time I signed up with them,
they lost my resume...twice,
and they made me take this skills test...twice (when I only needed to take it once).
I guess I can't really complain about that one too much, though.
I got a better score overall the second time around.
Oh yeah, and the woman tending to me kept calling me, "Michelle".
HELLO?!

insomniac
'been having trouble falling asleep these last 2 nights.
'dunno why, but probably has to do with the fact that I need to work out more.
wierd. it's almost like I'm too anxious to go to sleep.
besides that, my pillows are so uncomfortable lately.
goodness...I'm such a whiner!

anyhoo, gonna watch some tv now.
maybe that will lull me to sleep.

tomorrow: more reconciling bank statements. then, i'm off to berkeley to deliver
stuff for a friend. 'hope it's not storming tomorrow.
oh, and 'gonna continue cleaning/getting ready for the party on sat.
I need to make a stop at one of the Pilipino restaurants nearby to order
some palabok.
mmm...'wish I had some now.

good night!

11:39p

for shits and giggles
I don't expect gifts for my b-day...or even x-mas for that matter.
Though that may sound hard to believe,
I really don't want people feeling obligated to buy me anything,
especially since they could be spending it on things they need.
I also don't want people feeling obligated to buy me
something just because its my b-day.
that just makes me feel icky, because I honestly don't expect anything. ever.
besides that fact, I'm a pretty blessed person. I've got everything i need...
even now that I've been unemployed for almost a year.

but just for fun, i thought i'd come up with a list of things I wish I could spend my money on right now,
well, if I had money to spend.
it's okay to dream, right?
here goes:

* a sewing machine (so I can make more decorative stuff for the house)

* tuition to complete an Advanced Massage Therapist certification at San Francisco School of Massage
(so I can have over 300 hours under my belt and continue in my development)

* tuition to complete a Zen Shiatsu certification at the same school

* tuition to complete another certification in Pregnancy and Labor Massage with Carol Osborne-Sheet's program
(she's thee expert in this field)

* a Showtime rotisserie thingy (cooking a rib roast in this thing is the best!)

* an hour hot tub and 2 hour massage at Watercourse Way

* a new, hip hanging light fixture from Ikea (to replace our crappy 70's looking one in the dining room)

* a new, hip light fixture from Ikea (to replace our ugly bathroom one)

* yards of irridescent fabric...dunno what color (for the family room...new project)

* a warm jacket that I can wear for both casual and more-than-casual occassions

* new boots..black leather (with heels but a little platform under the front part of my feet....I need to be able to dance in them.)

* prints and frames (so i can liven up our dining room and living room)

* some hip new blouses/shirts

* a cool black hat.

* dinner at my favorite italian restaurant, Cafe Venezia in Berkeley (linguine w. prawns and torta gelato!!! yum!)

* some arts and crafts stuff at Michael's (so that I can finally complete my glass mosaic project)

* stainless steel sink and new faucet fixtures for the bathrooms

* new bathroom countertops

* mosaic tiles for the bathroom

* corian kitchen countertop (preferrably black)

* new tiles for kitchen walls

* new Ikea kitchen cabinets and drawers (preferably something hip)..or white paint so I can re-do the old ones.

* new dining table (made from Ikea countertop and silver legs)

* water softener (I had to add something responsible)

I think that's it for now. going to sleep.

12:50p

wierd dreams
(Chi will get a kick outta this one)
'Just got up a few minutes ago.
'dreamt that my cousin's husband and his father
came to stay with my family here.
the father spoke only an English dialect, so it was difficult to communicate.
My cousin's husband spent a lot of time outside of our house.
He always kept leaving to go do his own thing.
This was wierd cause we weren't sure how he knew to get around.
He'd never been to the states let alone the bay Area.

we weren't really sure what to serve for dinner one night for the father.
'wasn't really sure what English folks liked to eat.
'but remembered my cousin's blog...about the lovely roasts they would have for dinner some nights.
So I thought that's something we could serve.

Somehow the father instructed us on how to roast a turkey...in his English dialect.
it was quite educational...learning how to communicate in different languages.
'not quite sure how the turkey turned out, though.
My dream ended before it was cooked.

I'm still wondering why the heck i dreamt that. It was so random!

1:04a

a beautiful stormy saturday
'just got back from our friend's wedding reception.
'had a great time, especially with catching up with old friends.
I was happy to see some high school friends that i haven't seen since...high school.
funny thing is, as rainy and dreary as it was outside, I was in high spirits.
I was particularly excited to re-connect with folks, find out what's been goin' on
in people's lives and just really...connecting.

'had a few good conversations throughout the reception and at the end of the ceremony.
the best thing was hearing about how people have moved on in life, pursued their dreams.
it was also touching to hear how one family has continued their healing process
and finally learned to live without a family member who passed away some years ago.
another conversation i learned from a lot was in regards to revelations about one's career.
that was a good one.

also got a chance to meet a few new friends.
...that's always a bonus.

'can't help but appreciate how all of us are interconnected..
and that all of us have a lot to learn from eachother.

things that irked me today
1. high nrg dj's that can't mix and are too old to be yelling "awww yeahh" (oh my god, someone make it stop!!!)

2. priests that turn religion into some exclusive club. and I quote:

"you can only come up for communion if you
are a Roman Catholic who has gone through first communion,
go to church every sunday and religious holidays,
don't smoke,
don't do drugs,
are not homosexual/transgender/bi-sexual/lesbian/queer or questioning,
are white,
have a job,
do not sin - ever,
or
do not question anything and believe in everything i tell you."

(ok, so maybe I embellished a little at the end. but i swear, it was as if he said those things!)

11:49

maybe it's me
'been trying to find clarity in certain things
over the last year and a half.
my perception of certain things has definitely changed.
partly due to my set of values.

it hasn't been difficult, but...
it often leaves a disconcerting feeling in my soul.

today i was thinking: "maybe it's me. maybe I am just not
facing this challenge in the way that I should", as (I admit)
I've sort of given up on it.
I'm usually not like that.
but with this....i dunno. 'though, theoretically, I should have some hope in it,
i don't.
it's not even in me to want to find a solution.

...but maybe its because of my lack of maturity in the matter.
...maybe i need to try harder...make the challenge worth it.
...maybe I just can't let go of certain things that keep me from moving forward.

maybe I'm just not there yet.
only time will tell, i guess.

11:22p

warm and toasty
'spent the evening with my boyfriend watching our
tape of must see tv thursday.
'sipped on some hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps.
'kinda overdid the schnapps, though...'tasted like chocolate Robitussin. eck!

anyhoo, before that we enjoyed sausage and pepperoni pizza
with pepsi and spinach salad.
quite good.
although, the pizza didn't quite hit the spot.

'rained all day long today, so it was nice to FINALLY have
an excuse for not going outside of the house.
I'm especially glad to have some alone time with my boyfriend.
dunno why, but lately i've just been needing more of his time.

'woke up around 1p...I swear, I couldn't get enough of sleeping today!
'finished book 3 of Harry Potter, though.
'will watch Chamber of Secrets tomorrow
after our friend's wedding ceremony.
I'm so excited!

also, got started on cleaning the house for our party next weekend.
I figure I'll do one room at a time.
'finally folded up and put away my basket of laundry.
it's been sitting there for a week!

quality time
'had a really nice conversation on the phone with a friend today.
'asked her how she's been doing since her mom just passed.
I swear, that woman amazes me!

she's so mature,
level-headed,
well-balanced,
and most importantly,
courageous.

of her family, I believe she was the strongest
in facing her mother's death head on.
she was with her 24/7, taking care of whatever needed to be done.
I believe she became a pillar of strength for her entire family.

i only hope she knows how incredible of a person she is.
i'm just one of the lucky ones that gets to call her my "friend".

1:21p

yeah!!!!
please welcome into the world:
THOMAS M. CONSUNJI III
born this morning at 5:30a

(woo hoo! I'm an aunt again!)

3:46p

headachy
woke up way too early this morning. try 5am.
someone was hogging all the blankets, so I woke up cold...and wanting to pee.
'couldn't go back to sleep after that.
'read my Harry Potter book for a while...til 9am. then, finally went back to sleep.
woke up at 12:30p.
'got this achy feeling on the right side of my head.
sucks cause I need to do stuff today.
'guess it'll have to wait til tomorrow.

sharing.
mom and dad always taught me to.
especially since I am the oldest of 2, i had to share everything I had.

i guess that's why it's hard sometimes to
turn that off...even for people that take, take, take
and are "all about me, me, me, me, me".
(I hate seeing that or being around it.
but sometimes i have no choice.)

so i give these folks scraps...only scraps of me -
even though I don't feel like they even deserve that much.

not everyone is entitled to get everything.
especially when you are the one giving.
hmm...lesson learned.

on a lighter note
instead of watching Must See TV tonight,
our friend will be coming over for dinner and a movie.
He's bringin' over some Thai food and we're providing the Lord of the Rings DVD - enhanced version.
I'm so excited!
It's been a while since we've hung out with this friend. good guy.

friday
'dunno what I'm doing tomorrow night.
'kinda wanna go out, but still haven't heard from friends i need to hear from.
it's gonna be storming, though, so I'm not really looking forward
to having to drive anywhere.
then again, I don't really wanna be stuck at home either.

'wish i was on my way to Vegas again or some other fun place.
I can't believe that was a week ago already!
my, my how time flies!!!
too bad i still feel like I haven't gotten enough sleep.
damn headache.

11:51p

circulation
finally!!! I got my ass to the gym and worked out.
It feels so good to feel my heart pumping and my blood circulating
through my body.
'been eating lots of bad stuff...especially throughout the Vegas weekend.
(funny...we never hit any buffets, though!)

in addition to working out, I finally got some greens into my system.
my poor body hasn't ingested any green vegetables or fruits in way too long!
I actually went to the grocery store specifically to buy a bag of baby spinach
so that I could make a nice spinach salad for lunch.
I figure I might as well go all the way if I'm gonna eat healthier.
I even got creative and made a spinach and onion omelet...which i ate along with my
spinach salad and 2 tortillas.
very yummy indeed.

anyhoo, I just wanted to be physically prepared for my massage session tonight.
I had 2 sessions back-to-back so I needed stamina.

oh, and since I asked the Vegas Party Crew to e-mail me their
ideas on the Pilipino Hotel Casino, the list below has been growing.
hahaha!
I think I'm gonna print it out, fame it and hang it in my bathroom or something. for kicks.
hell, it's great reading material while you're on the can!

decisions, decisions
after my session tonight, I got stuck in construction traffic on the bridge.
I hate that when that happens.
I tried that new 511 number to find out what the traffic was all about.
It's a pretty neat thing...kinda like 411...and it's all voice-activated.
you don't have to push a button.

anyhoo, thought a lot about my career during that 5 mph trek on the bridge.
'think I'm gonna implement some decisions soon.
I'm needing a change.

4:14p

another b-day gift
spent the first half of today with my boyfriend.
we had lunch together at Palapas near his work.
'had some Yummmy chicken tortilla soup and cantaloupe juice.
afterwards, as he was fighting sleep, we walked around the corner
and he bought us some Mrs Field's cookies - 12 nibblers
(half milk chocolate chip/half white chocolate chips with macadamia nuts).
I was already full by this time, so I could only eat 2. what a shame!
I told him to take it to work. He needed the sugar high more than i did.
Poor baby...he still hasn't caught up on sleep from our Vegas weekend.

I walked him to his office and went on my way....

to Bay Street in Emeryville
It's a brand new shopping complex next door to Ikea.
It's outdoor...very quaint. I like.
Unfortunately, I can't afford to shop in 75% of the stores there.
It's funny cause neither can most of the Emeryville/Oakland/Berkeley population.
One thing's for sure....I will not be there to shop on the weekends.
It's bad enough that there's all kinds of traffic from Ikea.
I can only imagine how bad it will be with this new mall next door.

Pilipino-themed Hotel Casino in Las Vegas
so the cab-ride conversation from Venetian back to our Hotel, MGM,
went something like this...

person 1: hey, what's that new casino they're building over there?
person 2: I dunno.
person 3: Hey, you know what they should build? A hotel casino with a pinoy theme!!
ALL: hahahahahaha!!!!! yeah, and they should have....
(people are throwing these ideas left and right)

* plastic covers over all the furniture
* all the dealers speaking with a Pilipio accent
* plastic runners placed in all the hallways!
* a polluted river running in the middle of the casino
* a replica of "smoky mountain"
* suggested name - Hotel Boracay
* 24 hour Silog buffet
* all the utensils, straws and condiments would be from other casinos or fast-food places
* climate in/around hotel would be hot and sticky but everyone would still walk around in long sleeves/pants and with umbrellas.
* A 24 hour buffet that lets guests take some food home - we could even provide the used tupperware and tin foil
* At the buffet, you would take off your shoes while the polluted river runs under your feet. You would eat on banana leaves with your hands. You would have packets of Mafran Banana Sauce.
* A last supper in every restaurant, over every table...don't foget the ubiquitous big spoon and fork
* jeepneys as hotel shuttles
* valet deliveries would be via electric tricycles
* as a bonus to guests, we would offer calesa and carabou rides (similar to the gondola rides at the venetian).
* halo-halo, fishball, taho and balut stands throughout.
* bars that serve drinks made with tanduay rum
* the staff would be dressed white t-shirts, bandanas and khaki flood pants...for evening/formal attire, they would wear barongs.
* we could have a luau-style celebration every night with a huge lechon (OH MY GOD!) cooking over a fire. they could serve food using gigantic forks and spoons.
* people could take pictures next to life-size statues of man-and-woman-in-barrels. (schwing!!!)
* tinikling demonstrations every hour on the hour.
* guests sleep under mosquito nets.
* all the drink servers will be pinay, wearing flare jeans, page-boy haircuts and knock-off shirts from tommy hilfiger, oh and bakya for shoes
* casino floor complimentary drinks served in clear plastic bags ... with straws
* there's got to be a piano somewhere
* pit bosses named "tito boy"
* slot machines where you match weapons of the moroland
* card games but no tables ... everyone must "squat"


(there's more, but I can't remember them. will add more as soon as I refresh my memory)
feel free to add your ideas, though

Yippee!!!

Happy 30th B-day to me!!!

10:17p

yummmmm!!!
just had the yummmiest nilaga ever!
my mom gave me and my bf her old pressure cooker, so I used it for the first time tonight.
it only took 30 min. to tenderize the beef and oh my gosh...it melted in my mouth like butter!
topped off our meal with Mrs. Field's hot cocoa with a shot of peppermint schnapps.
mmm...mint chocolate w/ a kick!!!

vegas continued
started out saturday evening with dinner at the Rainforest Cafe.
it was really neat. our little "niece" was intrigued by the 3 mechanical gorillas
on top of the rocks near our table.
they would move about and make noises every 15 minutes or so.
the first time it happened, my poor little niece got freaked out!

it was a neat environment. as if you were in the rainforest.
it was complete with swinging vines, a waterfall, elephants, monkeys...the works!
I was suprised we didn't see Tarzan swinging from one of the vines!
everyone was lookin' fly in their party clothes...even our little niece
had on a cute little outfit!

for some reason, i was feeling kinda hyper/excited.
'couldn't get myself to calm down. it was really wierd.
I finally had to just sit there and take a deep breath for a moment.
it was probably a mixture of excitement and over-stimulation from the whole
rainforest theme in the restaurant. I mean, it was really like a rainforest!

it was great to have everyone there together. I, of course,
sat at the "50 yard line" so that i could be in the middle of it all.
I took a moment to look around the table and felt a little veklempt...
I was really the happiest girl for sure. I couldn't ask for anything more than this.

unfortunately, one of my friends got sick from the food. dunno for sure, but
perhaps it was food poisoning. I felt sooo bad for her.
luckily my "niece's" parents are a doctor and nurse, so we got good advice.
our friend, the doctor, came for a house call to make sure she was ok.
we were able to get a wheelchair to take our friend back to her room.
she was ok by that time thank goodness. a few of us went upstairs to make sure
she was ok.
Big FAT BUMMER!!! You should've seen her, too! She was dressed
in leopard print and velvet!!! something she never wears! the girl
was ready to paint the town.

out on the town we went
my first stop after seeing our friend to our room was
the lounge downstairs. our little party crew waited for me, my bf and our doctor friend.
they felt bad going ahead (which I suggested they do), so they had drinks in the
lounge while they waited. soooo thoughtful.

then off we went in two cabs to Hard Rock Cafe.
We wanted to see more stars, so this was apparently the place to be according to our waitress at
Rainforest Cafe.
'Got to the front door and sure enough, out of ALL of us, i was the only one that got carded.
Bless that doorman's heart!
What was even funnier was when I pulled out my ID from....my "Hello Kitty" picture wallet!!!
My friends clowned me big time! haha!

Anyhow, Though we didn't see any stars, the place was jumping! It was definitely the place to be.
D bought all of us a round of shots. I got to take two cause one of our party crew members
wasn't a drinker. 'got a nice little buzz out of that one!

Since the bar area was pretty crowded, we took a walk around the place.
It was so packed!
almost ran into a girl in a chiffon-like blouse...with no bra!
ok..HELLO! There was like arreolas all UP in my face! gross!
It was like two iris' staring me in the face. yuck!
Then, I passed by some girl and her boyfriend. I smiled cause they caught my eye and I'm polite.
Then the bitch says, "Damn she's short!"
eh, she was lucky i was buzzed....anorexic-looking freak!

Anyway, everyone there was dressed to impress. everyone also looked the same to me.
no standouts. no originality what-so-ever.
all cookie-cutter-wanna-be-sexy style.
i'm telling you...our party crew looked better than everyone there! ha!

the all-women cab ride and Venice
we didn't stay for very long at Hard Rock. 'decided to make use of our
buzzez and get our groove on, so we headed for club C2K at The Venetian.
we took 2 cabs again. we split up the girls and the guys.
oh my god...it was like having a mini 10 min. girls night out.
lemme just say that 5 drunk women in a cab makes for nothing but pure comedy!
the guys had their own comical experience. apparently their driver was a Rex Navarette look-alike.

we got to C2K but,
unfortunately, one of our party crew members left their ID at the hotel,
so we waited for her to get it. hung out at the lounge across from the club.
I tell you....they played wayyy better music.
I would've been happy if we partied there all night instead.
Once we walked in, the music automatically took over and I couldn't
stop moving. I eventually pulled one of my friends and we danced right there.
there were only 2 other people besides us dancing.
eventually the rest followed.
sorry man, but when there's good music playing, I just can't let it go to waste, you know!
Oh, and the jack-n-coke that Nico got me helped keep my buzz intact. Thanks, man!

before we knew it, our friend came back with her ID. unfortunately,
we lost one of our friends who accompanied her to the hotel. we lost him to Mr. Sandman.
poor guy. 'guess he was pretty damn tired!
C2K was dead, dead, dead. It was a shame that we paid $20.
Thank goodness they played R&B/hip hop the rest of the night, though.
There was a big fat cage in the middle of the dance floor.
Mz. Bern, of course, made her debut in it. Go Bern! She had the cage all to herself, too.

When they started to play hip hop, I made my way into the cage too.
I had to share it with these two other women. they were pretty nice about it.
I swear, I thought I was gonna slip... there wasn't much traction between
the cage floor and my boots cause my boots are kinda crapped out.
Anyways, I had a great time being in there. 'never danced in a cage before either.
Heck, it beats dancing in front of the mirror! hehehe!

The coolest part was getting our doctor friend to dance in the cage.
Since he's a dad now, too, he and his wife don't get to party often.
But i tell you man, their freaky-deeky side is still in there somewhere waiting to come out!
And, thankfully, it did!
It's probably been at least 8 years...that, I think, was one of the
highlights of my birthday weekend!

and then there were 6
So, we pretty much closed the place down.
By that time, there was only 6 of our little party crew left.
We headed across the hall to the lounge again.
The DJ was still playing dope beats, so of course i indulged
and danced with my 2 other girlfriends.
It was just us 3 again.
the 3 guys rested on the sofas. my poor bf, his feet were killing him!
eventually, I was the only one dancing by myself. I seriously could've
gone on for hours like that...all by myself.
But, I could see the tired faces begging me to stop so we could go home.
so i did. but before we left, i thanked the DJ....I swear, he played everything i liked!
nice guy. he gave me a nice nod of "you're welcome".

taxi-cab confessions
the final six made our way home. that cab ride was like heaven,
especially since I was tired out of my mind by this time.
I dunno who started it, but we got into a conversation about
how someone should build another hotel casino in Vegas -
one with a Pilipino theme!
hhahaha! This was the funniest conversation of the weekend.
We came up with sooo much stuff.
I'll write about it in another entry, but man...we were dying of laughter
the whole cab ride home!

finally ended the evening (er, morning) at 5am after
having some breakfast at MGM. I could barely
keep my eyes open as I was eating my eggs benedict.
I'm surprised I was awake enough to make my way back to our room.

one last hoorah!
somehow, we all got together again on Sunday morning.
we made our way to a Pilipino restaurant off of the strip (Pinoy Pinay), which
my dad had told me about.
I didn't expect much from the place and then we walked in....
HELLO! They had EVERYTHING!!!! and everything was GOOOD!
Dude, they even had itlog na maalat and balut!
Damn, overstimulation again!!!!

I ordered their lechon, pancit, a bowl of sinigang and cantaloupe juice.
also bought a couple siopao's for the plane ride home.
D said it best when he moaned, "Oh my GOD!" he startled us, "...this is the best lechon ever!" (or something like that)
Everything was amazing! I'm telling you, this place beats all the pinoy restaurants
i've eaten at in the Bay Area. The quality, selection and price is unbeatable!

through our foodgasms, we continued our Pilipino-themed hotel casino conversation
and came up with more ideas.
finally, it was time to part ways.
it was like a final episode of The Real World or something.

winding down
We had about an hour or so to kill so, my bf and I
walked back to MGM from Paris hotel where Nico and Bern dropped us off.
It was a nice walk.
it actually didn't take as long as we thought.
we were so full from all that pilipino food, so this helped.

walked past Studio 54 on the way to the MGM lobby and noticed
that they had a red carpet and velvet ropes set up in front of it.
they were probably having a pre-Billboard Awards party there
that night (Sunday).
The Billboards was on tonight (monday).
I got that star-struck feeling again. I sooo wanted to stay one more day.
but it was time to go.
made it home safely.
crashed for about 14 hours and woke up around 1p on monday.

What a great b-day weekend!!!!!

4:35p

the luckiest girl in the world
I'm full...'had the best time in Vegas with my friends.
'even got a chance to hang out with friends from out of state.
I got my b-day wish: time with friends and family.
I feel so blessed right now.

star struck, sleep-walking and dancing to Milli Vanilli in the wee hours of the morning
friday night was a little more mellow.
'decided to have a midnight snack before heading out to the clubs.
took the elevator to the first floor...the doors opened once we got down and who was waiting to
get on as we were getting off of the elevator?
Alyssa Milano.
Of course, all of us were like staring at her to make sure that was really her.
It was funny cause we were all giving eachother that questioning look like, "is that who I think it is?"
She was cute. VERRRY petite. I swear she looked a little shrunken..you know how TV adds 10 lbs.
Of course, the guys were all "aglow", too.
It was just wierd how she was right there in front of my face.
close enough to hug.

anyhow, we proceeded to the 24-hour cafe and had a midnight snack with my "niece"
and her family along with our hotel roommates E&S.
It was my bf's first time meeting our "'niece"...he fell in love instantly.
The child is so expressive and friendly. It was funny watching her
raise an eyebrow at us at one point. cracked us up!
oh, and we sat at a table next to Tia & Tamera of WB's "Sister to Sister".
neat!

Afterwards, a few of us walked to the other casinos to look for a dance club to hit.
It was like 2am by this time, so some of us were pretty much sleep walking.
We walked through New York, New York and Excalibur to get to
Ra Nightclub at Luxor. Long walk.
'decided to see what was going on at the Rum Jungleat Mandalay Bay instead, cause they were already
playing a lot of "trance" music at Ra. We were looking for some hip hop/r&b of course.
no luck either at Rum Jungle...but the place looked really cool!
I especially like the front of the club which had little torch flames coming out of the entire wall...floor to ceiling!

Anyhow, we opted insted for the House of Blues, which was in the same hotel.
It was kinda dead, but they were playing the music we were looking for...and it was FREE.
hahaha....even danced to some Milli Vanilli. Though not my fav. thing to dance to, I was laughing the WHOLE time doing it!!!!
We were done after 15 min. cause they were closing already.
Some of us went to bed and a few of us hung out at one of the lounges at our hotel.
'had the best conversation...'talked about our "top 5's" and stuff.
It was a really great way to cap off the evening...err, by this time it was 5 am.
Then, finally, sleep.

another clash with stardom and sunshine
Ring Ring!!! It was Bern. They just got in from the airport.
It's now 9:30 am Saturday.
Still sleepy, so I got in another 2 hours after hanging up with her.
We all decided to hang out at the little food court downstairs for lunch.
After finishing my orange juice, i decided on getting a chai tea at Starbucks,
which was right behind our table.
While waiting in line, who do I see yet again?
Alyssa Milano.

i couldn't believe it. kinda panicked a bit cause I wanted
to tell my friends so that they could come see, too.
'decided that I didn't want to cause a scene, so instead of
running to tell my friends, I walked real fast.
Then, once I was out of site, I sprinted like my life depended on it,
grabbed my friends (who FLEW out of their seats) and all 4 of us got in
line at Starbucks. 'didn't have time to tell the rest of them, cause they were all in line to buy food.
Alyssa was still there ordering.
We all kept looking at eachother again with that look of
"oh my god...it's really her again??!!...OOh, i like her hair!" (ok maybe the hair part was just me)

Then, this blond lady, who was part of Alyssa's little entourage, walked passed me.
and I had a revelation: "Alyssa and Justin Timberlake really ARE dating...maybe even exclusively".
I deduced this from the fact that the blond lady...was Justin's mom!
In any case, i felt like such a little teeny bopper with my being so star struck!
But as soon as I got to the Starbucks counter to place my order, I asked the cashier if she got Alyssa's autograph.
She was like, "Oh, that's why she looked so familiar!" but she wasn't allowed to do stuff like that while on the job, so no
autograph.

Anway, I finally got my chai tea and walked back towards my friends.
I almost choked on my drink from laughter when I saw
G wiping the drool off of R's mouth from seeing Alyssa!!! (G & R are married) Hahaha!!!! it was a site to see!

Hooked up with some other friends (who flew all the way from Washington D.C.)
and off we went to explore the casinos north of us. My bf and I haven't seen them
yet so It was all new for us. They all pretty muched looked the same, but
Bellagio was the most ornate and beautiful of them all!
My favorite area was their conservatory...filled with x-mas flora and fauna. It was so amazing!
Also caught a little bit of the water show in front of the casino. Very nice. reminded
me of Fantasia at Disneyland without the laser show.
And throughout the entire day, it was so incredibly beauooootiful out!
It wasn't even that cold, the sun was out and everything! There were even
people wearing shorts!
We took a group shot in front of the Bellagio...i swear, it was such a nice pic.
The weather was so nice to us all weekend long, in fact.

and I thought it couldn't get any better
after our site seeing, we parted ways to rest up before the night
ahead of us.
I'm telling you, my weekend could've ended right there.
I got everything I wanted for my b-day: precious time with friends.
but there was more....

(gotta fix dinner. will blog more later)

8:36a

i'm back! but I'd rather go back!
came home about a few minutes ago.
tired as hell, but had the best b-day debauchery weekend!!!
lucky bern...she's got 2 days left there.
hopefully she and nico can get tix to the Billboard Music Awards.
They are having it at the MGM where we stayed.
In fact, today my boyfriend and I passed by Studio 54 and noticed
a red carpet and yards of velvet rope set-up.
I'll bet they're having a pre-awards party there tonight.
Wahhh! 'wish I could go!!!

will blog more tomorrow. feeling tired and gotta watch my sunday night shows!

4:55p

WOO HOO!!!! I'm OFF to SIn CIty!!!!!!!

and i'm out....

12:38p

4 hours left
'woke up about 30 min. ago.
went to bed at 2am.
probably fell asleep at 2:30a.
awoken by boyfriend's nightmarish grunts.
ugh! it wasn't pretty.
'had to make sure he was ok.
'went to the bathroom as well.
went back to bed around 2:45a.
'didn't actually fall alseep until 5a. (why is life cruel like this sometimes?)
woke up 3 hours later at 8 to drive my bf to BART.
went back to bed and fell asleep.
(sigh)
I've finally caught up.

'still gotta pack and stuff, though.
damn....only 4 hours left for me to do anything.

...but still gonna make it to Vegas!

10:53p

digging a little deeper
'came back about an hour ago from shopping. again.
finally found an outfit or 2 - yips and skips!
oh, and can I just say: thank goodness for spandex!
otherwise, I would never be able to buy anything at those Forever 21 stores.

I swear, i truly wonder why the fashion industry created
the sizes "0", "1", "2".
The whole time I was shopping, I kept thinking to myself:
if I only had clothing designer skills, I would create a line that catered more to
the very diverse shapes and sizes of REAL women.

I mean, seriously!!!
haven't we learned by now that women and little girls are still making themselves
sick in order to fit into the stereotypical "0-1-2" body...which is not necessarily a norm??
Why must designers continue to perpetuate this?
it's a shame, really.

They should take a look at this Time Magazine Story called "Girl Culture".
It's a really eye-opening read.
'Reminds me of how crucial it is for ALL of us to be mindful of
how we present (especially through our actions and subtle comments )the concept of "beauty" to girls...all children, really.
Most importantly, it reminds me that we need to continue being critical of and breaking down the stereotypes that exist in our
own psyche, actions, "normal" practices.

10 more hours
'gotta still pack for my weekend of debauchery.
it's gonna be cold, cold, cold, man.
I really can't wait to kick it with my friends.
That's what I am looking forward to the most.

It's great that we won't have to really worry about anything.
We just spend our money on whatever we need.
No need to cook or be a host.
No need to drive anywhere.
No need to worry about when to stop drinking.
No need to worry about what time to go home.
We have all the time to focus on just being with eachother and having a good time...
for the whole weekend! 'Gotta love Vegas, man!

Anyhoo, 'better get going. 'gotta make my packing list.
it's a ritual for me.
it's my way of making sure I don't forget anything.
it's the one thing i am semi-anal about.
hehe!

4:48p

archives
yeah!!! i found them!

will write more later.
still looking for a Vegas outfit.
thank goodness I can leave the house. til later...

Happy 30th B-day, CHEL !!!!

12:17

what happened to my archives???

11:21p

almost there
'came back about a couple of hours ago from my orientation/x-mas party
for my new work place.
The place itself is coming together.
definitely starting to look like a swanky little place.
though the velvet couches have yet to
make their premiere,
the lights under the benches and in the front desk are cool.
'trying to figure out how I can recreate it for my own home!

'got to meet a few more really cool peeps.
I really clicked with EZ, though.
I could already sense EZ's down to earth vibe when I first ran into them.
We're definitely on the same page for sure!

'still feeling a little distanced from the whole thing, though.
'noticed that the puti to colored folk ratio was way off...unfortunately.
it's kinda ironic, too, being that the owners are both people of color.
not that I'm against puti folk, but I'm all about creating as diverse a space as possible.
I mean, seriously, there weren't even any black folks in the house...not one.
I guess I'm back in the "real world" again, huh?

also, although it was a nice way to get everyone together,
i was disappointed that they didn't have any specific info on our start date for
anything. The folks that run the place really seem down-to-earth and genuine,but
all this wondering just isn't good for the spirits, you know.
the worst part is, I'm afraid I might have to take my permit test all over again
if they don't get things set soon.
I already passed my first test, but it is only valid for 90 days.
and I took my exam back in October.

anyhow, my bf and I talked about our experience for the night.
we both agreed that the place really has potential and that
the intentions of the owners appear to be in the right place
with this project. they definitely are not working with
the "bottom-line" mentality.
but everything is yet to be seen.
all depends on how this group works together...

My focus with this new career is to continue developing myself
and maintaining my professionalism.
But i don't think I will feel that spirit of "team work", until
I begin to know my co-workers.
I plan to focus on that...creating relationships with the people I work
with.
hopefully, everyone else will be on the same page.

more work for me
anyhow, with this uncertainty of my work schedule for this new place,
i think it's ok to begin scheduling my own private appts again.
'gotta get back to a few people tomorrow.
so i'd better plan my appts. carefully.

P.S.

6 more days til my birthday!!!!!
2 more days til VEGAS, baby!!!!

whoa! smiley overload!
thanks again, Chi, for your smiley help!

I'm still feeling a little .
'gonna go to bed again to try to get some zzz.
I'll probably be knocked out!

YEAH for SMilies!!!! Good night. again.

9:46a

big fat whiner!
dude.
still sleepy.
damn window guy called me at 8 am.
said his morning appointment canceled so he could move up our appt from 3p today
to...9am.
oh my god.
1.5 more hours please?
"ok", he says with a snicker.

so here I am.
fighting sleep like it's a big burly monster.
ahhh!!!! i don't wanna wake up til 11a!!!

went to bed at 2a.
woke up at 6:30a to drive my bf to the BART.
read some of my harry potter book for about 30 min
and then went back to sleep.
and then the stupid phone call at 8a.
ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

will try
but I must do something to keep me awake for now,
so 'thought i'd blog a while.
woke up 30 minutes too early.
damn!

last night, went over to Blockbuster and rented a couple of DVD's
that I knew my boyfriend wouldn't really want to watch with me:
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Scooby Doo

'Still dunno how Scooby Doo ended cause the DVD was all crapped out
(gonna get me another copy),
but DSYYS was ok. interesting story. very interesting characters
but the story-telling was kinda so-so.

But of course...yet AGAIN...I cried my eyes out. (as I usually do with stuff like that).
Some of the storylines in the movie kinda
paralleled some of the stuff I've been through.
Oh my gosh, and one of the characters just made me cry and cry and cry.
I couldn't stop! 'really reminded me of someone in my life who i hold
very dear to my heart.

My favorite part of the movie was the relationship between the
Ya-ya's...oh how I cherish girlfriend relationships like that.
I've been truly blessed and lucky to have had that in my life,
especially my girlfriends back in jr. high and college.
Girlfriend bonding is really a unique thing.
I was lucky enough to be around friends who weren't all prissy and into their looks.
These women are REAL PEOPLE, deep people who have taught me so much about
friendship.

all this talk makes me wanna go on another ladies night or all-girl trip somewhere.

date
well, I guess you wouldn't really call it a date, but
my boyfriend came home with our "dinner" at about 10:30p.
we sat at our little dining room table and had our turkey sandwiches
with potato chips, potato salad and Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies.

we had a nice talk about what was taught in his photography class that evening.
he's currently taking a class on how to create a portfolio.
what he was explaining to me reminded me a lot of similar
"photo essay" type shots that bern took back in college.
It was photos of our friend, Joy, teaching some students how to
dance Tinikiling for the annual PCN.
Wow, bern did a really awesome job capturing Joy's talents as a teacher
as well as the respect and love that her students obviously had for her.
I remember asking her if I could have the pictures so that
I could put it in a little portfolio to give to Joy for her b-day.

come to think of it, I'm not sure if i actually gave it to her or not.
but I can't find them anywhere, so maybe I did give it to her?
hmm...wait. actually I did.
I think.

anyway, bern did a really awesome job.
hey bern! you should do more of those! :)

a business lesson
so the window man came to take final measurements of the windows we're getting replaced
and also to give me the price.
he was a nice man. very fair and decent business man
...but boy, my dad was the man of the hour!

He's no push over for sure!
My dad was able to basically get the window man to waive the installation fee,
talk him out of charging 4.5 percent for paying with a credit card,
(then again, who the hell does that anyway?!)
AND
was able to get him to agree to letting him mail the contract later so that
he would have time to look over and sign it.
DUDE...and my dad did all of this over the phone, 'cause he was at work!

Wow, what a great business lesson.

The window man was still fair, though.
He still did not appear as if he was trying to win one over us.
He even told my dad, "Salamat Pohhh" at the end of their conversation.
(The window man is white, so he pronounced "Po" with a soft "o" like most people who don't really speak Tagalog do)

You know, my dad is one of the nicest guys, really.
But when he gets down to business, don't even think
you can step all over him.
Sometimes he makes mistakes
but when it comes to haggling and getting fair rates,
he's good.
damn good.

If the window man wasn't so nice,
I probably would've gloated and bragged about my dad. hehehe!
naw, I wouldn't.
but i can't help but be so darn proud!

(okay, i think I'm almost awake now)

til later!