1:26p
monday, monday
just got back from lunch.
currently munching on an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie from Specialty's.
it's....alright.
still doesn't beat my cousin, Rox's, homemade ones.
those are the best thus far.
feeling mentally refreshed
until I saw the 5 piles of files on my desk.
since I'm a visual person,
I decided to first make all those files disappear
...onto the floor that is.
did a little rearranging of things since
no one will be occupying the desk next to me.
now all I need is a nice, original, art on canvas
(preferably in red or burgundy) hanging on my walls
along with some of my favorite
photographs which my bf has taken.
...oh, and that BIG FAT clock that they sell at ikea.
you know the one.
what i'd really
wanna do is repaint my corner of the office.
(again, red preferrably)
it's kinda bland in this office in general.
definitely NOT the orange and blue work environment
I used to work in.
something for me. something for you. though mostly for me. but mainly a glimpse of life (and hopefully positive transformation) in my little corner of existence.
Monday, June 30, 2003
Sunday, June 29, 2003
10:04a
my body is spent!
...but it's the "good tired" kind of feeling.
had the ABSOLUTE BEST time yesterday with my friends
and bf at the Alameda County Fair.
But most definitely what made my day was little max.
my goodness! seeing his smile just makes life worth living period.
there were about 8 of us friends total that spent the day together.
the main purpose of our day: to see my bf's photographs...the ones that
made it into the fair's photography exhibit, particularly the one that won a silver award.
we spent the beginning part of the day walking around, checking the place out.
this fair is actually much bigger than I thought it would be.
the things that caught our eye the most, though, were all the food stands. yum!
they had all the essentials: cotton candy, kettle corn, burgers, hot dogs, etc.
but the thing I really wanted to have that day was FUNNEL CAKE. haven't had it in years.
we ended up having lunch at Big Bubba's BBQ. I ordered the BBQ chicken sandwich,
which was basically 4 chicken thighs piled high in a sandwich roll.
um, 'kinda overwhelming when you first see it. but i ate all of it, the chicken, that is.
I also ordered a corn on the cob. there was like oodles of butter dripping off of it.
I think that's what gave me a stomach ache later in the day.
no, wait, it actually felt more like an alien trying to claw its way out of my
stomach.
ya.
that's more like it, dammit.
but I would have done it all over again, cause when I saw that
big fat (not so silver) silver award ribbon hanging next
to my bf's photograph, I was proud like any
girlfriend should be.
We took a picture of him standing next to it.
I was about to do the same with his camera, but
hello? a "photographer's" camera is not exactly a
"point and click" kind of apparatus.
I pretty much just asked my friend to send me a copy of the one she took.
the best part of the day was at the petting zoo.
it was max's turn to play.
his momma introduced him to the goats by feeding
them while he stood next to her.
max just stood there and processed the experience
for a moment, looking a little scared, but not walking away.
later on, he decided to stick his finger on the little goat who stuck his head through
the metal bars that seperated us from him.
when the goat jerked, little max laughed with glee.
it totally broke the ice.
after that, max was all over them goats, tugging their
ears, sticking his finger on their wet noses
while us adults
sat back and laughed - not just at max, but at the goats too.
we were like, "hello little goat, our people eat you. especially our
ilocano brothers and sisters. they like you in kilawin and kaldereta".
(we're dumb like that.)
after play time at the petting zoo, max was out like a light
for his afternoon nap.
I told his mom how watching max play so happily
makes one want to have children. she replied,
"you know, it's really all worth it."
i couldn't agree more.
while i'm not a mother myself, i've certainly
played the role of older sister, older cousin, aunt etc.
for many of my friends and relatives.
and while I cannot say it is the same as being a mom,
I think the joy of seeing your younger siblings or cousins
or friends react to life, explore and grow is a pretty powerful thing.
helps you to enjoy the "little things" that to them are a wonder.
'helps you to appreciate life period.
so after that amazing experience at the petting zoo,
we treated ourselved to FUNNEL CAKE topped with
powdered sugar and strawberries.
needless to say the 7 of us that were left shared two cakes.
there was no way that one of us could finish a cake alone...
um, maybe about 10 years ago, but our 3 decade old
digestive systems just can't hang like that anymore.
under the sea
after the fair, two of our friends invited us to their house
for some pizza and pool time.
oh gawd was that pool just the answer
to our dehydrated and fried bodies.
the weather was almost 100 degree again, so
there was no way we'd pass up an offer like that.
they had all kinds of pool stuff: a basket ball hoop, basketball (of course),
water volleyball, these long skinny foam things that we used to float on...
completo talaga sila!
even little max had his own baby flotation thingy.
and the water was perfect.
our friends have solar panels that heat up the water.
apparently it was about 90 degrees. but i'm pretty sure it wasn't
that hot. otherwise, we would've turned into red lobsters.
floating in the water was perfect for my tired feet and ankles.
for once they didn't have to work.
then, I started swimming around.
i tried to keep moving that whole hour
so i could at least feel like my body did something physically
active for the day aside from
scarfing down fair food.
in any case, the sun beating down on me for 6 hours
at the fair coupled with our little swimfest
left me so butt-tired that I literally conked out
on my friends' couch while they watched TV.
I was out like a light.
my bf also had to shake me every once in a while
so that I wouldn't start my "symphony" of snores.
it was all worth it.
my body is spent!
...but it's the "good tired" kind of feeling.
had the ABSOLUTE BEST time yesterday with my friends
and bf at the Alameda County Fair.
But most definitely what made my day was little max.
my goodness! seeing his smile just makes life worth living period.
there were about 8 of us friends total that spent the day together.
the main purpose of our day: to see my bf's photographs...the ones that
made it into the fair's photography exhibit, particularly the one that won a silver award.
we spent the beginning part of the day walking around, checking the place out.
this fair is actually much bigger than I thought it would be.
the things that caught our eye the most, though, were all the food stands. yum!
they had all the essentials: cotton candy, kettle corn, burgers, hot dogs, etc.
but the thing I really wanted to have that day was FUNNEL CAKE. haven't had it in years.
we ended up having lunch at Big Bubba's BBQ. I ordered the BBQ chicken sandwich,
which was basically 4 chicken thighs piled high in a sandwich roll.
um, 'kinda overwhelming when you first see it. but i ate all of it, the chicken, that is.
I also ordered a corn on the cob. there was like oodles of butter dripping off of it.
I think that's what gave me a stomach ache later in the day.
no, wait, it actually felt more like an alien trying to claw its way out of my
stomach.
ya.
that's more like it, dammit.
but I would have done it all over again, cause when I saw that
big fat (not so silver) silver award ribbon hanging next
to my bf's photograph, I was proud like any
girlfriend should be.
We took a picture of him standing next to it.
I was about to do the same with his camera, but
hello? a "photographer's" camera is not exactly a
"point and click" kind of apparatus.
I pretty much just asked my friend to send me a copy of the one she took.
the best part of the day was at the petting zoo.
it was max's turn to play.
his momma introduced him to the goats by feeding
them while he stood next to her.
max just stood there and processed the experience
for a moment, looking a little scared, but not walking away.
later on, he decided to stick his finger on the little goat who stuck his head through
the metal bars that seperated us from him.
when the goat jerked, little max laughed with glee.
it totally broke the ice.
after that, max was all over them goats, tugging their
ears, sticking his finger on their wet noses
while us adults
sat back and laughed - not just at max, but at the goats too.
we were like, "hello little goat, our people eat you. especially our
ilocano brothers and sisters. they like you in kilawin and kaldereta".
(we're dumb like that.)
after play time at the petting zoo, max was out like a light
for his afternoon nap.
I told his mom how watching max play so happily
makes one want to have children. she replied,
"you know, it's really all worth it."
i couldn't agree more.
while i'm not a mother myself, i've certainly
played the role of older sister, older cousin, aunt etc.
for many of my friends and relatives.
and while I cannot say it is the same as being a mom,
I think the joy of seeing your younger siblings or cousins
or friends react to life, explore and grow is a pretty powerful thing.
helps you to enjoy the "little things" that to them are a wonder.
'helps you to appreciate life period.
so after that amazing experience at the petting zoo,
we treated ourselved to FUNNEL CAKE topped with
powdered sugar and strawberries.
needless to say the 7 of us that were left shared two cakes.
there was no way that one of us could finish a cake alone...
um, maybe about 10 years ago, but our 3 decade old
digestive systems just can't hang like that anymore.
under the sea
after the fair, two of our friends invited us to their house
for some pizza and pool time.
oh gawd was that pool just the answer
to our dehydrated and fried bodies.
the weather was almost 100 degree again, so
there was no way we'd pass up an offer like that.
they had all kinds of pool stuff: a basket ball hoop, basketball (of course),
water volleyball, these long skinny foam things that we used to float on...
completo talaga sila!
even little max had his own baby flotation thingy.
and the water was perfect.
our friends have solar panels that heat up the water.
apparently it was about 90 degrees. but i'm pretty sure it wasn't
that hot. otherwise, we would've turned into red lobsters.
floating in the water was perfect for my tired feet and ankles.
for once they didn't have to work.
then, I started swimming around.
i tried to keep moving that whole hour
so i could at least feel like my body did something physically
active for the day aside from
scarfing down fair food.
in any case, the sun beating down on me for 6 hours
at the fair coupled with our little swimfest
left me so butt-tired that I literally conked out
on my friends' couch while they watched TV.
I was out like a light.
my bf also had to shake me every once in a while
so that I wouldn't start my "symphony" of snores.
it was all worth it.
Friday, June 27, 2003
11:04
naks!
I like this new interface for posting on blogger.
now if I can only figure out what the hell happened to my damn archives.
just cause i'm not religious
...doesn't mean I don't believe in a higher power
in fact, once again, the powers that be came to my rescue again.
for 3 days straight
I randomly ran into my best friend, R,
and got a chance to spend quality time with her.
once again, in the 16 + years we've been friends, we find ourselves
on parallel paths.
I'm convinced we are soul sisters. there
{interruption: creepy crawler coming towards my keyboard. eck!}
...there is no doubt about that.
we're both going through the same thing with our new
jobs. ironically, both of us are working in completely new fields,
and, unfortunately, are going through a lot of growing pains.
the similarities in our problems are uncanny.
seriously, we could be the same person.
the best thing about it is that
we've been able to go through the shit together.
and for me, that's been the biggest blessing!
and how timely was it that we were able
to share so much quality time together this week
when both of our situations were at their peak?
like i said, just cause I'm not religious, doesn't mean
i don't believe in a higher power.
cause only random stuff like that can come from some place good.
deconstructing the monster
over the last couple of months, i've felt like i was on a completely different planet -
completely foreign land.
yet again i am referring to my new space of existence: the place where I earn my bread and butter.
'been thinking a lot about it particulary this week.
hanging out with R has helped me to process my experience
on a deeper level.
with all things considered (growing pains and all)
I would say that this whole thing is yet another challenge.
It's simply up to me on how to step up to the plate (or not).
probably the most daunting thing is the fact that I have no roots
in this new field.
no source of passion and motivation except to make ends meet.
and there is also the point that it is a corporate environment, which
I have been against being a part of all these years- a contradiction to my values.
suffice it to say it's been tough to truly be open to the experience.
but after the several "processing sessions" i had with R,
i realized that maybe that was my problem: I haven't allowed myself
to fully embrace my new placement because i didn't want it
to compromise my values or my person.
in effect, i had given up the chance to grow. to grow.
so perhaps then, i thought, the best thing for me is
NOT to assimilate, but rather to adapt and take risks,
but more importantly, to evaluate my situation and find solutions to things
that are more challenging.
after all, I need the money right? :P (j/k)
nevertheless, i was happy that SOME kind of light
broke through this thick skull.
seriously!
i had been struggling for weeks,trying to figure out
why the hell I couldn't make significant changes in my
situation. and believe me, I was struGGALING!
I know I'm kinda mindless sometimes, but I didn't think I was a complete idiot!
but...
so even though that piece of the puzzle is almost solved.
I still feel like that feather in the Forrest Gump movie -
still floating aimlessly...but with a definite destination.
then again, i should be used to that by now.
my college years were the same.
I remember feeling scared a lot of times because
of the hazy future that lay ahead of me.
but still, things worked out in the end.
i guess it was just a matter of moving forward, taking risks
and having some kind of hope that there was a purpose to everything.
I still believe that to be true.
naks!
I like this new interface for posting on blogger.
now if I can only figure out what the hell happened to my damn archives.
just cause i'm not religious
...doesn't mean I don't believe in a higher power
in fact, once again, the powers that be came to my rescue again.
for 3 days straight
I randomly ran into my best friend, R,
and got a chance to spend quality time with her.
once again, in the 16 + years we've been friends, we find ourselves
on parallel paths.
I'm convinced we are soul sisters. there
{interruption: creepy crawler coming towards my keyboard. eck!}
...there is no doubt about that.
we're both going through the same thing with our new
jobs. ironically, both of us are working in completely new fields,
and, unfortunately, are going through a lot of growing pains.
the similarities in our problems are uncanny.
seriously, we could be the same person.
the best thing about it is that
we've been able to go through the shit together.
and for me, that's been the biggest blessing!
and how timely was it that we were able
to share so much quality time together this week
when both of our situations were at their peak?
like i said, just cause I'm not religious, doesn't mean
i don't believe in a higher power.
cause only random stuff like that can come from some place good.
deconstructing the monster
over the last couple of months, i've felt like i was on a completely different planet -
completely foreign land.
yet again i am referring to my new space of existence: the place where I earn my bread and butter.
'been thinking a lot about it particulary this week.
hanging out with R has helped me to process my experience
on a deeper level.
with all things considered (growing pains and all)
I would say that this whole thing is yet another challenge.
It's simply up to me on how to step up to the plate (or not).
probably the most daunting thing is the fact that I have no roots
in this new field.
no source of passion and motivation except to make ends meet.
and there is also the point that it is a corporate environment, which
I have been against being a part of all these years- a contradiction to my values.
suffice it to say it's been tough to truly be open to the experience.
but after the several "processing sessions" i had with R,
i realized that maybe that was my problem: I haven't allowed myself
to fully embrace my new placement because i didn't want it
to compromise my values or my person.
in effect, i had given up the chance to grow. to grow.
so perhaps then, i thought, the best thing for me is
NOT to assimilate, but rather to adapt and take risks,
but more importantly, to evaluate my situation and find solutions to things
that are more challenging.
after all, I need the money right? :P (j/k)
nevertheless, i was happy that SOME kind of light
broke through this thick skull.
seriously!
i had been struggling for weeks,trying to figure out
why the hell I couldn't make significant changes in my
situation. and believe me, I was struGGALING!
I know I'm kinda mindless sometimes, but I didn't think I was a complete idiot!
but...
so even though that piece of the puzzle is almost solved.
I still feel like that feather in the Forrest Gump movie -
still floating aimlessly...but with a definite destination.
then again, i should be used to that by now.
my college years were the same.
I remember feeling scared a lot of times because
of the hazy future that lay ahead of me.
but still, things worked out in the end.
i guess it was just a matter of moving forward, taking risks
and having some kind of hope that there was a purpose to everything.
I still believe that to be true.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
10:35a
the house is cooling down as I type.
unfortunately, it's cooled down form 100 degrees to 90!
HELLO?!
IT'S LIKE A FREAKIN' OVEN IN HERE!!!!
Oh my GAWD!
I like sunshine and all,
but this crazy heatwave is killin' me.
my poor boyfriend unfortunately
got a fever today, too...
just when the house was burning up.
no wonder his temperature went up to 102 degrees.
The city was even in the 90's today.
My friend/boss took me and my other co-worker out to lunch
and the 4-block walk there was sweltering.
I thought I was gonna melt on the spot!
Lunch was super yummy, though. :)
I was happy when I got back to the office.
Ahhh...air conditioning.
maybe tomorrow
hmmm...a lot's gone through my noggin'
over the last couple of days.
lots of stuff that I've been waiting to write about here.
but my brain is fried at the moment - toasted from the
hell-ish weather.
right now, i'm obsessing about
how the hell to decorate my office space.
it's so grey and boring right now.
'gonna go look at my Ikea catalogs for
some inspiration.
will write more tomorrow.
the house is cooling down as I type.
unfortunately, it's cooled down form 100 degrees to 90!
HELLO?!
IT'S LIKE A FREAKIN' OVEN IN HERE!!!!
Oh my GAWD!
I like sunshine and all,
but this crazy heatwave is killin' me.
my poor boyfriend unfortunately
got a fever today, too...
just when the house was burning up.
no wonder his temperature went up to 102 degrees.
The city was even in the 90's today.
My friend/boss took me and my other co-worker out to lunch
and the 4-block walk there was sweltering.
I thought I was gonna melt on the spot!
Lunch was super yummy, though. :)
I was happy when I got back to the office.
Ahhh...air conditioning.
maybe tomorrow
hmmm...a lot's gone through my noggin'
over the last couple of days.
lots of stuff that I've been waiting to write about here.
but my brain is fried at the moment - toasted from the
hell-ish weather.
right now, i'm obsessing about
how the hell to decorate my office space.
it's so grey and boring right now.
'gonna go look at my Ikea catalogs for
some inspiration.
will write more tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
11:19p
ray of light
hmm...today I finally "tried harder" and got my ass to the gym at 6:30a
for 15 min. of cardio and 15 min. of stretching.
not bad considering I've barely been able to get up earlier than 7:30a to get ready for work AND
i haven't worked out regularly for months!
today I was able to spend more time with my best friend, R.
we ran into eachother this morning at BART again.
a BART ride is so much more pleasant when you spend
it tsis mis-ing with one of your favorite peeps in the world.
today my bf and I FINALLY had lunch with our friend who
just moved up here from L.A.
he's been trying for weeks to get together with us.
thank goodness we could eat lunch outside together
on a beautiful sunny day.
man, the weather in the city was perfect!
and the best part:
today, I finally got somewhere good with my work situation.
I can breathe a little lighter now
even though my work load is still as crazy as ever.
it's just nice to be able to communicate what you're feeling
and have it affirmed.
a special order of So-en, please
man, i'm out of underwear again!
where do they all go?!
I'm experiencing the same dilemma with my socks, too.
well, part of the problem is, i haven't folded all of my newly washed clothes yet.
ok, so what if I washed them last week!
A laundry basket is a perfect storage space for clothes.
You can even stack them to look like drawers. ;)
in any case, I need to find a way to take some extra time
out of my lunch hour to hit The Gap.
I like the underwear I bought there.
*shakes head*
so maybe there's elves stealing my undies?
I swear I have more underwear than what's in my drawers.
hi ho, hi ho...
so tomorrow is "hump" day.
no, I don't mean hump as in fornication.
plain and simply: tomorrow is wednesday. middle of the week. nothing special.
'gotta think of something creative to make tomorrow
a little less dreary.
hmm...buy underwear at The Gap on my lunch hour?
can i play?
i'm not quite sure what compelled me, but
one day last week I decided that i wanted to re-learn how to play
basketball.
I'm not looking to join the WNBA or anything.
I just wanted to teach my body how to play the sport I used to play back in
elementary and jr. high school.
I was pretty athletic in my hay day.
I joined almost every sport that was offered each season.
my favorite by far is volleyball, followed by tennis.
2 weak ankles and 40 lbs. later, I can barely get myself to
work out regularly.
i asked my bf to go through drills with me.
i was never really trained that well, but I know the basics.
I just want to re-train my body in those old movements.
It's kinda like dancing.
It's not easy to be a dancer, but if you train yourself consistently,
your body will learn
and before you know it, you'll be J. Timberlake
strutting all the hardest hip hop moves.
ok, maybe not THAT good, but it doesn't hurt to try.
but I digress..
lemme just digress myself to bed. it's almost midnight.
til next time...
ray of light
hmm...today I finally "tried harder" and got my ass to the gym at 6:30a
for 15 min. of cardio and 15 min. of stretching.
not bad considering I've barely been able to get up earlier than 7:30a to get ready for work AND
i haven't worked out regularly for months!
today I was able to spend more time with my best friend, R.
we ran into eachother this morning at BART again.
a BART ride is so much more pleasant when you spend
it tsis mis-ing with one of your favorite peeps in the world.
today my bf and I FINALLY had lunch with our friend who
just moved up here from L.A.
he's been trying for weeks to get together with us.
thank goodness we could eat lunch outside together
on a beautiful sunny day.
man, the weather in the city was perfect!
and the best part:
today, I finally got somewhere good with my work situation.
I can breathe a little lighter now
even though my work load is still as crazy as ever.
it's just nice to be able to communicate what you're feeling
and have it affirmed.
a special order of So-en, please
man, i'm out of underwear again!
where do they all go?!
I'm experiencing the same dilemma with my socks, too.
well, part of the problem is, i haven't folded all of my newly washed clothes yet.
ok, so what if I washed them last week!
A laundry basket is a perfect storage space for clothes.
You can even stack them to look like drawers. ;)
in any case, I need to find a way to take some extra time
out of my lunch hour to hit The Gap.
I like the underwear I bought there.
*shakes head*
so maybe there's elves stealing my undies?
I swear I have more underwear than what's in my drawers.
hi ho, hi ho...
so tomorrow is "hump" day.
no, I don't mean hump as in fornication.
plain and simply: tomorrow is wednesday. middle of the week. nothing special.
'gotta think of something creative to make tomorrow
a little less dreary.
hmm...buy underwear at The Gap on my lunch hour?
can i play?
i'm not quite sure what compelled me, but
one day last week I decided that i wanted to re-learn how to play
basketball.
I'm not looking to join the WNBA or anything.
I just wanted to teach my body how to play the sport I used to play back in
elementary and jr. high school.
I was pretty athletic in my hay day.
I joined almost every sport that was offered each season.
my favorite by far is volleyball, followed by tennis.
2 weak ankles and 40 lbs. later, I can barely get myself to
work out regularly.
i asked my bf to go through drills with me.
i was never really trained that well, but I know the basics.
I just want to re-train my body in those old movements.
It's kinda like dancing.
It's not easy to be a dancer, but if you train yourself consistently,
your body will learn
and before you know it, you'll be J. Timberlake
strutting all the hardest hip hop moves.
ok, maybe not THAT good, but it doesn't hurt to try.
but I digress..
lemme just digress myself to bed. it's almost midnight.
til next time...
Monday, June 23, 2003
8:45p
i feel honored to have the opportunity to share the same space
with people as a massage therapist.
dunno why I just realized this now.
I'm sure i felt it before but it just didn't completely register in my brain.
I'm finally inspired to write about my journey with massage, though.
wedding day
yesterday's wedding was beautiful.
got a chance to catch up with friends that i never really hang out with.
'didn't get home til midnight, though, so I was a zombie today at work.
there was a little dilemma with the lack of chairs, but everyone lived.
so no harm done.
you should have seen the beautiful japanese garden landscape that
faced the crowd. It was breath-taking.
We were basically at the foot of a beautiful hillside, complete with a waterfall.
That's got to be the most beautiful spot to have a wedding ceremony
besides having one on the beach.
the only thing that bugged: rocks.
the ceremony area was paved with rocks and gravel - not the soft stuff (grass) -
so my shoes were all nice and dusty by the end of the ceremony.
eh, what's a little dust for my good friends? ;)
it was still worth it.
i feel honored to have the opportunity to share the same space
with people as a massage therapist.
dunno why I just realized this now.
I'm sure i felt it before but it just didn't completely register in my brain.
I'm finally inspired to write about my journey with massage, though.
wedding day
yesterday's wedding was beautiful.
got a chance to catch up with friends that i never really hang out with.
'didn't get home til midnight, though, so I was a zombie today at work.
there was a little dilemma with the lack of chairs, but everyone lived.
so no harm done.
you should have seen the beautiful japanese garden landscape that
faced the crowd. It was breath-taking.
We were basically at the foot of a beautiful hillside, complete with a waterfall.
That's got to be the most beautiful spot to have a wedding ceremony
besides having one on the beach.
the only thing that bugged: rocks.
the ceremony area was paved with rocks and gravel - not the soft stuff (grass) -
so my shoes were all nice and dusty by the end of the ceremony.
eh, what's a little dust for my good friends? ;)
it was still worth it.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
11:40a
open house
wow! yesterday was unbelievable.
after I finished my entry yesterday, my day got better and better.
once again the powers that be took care of me.
all day from 9am til I went to bed, the phone rang incessantly.
I was home alone since my bf went off to get his "hair did", as Missy Elliot would say,
in berkeley.
I never did make it there myself since one of those 20 phone calls I got was from my parents
who said they were coming over earlier than planned.
In any case, the first phone call at 9 am was from telemarketers.
They called a couple more times
followed by a call from my "little sister" in Berkeley,.
followed by my dad (who called 3 times, to tell me the same thing each time),
followed by a call from my bf (as he waited under the hair dryer for his new highlights to get done - naks!),
followed by another call from my bf (to make me jealous that he was walking around telegraph avenue on a beautiful day),
followed by a call from our two friends, E & S (to ask if they could come over later to check out my bf's pictures),
followed by a calll from our other good friend, E (who I chatted with for 30 minutes ),
followed by the doorbell (my parents were at the door packed with filipino food galore),
followed by a call from by bf again (to ask me some random question),
followed by a call from my brother (to ask if he could come over and take a shower at my place),
followed by a call from my friend, M, who is getting married today (to ask if he could take me up on my offer for a massage session later that day),
followed by another doorbell ring (it was E & S),
followed by a call from my dad (to tell me he was gonna pick me up soon so we could go to the hardware store),
followed by a call from my friend A (to ask if we were still on for our scheduled back-to-back massage sessions for him and his wife)
....and in between all those calls, we (E, S, my mom, dad and I, and my brother)
had the lunch my mom prepared: nilaga, rice, fried fish with bagoong and tomatoes,
bread pudding, leche flan, and ice cream.
after my massage sessions with A and his wife, T, we ate dinner (same food, different company)
and hung out for a little while talking and watchinh Animatrix.
Suffice it to say, I didn't feel down anymore.
I was just full with the realization that life is more than one aspect of it (i.e. my work situation).
There's so much more to be thankful for and happy about.
thanks to "the powers that be" for reminding me of that yesterday.
Once again, I was blessed.
*happy sigh*
open house
wow! yesterday was unbelievable.
after I finished my entry yesterday, my day got better and better.
once again the powers that be took care of me.
all day from 9am til I went to bed, the phone rang incessantly.
I was home alone since my bf went off to get his "hair did", as Missy Elliot would say,
in berkeley.
I never did make it there myself since one of those 20 phone calls I got was from my parents
who said they were coming over earlier than planned.
In any case, the first phone call at 9 am was from telemarketers.
They called a couple more times
followed by a call from my "little sister" in Berkeley,.
followed by my dad (who called 3 times, to tell me the same thing each time),
followed by a call from my bf (as he waited under the hair dryer for his new highlights to get done - naks!),
followed by another call from my bf (to make me jealous that he was walking around telegraph avenue on a beautiful day),
followed by a call from our two friends, E & S (to ask if they could come over later to check out my bf's pictures),
followed by a calll from our other good friend, E (who I chatted with for 30 minutes ),
followed by the doorbell (my parents were at the door packed with filipino food galore),
followed by a call from by bf again (to ask me some random question),
followed by a call from my brother (to ask if he could come over and take a shower at my place),
followed by a call from my friend, M, who is getting married today (to ask if he could take me up on my offer for a massage session later that day),
followed by another doorbell ring (it was E & S),
followed by a call from my dad (to tell me he was gonna pick me up soon so we could go to the hardware store),
followed by a call from my friend A (to ask if we were still on for our scheduled back-to-back massage sessions for him and his wife)
....and in between all those calls, we (E, S, my mom, dad and I, and my brother)
had the lunch my mom prepared: nilaga, rice, fried fish with bagoong and tomatoes,
bread pudding, leche flan, and ice cream.
after my massage sessions with A and his wife, T, we ate dinner (same food, different company)
and hung out for a little while talking and watchinh Animatrix.
Suffice it to say, I didn't feel down anymore.
I was just full with the realization that life is more than one aspect of it (i.e. my work situation).
There's so much more to be thankful for and happy about.
thanks to "the powers that be" for reminding me of that yesterday.
Once again, I was blessed.
*happy sigh*
Saturday, June 21, 2003
10:47a
searching for a soul
...cause mine's been a little down-trodden lately.
spent all night looking at links on friends' blogs and found
some super interesting folks - not to mention talented artists and writers.
wow!
I guess that's one good thing about overpopulation - you get a good variety of
people to get inspiration from.
work.
I think i'm letting it consume me too much mentally.
whatever happened to my promises to myself?
well, when you're trying to learn something that you've never
done before, in a field that you've never worked in,
I guess all of those promises go out the window for the sake of not looking
like a complete idiot.
all I can say is, at least I'm not where I used to be!
did some research on grad schools early this morning, too.
preferably in New York.
I'm still afraid to pursue a Masters. Not sure I can cut it academically, but
love the thought of proving myself academically, since I didn't do so well in college.
Besides that, I'd love to see my father's face when I walk across the stage to get
that diploma.
I owe it to him...even though I probably shouldn't feel that way, I do.
He gave up his Masters degree for me just so that we could immigrate and have a better life here in America.
He already completed his first year of his MBA I think, but did not continue on
because we needed to leave.
I think I owe him that.
come to think of it, I'm always owing somebody something - primary
my credit card merchants, but we won't go there.
Like I told my friend yesterday, a man is not an island...even though
we wish we were on one by ourselves sometimes.
still feeling like I'm just floating in the wind right now.
i guess it's just the way it is now that I'm no longer an outsider looking in.
it doesn't really help that I don't have anyone to process stuff with at work.
everyone kinda does their own thing....which is kinda nice on some level.
you just do your work...no need to collaborate with anyone...then, go home.
it helped rejuvinate my spirit in the beginning (especially after having gone through all the drama at the other place),
but now I feel like it kills me little by little everyday.
don't get me wrong, it's a great place to work and the people are all friendly...
but it's definitely not the grassroots, organic, passion-driven environment of some of the non-profit/
social work organizations I've worked for in the past.
It's just a job.
I think this is the first time I've ever worked in a place like that. wierd.
At least I can be proud of the fact that most of my life I've been able to follow my heart
and work for causes that I believe in and am passionate about.
and my measly pay was never an issue.
I wonder if its too late for me to still live out that luxury...
especially with the economy the way it is.
especially since I'm pretty tired of not being able to make an above average salary.
especially since I'm just not made like the rest of the population.
I sound like a litte kid.
Hello? remember? the world revolves around money.
and money = power.
that's pretty much the bottom-line.
even though we try to define life for ourselves.
ya, I'm still a little kid....
I still won't buy into all that BULLSHIT.
(I hate being an optimist sometimes)
intermission
eh, i think this drama queen needs a little air.
lord knows I need it!
'gonna head out and hang out with one of my "little sisters"
up in ber-kili-kili.
I need a little inspiration from someone who is still livin' out her dreams.
thank goodness for sunshine outside. I'm getting sick of
this cloudy weather all the time. I'm starting to feel like I'm in
freakin' seattle!
til next time...
searching for a soul
...cause mine's been a little down-trodden lately.
spent all night looking at links on friends' blogs and found
some super interesting folks - not to mention talented artists and writers.
wow!
I guess that's one good thing about overpopulation - you get a good variety of
people to get inspiration from.
work.
I think i'm letting it consume me too much mentally.
whatever happened to my promises to myself?
well, when you're trying to learn something that you've never
done before, in a field that you've never worked in,
I guess all of those promises go out the window for the sake of not looking
like a complete idiot.
all I can say is, at least I'm not where I used to be!
did some research on grad schools early this morning, too.
preferably in New York.
I'm still afraid to pursue a Masters. Not sure I can cut it academically, but
love the thought of proving myself academically, since I didn't do so well in college.
Besides that, I'd love to see my father's face when I walk across the stage to get
that diploma.
I owe it to him...even though I probably shouldn't feel that way, I do.
He gave up his Masters degree for me just so that we could immigrate and have a better life here in America.
He already completed his first year of his MBA I think, but did not continue on
because we needed to leave.
I think I owe him that.
come to think of it, I'm always owing somebody something - primary
my credit card merchants, but we won't go there.
Like I told my friend yesterday, a man is not an island...even though
we wish we were on one by ourselves sometimes.
still feeling like I'm just floating in the wind right now.
i guess it's just the way it is now that I'm no longer an outsider looking in.
it doesn't really help that I don't have anyone to process stuff with at work.
everyone kinda does their own thing....which is kinda nice on some level.
you just do your work...no need to collaborate with anyone...then, go home.
it helped rejuvinate my spirit in the beginning (especially after having gone through all the drama at the other place),
but now I feel like it kills me little by little everyday.
don't get me wrong, it's a great place to work and the people are all friendly...
but it's definitely not the grassroots, organic, passion-driven environment of some of the non-profit/
social work organizations I've worked for in the past.
It's just a job.
I think this is the first time I've ever worked in a place like that. wierd.
At least I can be proud of the fact that most of my life I've been able to follow my heart
and work for causes that I believe in and am passionate about.
and my measly pay was never an issue.
I wonder if its too late for me to still live out that luxury...
especially with the economy the way it is.
especially since I'm pretty tired of not being able to make an above average salary.
especially since I'm just not made like the rest of the population.
I sound like a litte kid.
Hello? remember? the world revolves around money.
and money = power.
that's pretty much the bottom-line.
even though we try to define life for ourselves.
ya, I'm still a little kid....
I still won't buy into all that BULLSHIT.
(I hate being an optimist sometimes)
intermission
eh, i think this drama queen needs a little air.
lord knows I need it!
'gonna head out and hang out with one of my "little sisters"
up in ber-kili-kili.
I need a little inspiration from someone who is still livin' out her dreams.
thank goodness for sunshine outside. I'm getting sick of
this cloudy weather all the time. I'm starting to feel like I'm in
freakin' seattle!
til next time...
Friday, June 20, 2003
welcome to new blogger:
hey El! whattup?!
one of my best friends since 3rd grade.
one of the wittiest folks I know.
her family gave me my first job EVER at their dry cleaners.
she towers over me, my whole family...and my fridge (since 3rd grade). ;)
somehow we've stayed "connected" over all these years,
no matter how little we see of eachother,
growing from eachother's experiences,
mostly...from her fighting spirit. she rocks!
for another perspective on our friend, Len, the movie
director, who will be marrying Kate Beckinsale, check out her blog.
r a n d o m
El: remember that time we went on a field trip and took BART?
I think we were in 5th grade or something...and all we did was laugh hysterically from making fun of
people around us? i remember we laughed so hard, we couldn't stop.
I remember we were laughing at this old man cause he reminded us of "grumpy" from The Seven Dwarfs.
anyway, I remembered that while I was riding BART to work one morning.
random, but it's funny what things this old brain still has in storage.
hey El! whattup?!
one of my best friends since 3rd grade.
one of the wittiest folks I know.
her family gave me my first job EVER at their dry cleaners.
she towers over me, my whole family...and my fridge (since 3rd grade). ;)
somehow we've stayed "connected" over all these years,
no matter how little we see of eachother,
growing from eachother's experiences,
mostly...from her fighting spirit. she rocks!
for another perspective on our friend, Len, the movie
director, who will be marrying Kate Beckinsale, check out her blog.
r a n d o m
El: remember that time we went on a field trip and took BART?
I think we were in 5th grade or something...and all we did was laugh hysterically from making fun of
people around us? i remember we laughed so hard, we couldn't stop.
I remember we were laughing at this old man cause he reminded us of "grumpy" from The Seven Dwarfs.
anyway, I remembered that while I was riding BART to work one morning.
random, but it's funny what things this old brain still has in storage.
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
2 degrees of seperation
i've been freaking out for the last hour or two.
'just found out that one of my friends (who I went to jr. high and high school with)
proposed to Kate Beckinsale!
hello!?
and she accepted.
he's actually a newbie movie director and
finally got his shot at the big screen.
he started out directing music videos.
in fact, he even directed Premier's first music video.
remember them? the pilipina trio singing group?
yeah...they kinda faded out, but they were good.
anyhoo, Kate is actually starring in my friend's first movie, the underworld.
It's his directorial debut. He actually also co-wrote and co-produced this film
AND
was able to get backing from the big guns: sony pictures.
I'm still in awe.
and to think that this was the guy who
taught me how to
peg my pants back in Mr. Vargas' social studies class
in 7th grade.
now that i think of it, I actually have an original drawing of his
in one of my numerous slam books!
I'm just so happy that he's been able to live out his dreams.
So happy for you, Len!!!!
i've been freaking out for the last hour or two.
'just found out that one of my friends (who I went to jr. high and high school with)
proposed to Kate Beckinsale!
hello!?
and she accepted.
he's actually a newbie movie director and
finally got his shot at the big screen.
he started out directing music videos.
in fact, he even directed Premier's first music video.
remember them? the pilipina trio singing group?
yeah...they kinda faded out, but they were good.
anyhoo, Kate is actually starring in my friend's first movie, the underworld.
It's his directorial debut. He actually also co-wrote and co-produced this film
AND
was able to get backing from the big guns: sony pictures.
I'm still in awe.
and to think that this was the guy who
taught me how to
peg my pants back in Mr. Vargas' social studies class
in 7th grade.
now that i think of it, I actually have an original drawing of his
in one of my numerous slam books!
I'm just so happy that he's been able to live out his dreams.
So happy for you, Len!!!!
Monday, June 16, 2003
if it weren't for...
my tense neck and shoulders,
I wouldn't have gotten this lovely, fat migraine.
And if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be able to
have an excuse to NOT do the things I'm supposed to be doing
right now...
like washing my dirty drawers and work clothes for the week.
argh! why again can't i wear sweats to work?
what exactly is it about sweat pants and a t-shirt connote "unprofessional" & "incompetent"?
I mean, let's get real...all I do everyday is sit in front of the computer
type up paperwork, get up, go to the bathroom,
fill my mug with water, get up, buy lunch, eat lunch
everyday, monday through friday, every month?
I always wondered why.
truly, as much as I like getting all dressed up once in a while,
I would rather be in a nice T and comfortable jeans.
And as much I enjoy putting on makeup to look all done up
and actually spend good money on the stuff,
my skin hates it.
As a result, my skin fights back by turning all dry and flakey
and itches like there is no other itch in the world
that is as bad.
and it doesn't help that my eyelids are naturally dark...something I inherited from
my mom's side of the family.
that's why sometimes people mistake me for east Indian.
well, that is when they aren't mistaking me for a Latina/Spanish/Mexican woman.
But I digress...
perhaps
I've actually been pretty perplexed lately about
the daunting realization that
I am (at this point in my life) unable to
find something that I am utterly passionate about doing in life.
I'm thinking this whole time that it probably has to do with the
fact that I am innately...a LAZY ASS.
But just today, I also realized that there's a little more to it.
I've been so programmed to find my motivation to
accomplish things by the mere fact that
a) I have to (like going to school and taking a shower)
b) It meets the needs of someone I really care about.
c) I want someone to like me (or rather, I don't want them to hate me)
I guess it's been difficult to simply do things cause I want to.
I always feel like there has to be some grand end result or
some need that is being fulfilled.
Otherwise, there really is no true purpose to engage in it wholeheartedly.
Or perhaps I really am just a Lazy Ass?
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
my tense neck and shoulders,
I wouldn't have gotten this lovely, fat migraine.
And if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be able to
have an excuse to NOT do the things I'm supposed to be doing
right now...
like washing my dirty drawers and work clothes for the week.
argh! why again can't i wear sweats to work?
what exactly is it about sweat pants and a t-shirt connote "unprofessional" & "incompetent"?
I mean, let's get real...all I do everyday is sit in front of the computer
type up paperwork, get up, go to the bathroom,
fill my mug with water, get up, buy lunch, eat lunch
everyday, monday through friday, every month?
I always wondered why.
truly, as much as I like getting all dressed up once in a while,
I would rather be in a nice T and comfortable jeans.
And as much I enjoy putting on makeup to look all done up
and actually spend good money on the stuff,
my skin hates it.
As a result, my skin fights back by turning all dry and flakey
and itches like there is no other itch in the world
that is as bad.
and it doesn't help that my eyelids are naturally dark...something I inherited from
my mom's side of the family.
that's why sometimes people mistake me for east Indian.
well, that is when they aren't mistaking me for a Latina/Spanish/Mexican woman.
But I digress...
perhaps
I've actually been pretty perplexed lately about
the daunting realization that
I am (at this point in my life) unable to
find something that I am utterly passionate about doing in life.
I'm thinking this whole time that it probably has to do with the
fact that I am innately...a LAZY ASS.
But just today, I also realized that there's a little more to it.
I've been so programmed to find my motivation to
accomplish things by the mere fact that
a) I have to (like going to school and taking a shower)
b) It meets the needs of someone I really care about.
c) I want someone to like me (or rather, I don't want them to hate me)
I guess it's been difficult to simply do things cause I want to.
I always feel like there has to be some grand end result or
some need that is being fulfilled.
Otherwise, there really is no true purpose to engage in it wholeheartedly.
Or perhaps I really am just a Lazy Ass?
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
Friday, June 13, 2003
11:22a
is this right?
..do I actually have some free time
where my brain isn't completely fried from sitting at a desk all day,
or my body so crapped out...from sitting at a desk all day?
goodness....I hardly know what to do with myself!
I guess I should play catch up..yet AGAIN....
LALA Land
note to self: never leave the Bay Area at almost 11p to drive down to LA.
put it this way, we didn't get to our friend's house in LA until 4:30 in the morning!
the nice thing was that the entire weekend was all about
talking to eachother...quality time.
it was most definitely...
(ok, never mind. I'll blog later. gotta go back to work again)
is this right?
..do I actually have some free time
where my brain isn't completely fried from sitting at a desk all day,
or my body so crapped out...from sitting at a desk all day?
goodness....I hardly know what to do with myself!
I guess I should play catch up..yet AGAIN....
LALA Land
note to self: never leave the Bay Area at almost 11p to drive down to LA.
put it this way, we didn't get to our friend's house in LA until 4:30 in the morning!
the nice thing was that the entire weekend was all about
talking to eachother...quality time.
it was most definitely...
(ok, never mind. I'll blog later. gotta go back to work again)
Friday, June 06, 2003
11:59a
I'm bad
..I'm really not feelin' like doing work today.
too bad I have
about a 2 foot pile of client files to work on, though.
I'm feelin' kinda antsy and lethargic at the same time.
lethargic...because I haven't worked out since last Saturday
and antsy....because I'm leaving for LA tonight.
ugh! I hate this Friday-itis!!
(hehehe...'just heard one of my co-workers swearing like a mad man...
he's been doing that all morning long! 'must be something going on with
one of his cases)
anyhow, last night some of my ex-co-workers came over for dinner at my house.
i cooked up a fat pan of paella and my friends made some
yummy gazpacho and corn on the cob.
we ate our lovely dinner with some red wine
and had rocky road ice cream for dessert.
it was nice to catch up again.
it seems that there is always some big news everyone has
to share everytime we get together once a month.
they also got a chance to take a look at some of
my bf's photographs and all his crazy photo equipment.
they enjoyed that.
my brother also came over last night, too.
he recently purchased a rubik's cube and
solved it in a day.
he scrambled it up and then brought it over last night.
he tried to show me how to solve it, but I'm afraid my
brain just doesn't work the way his does.
he was blessed with the analytical/mathematical brain.
not me.
wednesday
i forgot to blog about my day on wednesday.
me and my bf went to Ikea after work to check out some
bathroom sinks and vanities.
we're planning to upgrade and remodel our bathroom fixtures, cabinets and sink.
it's about 20 years old, so it's about time.
i love ikea. i always get inspired when i walk through there.
unfortunately, we only made it through the showroom and not the
market place.
that's a good thing for me. 'keeps me from spending money i shouldn't
be touching.
later that night I took a trip to the grocery store to buy stuff for last
night's dinner.
then, I packed my clothes and things for our LA trip.
it's all nothing exciting really, but after you've worked all day 5 days a week,
those little trips to the grocery or to Ikea are big treats! ;)
anyway, there's more i want to blog about but i forgot all of it.
i've been knee deep in thought the whole week about stuff
...i can't believe I can't recall any of it.
well, that's probably a sign that i should get to work.
i've been pretty slow all week.
i need to get a lot accomplished today.
til next time...
I'm bad
..I'm really not feelin' like doing work today.
too bad I have
about a 2 foot pile of client files to work on, though.
I'm feelin' kinda antsy and lethargic at the same time.
lethargic...because I haven't worked out since last Saturday
and antsy....because I'm leaving for LA tonight.
ugh! I hate this Friday-itis!!
(hehehe...'just heard one of my co-workers swearing like a mad man...
he's been doing that all morning long! 'must be something going on with
one of his cases)
anyhow, last night some of my ex-co-workers came over for dinner at my house.
i cooked up a fat pan of paella and my friends made some
yummy gazpacho and corn on the cob.
we ate our lovely dinner with some red wine
and had rocky road ice cream for dessert.
it was nice to catch up again.
it seems that there is always some big news everyone has
to share everytime we get together once a month.
they also got a chance to take a look at some of
my bf's photographs and all his crazy photo equipment.
they enjoyed that.
my brother also came over last night, too.
he recently purchased a rubik's cube and
solved it in a day.
he scrambled it up and then brought it over last night.
he tried to show me how to solve it, but I'm afraid my
brain just doesn't work the way his does.
he was blessed with the analytical/mathematical brain.
not me.
wednesday
i forgot to blog about my day on wednesday.
me and my bf went to Ikea after work to check out some
bathroom sinks and vanities.
we're planning to upgrade and remodel our bathroom fixtures, cabinets and sink.
it's about 20 years old, so it's about time.
i love ikea. i always get inspired when i walk through there.
unfortunately, we only made it through the showroom and not the
market place.
that's a good thing for me. 'keeps me from spending money i shouldn't
be touching.
later that night I took a trip to the grocery store to buy stuff for last
night's dinner.
then, I packed my clothes and things for our LA trip.
it's all nothing exciting really, but after you've worked all day 5 days a week,
those little trips to the grocery or to Ikea are big treats! ;)
anyway, there's more i want to blog about but i forgot all of it.
i've been knee deep in thought the whole week about stuff
...i can't believe I can't recall any of it.
well, that's probably a sign that i should get to work.
i've been pretty slow all week.
i need to get a lot accomplished today.
til next time...
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
12:32p
naks naman!
wow wow wow...I finally finished both Bev and Gary's versions of their
engagement.
I don't feel anything but pure, honest joy for the both of them.
it's one of those things where you just shake your head,
cover your mouth in awe,
and continously feel uplifted for the rest of the day.
..and the whole thing couldn't have happened any more perfectly.
it was just...wow.
again, I'm so incredibly happy for the both of you.
Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of the world...
it totally made my day. :)
reunited
yesterday was most definitely a great start to a long work week.
I was so happy to finally get to see my ex-co-workers again.
It was so great to hear that the crappy situation we went through
together in our work place has gotten much better, much easier to tolerate.
they sooooo deserve the break from the craziness.
and any little respite from that drama goes such a long way.
hearing their stories simply made me smile.
it lifted off such a humoungous load from my shoulders.
maybe I won't have anymore nightmares about that
god-forsaken place and be able to truly move forward.
I'm just looking forward to continuing to build the relationships
we started as friends. I'm gonna see about maybe making this get
together a regular thing. Maybe once a month or something -
just like I do with my other set of ex-co-workers.
The other cool thing was that I got a chance to hang out
with my brother last night.
I took him out for dinner and we catched up on lots of stuff:
his graduation, his friends, future.
It was good to laugh with him and hear all about the
crazy stuff that had been going on with him during his final semester in school.
My bf and I finally gave him his graduation gifts last night, too.
We were kinda getto-fabulous with our wrapping and home-made card, but
it was fun putting everything together.
We got my brother four books that reflected some of the things
he probably wasn't taught about in college:
- Rich Dad Poor Dad
- What Color is Your Parachute?
- The Food Revolution and...
- Personal Finance for Dummies
At the bottom of the bag was his "real" graduation gift:
A homemade gift certificate worth a plane ticket anywhere in the U.S.
Well, it wasn't a limitless airfare, but just enough so that he wouldn't
have to spend a fortune to take a nice trip somewhere.
I'm hoping he uses it soon.
His R&R time is long overdue.
Later on that evening, my friend, D, from L.A. called and we chit-chatted for a while.
He just got laid off from his job of 7years.
He as doing quite well, though. In fact, we talked about all the short and long term
plans he had goin' on in his noggin.
It was exciting to hear it all.
In fact, I couldn't help but think how there are
so quite a few people I know who are in the same state of reflection and
evaluation about their lives.
I guess it's just that time.
In any case, I found it totally inspiring.
It made me think more about the short and long term
goals I wrote down and have been trying to implement
over the last month.
Contrary to my feelings of being uncomfortable with
totally and completely planning one's life to a "T",
I do believe that it is a good thing if done practically.
At the very least, it serves as a nice guide, even if you don't follow through with everything
(since life changes so frequently).
It's just nice to have some kind of direction, goal to strive for.
Oh yeah, and along these same lines,
I started reading passages from this book my friend gave me a long time ago.
It's called, Daily Meditations for People of Color. (I forgot the name of the author)
Anyhow, despite the hoaky sounding title, it's a cool thing to read
every once in a while.
Each page has a date with no year, cause, deally, you're supposed to read one passage a day.
And each passage is a quote or saying from someone or a from a particular culture or spiritual tradition.
It's been nice to get perspective from it every once in a while.
I'll try to post one of my favorite passages here
when I get a chance.
back to work
ok, i guess that's all for me for now.
gotta get back to the grind.
I'm still kinda wired from the mocha frapuccino I bought from Starbucks this morning,
so I might as well take advantage of the extra "energy"
while it lasts.
naks naman!
wow wow wow...I finally finished both Bev and Gary's versions of their
engagement.
I don't feel anything but pure, honest joy for the both of them.
it's one of those things where you just shake your head,
cover your mouth in awe,
and continously feel uplifted for the rest of the day.
..and the whole thing couldn't have happened any more perfectly.
it was just...wow.
again, I'm so incredibly happy for the both of you.
Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of the world...
it totally made my day. :)
reunited
yesterday was most definitely a great start to a long work week.
I was so happy to finally get to see my ex-co-workers again.
It was so great to hear that the crappy situation we went through
together in our work place has gotten much better, much easier to tolerate.
they sooooo deserve the break from the craziness.
and any little respite from that drama goes such a long way.
hearing their stories simply made me smile.
it lifted off such a humoungous load from my shoulders.
maybe I won't have anymore nightmares about that
god-forsaken place and be able to truly move forward.
I'm just looking forward to continuing to build the relationships
we started as friends. I'm gonna see about maybe making this get
together a regular thing. Maybe once a month or something -
just like I do with my other set of ex-co-workers.
The other cool thing was that I got a chance to hang out
with my brother last night.
I took him out for dinner and we catched up on lots of stuff:
his graduation, his friends, future.
It was good to laugh with him and hear all about the
crazy stuff that had been going on with him during his final semester in school.
My bf and I finally gave him his graduation gifts last night, too.
We were kinda getto-fabulous with our wrapping and home-made card, but
it was fun putting everything together.
We got my brother four books that reflected some of the things
he probably wasn't taught about in college:
- Rich Dad Poor Dad
- What Color is Your Parachute?
- The Food Revolution and...
- Personal Finance for Dummies
At the bottom of the bag was his "real" graduation gift:
A homemade gift certificate worth a plane ticket anywhere in the U.S.
Well, it wasn't a limitless airfare, but just enough so that he wouldn't
have to spend a fortune to take a nice trip somewhere.
I'm hoping he uses it soon.
His R&R time is long overdue.
Later on that evening, my friend, D, from L.A. called and we chit-chatted for a while.
He just got laid off from his job of 7years.
He as doing quite well, though. In fact, we talked about all the short and long term
plans he had goin' on in his noggin.
It was exciting to hear it all.
In fact, I couldn't help but think how there are
so quite a few people I know who are in the same state of reflection and
evaluation about their lives.
I guess it's just that time.
In any case, I found it totally inspiring.
It made me think more about the short and long term
goals I wrote down and have been trying to implement
over the last month.
Contrary to my feelings of being uncomfortable with
totally and completely planning one's life to a "T",
I do believe that it is a good thing if done practically.
At the very least, it serves as a nice guide, even if you don't follow through with everything
(since life changes so frequently).
It's just nice to have some kind of direction, goal to strive for.
Oh yeah, and along these same lines,
I started reading passages from this book my friend gave me a long time ago.
It's called, Daily Meditations for People of Color. (I forgot the name of the author)
Anyhow, despite the hoaky sounding title, it's a cool thing to read
every once in a while.
Each page has a date with no year, cause, deally, you're supposed to read one passage a day.
And each passage is a quote or saying from someone or a from a particular culture or spiritual tradition.
It's been nice to get perspective from it every once in a while.
I'll try to post one of my favorite passages here
when I get a chance.
back to work
ok, i guess that's all for me for now.
gotta get back to the grind.
I'm still kinda wired from the mocha frapuccino I bought from Starbucks this morning,
so I might as well take advantage of the extra "energy"
while it lasts.
Monday, June 02, 2003
3:31p
Congrats to the newly engaged!
cheers to Gary and Bev.
I haven't completely read through both of their blogs for the story, but
I definitely will tonight.
I was about to tag Beverly in her tagboard with congratulations,
but I was so excited for her that i decided to call and congratulate her myself.
enjoy cloud nine, Mz Luzon!!
spinach salad
me and my bf went to lunch together again today.
had my favorite spinach salad at this Focaccia place near
Embarcadero 4. I think it's actually called
Focaccia Cafe and Bakery...mmmm...it's the best place to have lunch!
actually, me and my bf have lunch together practically everyday.
it's kinda nice, especially on my long work days when I
have to go to the spa in the evening.
We sat outside of 101 California and had our lunch with the
rest of the noon time crowd.
the weather was sunny. not too cold and not too hot either.
I practically downed my entire spinach salad in a matter of minutes.
I guess I was pretty hungry.
I couldn't really be out too long since I had a couple of
filings that I needed to get out before the end of the day.
Nevertheless, I took my time walking back to my building....
I was wearing the same shoes that I sprained my ankle in three weeks ago.
'didn't want that to happen again, especially in the middle of
the financial district where there are LOADS of people walking past.
oh, and I was also able to call my bf's mom for a potential job
opportunity. It's for an immigration paralegal position just like mine.
I hope she gets it.
She's be working for one of the coolest Pinay immigration lawyers in the
community.
She's pretty dope for sure. she was actually quite integral in helping with the
Pilipino WWII Veteran's Equity Issue.
oops, gotta go!
Congrats to the newly engaged!
cheers to Gary and Bev.
I haven't completely read through both of their blogs for the story, but
I definitely will tonight.
I was about to tag Beverly in her tagboard with congratulations,
but I was so excited for her that i decided to call and congratulate her myself.
enjoy cloud nine, Mz Luzon!!
spinach salad
me and my bf went to lunch together again today.
had my favorite spinach salad at this Focaccia place near
Embarcadero 4. I think it's actually called
Focaccia Cafe and Bakery...mmmm...it's the best place to have lunch!
actually, me and my bf have lunch together practically everyday.
it's kinda nice, especially on my long work days when I
have to go to the spa in the evening.
We sat outside of 101 California and had our lunch with the
rest of the noon time crowd.
the weather was sunny. not too cold and not too hot either.
I practically downed my entire spinach salad in a matter of minutes.
I guess I was pretty hungry.
I couldn't really be out too long since I had a couple of
filings that I needed to get out before the end of the day.
Nevertheless, I took my time walking back to my building....
I was wearing the same shoes that I sprained my ankle in three weeks ago.
'didn't want that to happen again, especially in the middle of
the financial district where there are LOADS of people walking past.
oh, and I was also able to call my bf's mom for a potential job
opportunity. It's for an immigration paralegal position just like mine.
I hope she gets it.
She's be working for one of the coolest Pinay immigration lawyers in the
community.
She's pretty dope for sure. she was actually quite integral in helping with the
Pilipino WWII Veteran's Equity Issue.
oops, gotta go!
Sunday, June 01, 2003
10:41p
the regular stuff
(this one's especially for cousin Chi since I've been lagging on my blog entries)
aside from all the introspection going on in my head,
things have been hunky dory.
'spent last weekend (our 3-day Memorial day weekend)
at my brother's graduation that saturday.
had lunch in Milpitas afterwards with our family and my brother's friend's from
high school. then we went home. my brother followed and took a nap
on our couch before he headed out to hang out with friends.
I actually went to the gym and worked out...holy lord! I could hardly believe it myself!
last sunday, we went to the San Francisco Art Institute's
Master of Art Student Exhibit. It was so inspiring! wow! 'definitely
gave me all kinds of ideas.
There was one exhibit, in particular, that we went to see.
One of my bf's friends, MS, from his photography community did his Master's project
on these trees.
There's a place near Lake Chabot in Hayward where they created a memorial
to young victims of violence. They've planted a tree for every child killed from
a violent crime in Alameda County.
Right now there's a total of 169 trees and this guy, MS, took a picture of all of them
as his project.
He was actually able to capture them all in such a way where
each quite unique from the other.
MS printed black and white 3" x 5" pictures of each tree and posted it
symmetrically on the wall. Next to the wall, hanging from the ceiling was
this cable that had tags of paper strung on it.
and on the paper were the names of each youth and their ages.
the tags of paper literally stretched from the top of the cable
all the way down to the floor.
it was simply amazing.
I only wish that there was an explanation of the project in the exhibit,
cause no one really understood the full impact of this piece.
I found myself telling people as they passed by.
It was such a powerful exhibit that I could not bare to see
people pass by without a clue as to what they were experiencing.
then, on Monday, our memorial day off,
we did yard work and shopped for a water softener.
ya...fun, fun, fun.
it sucks to be an adult sometimes. ;P
oh well, at least we can walk
through our backyard now.
Before that you'd need a machete to help you clear your path
as you made your way through!
so that was last weekend.
the work week last week was ho hum.
I spent too much money on lunch again, but i had lunch at this awesome dim sum place near my office.
it cost me like $20 just for myself, but it was well worth it.
perhaps my most interesting experience last week was at the spa.
I can't really talk about it here, but let's just say I was
bothered all week by it.
it wasn't anything bad, I just didn't jive with it at all.
BUT, two weeks ago, one of the clients I had a session with was
a newscaster from channel 7 (I think, or was it channel 5?).
I recognized them off the bat.
In fact, they came into the spa with 2 other newscasters
from other TV stations.
I was quite starstruck.
But the best part is, they loved us and they're coming back for
future appointments!
Anyhow, as for this weekend I did nothing but clean, clean,
workout, do bills, take care of errands, clean.
it was a "working" weekend for me.
but I'm so happy cause I finally have non-wrinkled clothes to wear
for the work week.
I literally ironed 15 pieces of clothing for nearly an hour today.
My bf worked on printing up some pictures which he will enter
in a county fair competition. It's kinda exciting.
It'll be great for him just to get the exposure whether he wins something or not.
this week
I'm pretty excited about this week.
I'll be spending time with lots of different friends.
'gonna have coffee tomorrow with some ex-co-workers from my last job.
then, on thursday, 'gonna have our monthly dinner at my house
with some other ex-co-workers from 2 jobs ago.
we're actually kinda late on this monthly dinner, but
at least we do it.
on friday, i'm going to a graduation after work.
my friend is getting her Master's so she can become a
Family Nurse Practioner.
FINALLy, this coming weekend is LADIES WEEKEND.
yippeee!
me and tow of my close girlfriends are driving down to L.A.
to just....HANG.
'gonna hit the beach and go rollerblading and maybe play a little
volleyball. don't have any other definite plans after that...
but on
Sunday we're gonna end our trip right by having
lunch at our favorite place, VERSAILLE!!!!
YUM!!! CUBAN FOOD!
That place is by far the best Cuban Restaurant I've ever eaten at.
And of course, the best thing there is their garlic chicken with
Cuban rice, black beans and fried plantains, which I order with
a tall glass of a guyanabana (pronounced wa-NA-ba-na) betido
a.k.a. a guyabano milkshake. MMMMM!
can't wait! 'gotta think about what to pack soon.
the regular stuff
(this one's especially for cousin Chi since I've been lagging on my blog entries)
aside from all the introspection going on in my head,
things have been hunky dory.
'spent last weekend (our 3-day Memorial day weekend)
at my brother's graduation that saturday.
had lunch in Milpitas afterwards with our family and my brother's friend's from
high school. then we went home. my brother followed and took a nap
on our couch before he headed out to hang out with friends.
I actually went to the gym and worked out...holy lord! I could hardly believe it myself!
last sunday, we went to the San Francisco Art Institute's
Master of Art Student Exhibit. It was so inspiring! wow! 'definitely
gave me all kinds of ideas.
There was one exhibit, in particular, that we went to see.
One of my bf's friends, MS, from his photography community did his Master's project
on these trees.
There's a place near Lake Chabot in Hayward where they created a memorial
to young victims of violence. They've planted a tree for every child killed from
a violent crime in Alameda County.
Right now there's a total of 169 trees and this guy, MS, took a picture of all of them
as his project.
He was actually able to capture them all in such a way where
each quite unique from the other.
MS printed black and white 3" x 5" pictures of each tree and posted it
symmetrically on the wall. Next to the wall, hanging from the ceiling was
this cable that had tags of paper strung on it.
and on the paper were the names of each youth and their ages.
the tags of paper literally stretched from the top of the cable
all the way down to the floor.
it was simply amazing.
I only wish that there was an explanation of the project in the exhibit,
cause no one really understood the full impact of this piece.
I found myself telling people as they passed by.
It was such a powerful exhibit that I could not bare to see
people pass by without a clue as to what they were experiencing.
then, on Monday, our memorial day off,
we did yard work and shopped for a water softener.
ya...fun, fun, fun.
it sucks to be an adult sometimes. ;P
oh well, at least we can walk
through our backyard now.
Before that you'd need a machete to help you clear your path
as you made your way through!
so that was last weekend.
the work week last week was ho hum.
I spent too much money on lunch again, but i had lunch at this awesome dim sum place near my office.
it cost me like $20 just for myself, but it was well worth it.
perhaps my most interesting experience last week was at the spa.
I can't really talk about it here, but let's just say I was
bothered all week by it.
it wasn't anything bad, I just didn't jive with it at all.
BUT, two weeks ago, one of the clients I had a session with was
a newscaster from channel 7 (I think, or was it channel 5?).
I recognized them off the bat.
In fact, they came into the spa with 2 other newscasters
from other TV stations.
I was quite starstruck.
But the best part is, they loved us and they're coming back for
future appointments!
Anyhow, as for this weekend I did nothing but clean, clean,
workout, do bills, take care of errands, clean.
it was a "working" weekend for me.
but I'm so happy cause I finally have non-wrinkled clothes to wear
for the work week.
I literally ironed 15 pieces of clothing for nearly an hour today.
My bf worked on printing up some pictures which he will enter
in a county fair competition. It's kinda exciting.
It'll be great for him just to get the exposure whether he wins something or not.
this week
I'm pretty excited about this week.
I'll be spending time with lots of different friends.
'gonna have coffee tomorrow with some ex-co-workers from my last job.
then, on thursday, 'gonna have our monthly dinner at my house
with some other ex-co-workers from 2 jobs ago.
we're actually kinda late on this monthly dinner, but
at least we do it.
on friday, i'm going to a graduation after work.
my friend is getting her Master's so she can become a
Family Nurse Practioner.
FINALLy, this coming weekend is LADIES WEEKEND.
yippeee!
me and tow of my close girlfriends are driving down to L.A.
to just....HANG.
'gonna hit the beach and go rollerblading and maybe play a little
volleyball. don't have any other definite plans after that...
but on
Sunday we're gonna end our trip right by having
lunch at our favorite place, VERSAILLE!!!!
YUM!!! CUBAN FOOD!
That place is by far the best Cuban Restaurant I've ever eaten at.
And of course, the best thing there is their garlic chicken with
Cuban rice, black beans and fried plantains, which I order with
a tall glass of a guyanabana (pronounced wa-NA-ba-na) betido
a.k.a. a guyabano milkshake. MMMMM!
can't wait! 'gotta think about what to pack soon.
the signs
it's amazing how things turn out in life.
just this morning I was blogging about how lost and
frustrated I've been feeling about things.
now, i'm regaining inspiration.
'spent a good 3 hours talking with a couple of good friend today...
two people who are in complete alignment with me
when it comes to community work and processing our experiences.
it felt so good to be in their company...in the company of friends
who i didn't need to explain myself to
friends who are just on the same page.
our conversation sparked so much inspiration that
I know it is some kind of sign, some kind of arrow
pointing me back to the right direction.
all of the things they shared with me
reminded me of what I am about...what my life's goal is.
it's amazing how we can get side-tracked in life and
completely forget who we are and our visions.
but they helped me to think in a different way,
see things through a different pair of lenses.
It was like getting transported back to the real me.
in any case, I just wanted to give thanks for that.
someone upstairs must be looking out for me again.
thank you.
it's amazing how things turn out in life.
just this morning I was blogging about how lost and
frustrated I've been feeling about things.
now, i'm regaining inspiration.
'spent a good 3 hours talking with a couple of good friend today...
two people who are in complete alignment with me
when it comes to community work and processing our experiences.
it felt so good to be in their company...in the company of friends
who i didn't need to explain myself to
friends who are just on the same page.
our conversation sparked so much inspiration that
I know it is some kind of sign, some kind of arrow
pointing me back to the right direction.
all of the things they shared with me
reminded me of what I am about...what my life's goal is.
it's amazing how we can get side-tracked in life and
completely forget who we are and our visions.
but they helped me to think in a different way,
see things through a different pair of lenses.
It was like getting transported back to the real me.
in any case, I just wanted to give thanks for that.
someone upstairs must be looking out for me again.
thank you.
5:41p
here i go again...
wow. it's been 2 straight weeks since I've blogged on a regular basis.
it was hard to come back and blog again, knowing that I had so much
to catch up on. I can't believe I let myself give into that kind of pressure.
I've got enough of that deal with than to worry about blogging.
truth be told, i miss blogging.
A LOT!
I've been feeling lost a lot lately...frustrated, sad...all kinds of
crap.
And I haven't had any type of outlet to thoroughly process it all.
However, my BART rides to and from work is the time
that I have to sit and think.
But i don't write, so it kinda inhibits the process a little.
All i know is that I am slowly but surely getting sucked
back into this rat race.
No matter how much I tell myself that my path is different,
I've been noticing the changes in my life that are a result
of the 9-5 grind - the very thing that I VOWED to
keep myself away from.
In any case, I'm still alive and kicking.
I guess that speaks for something.
the job
work has been a good learning experience.
I just can't help but think to myself that this is only temporary
because I am most definitely not as challenged as I should be.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's interesting stuff and there is a lot to learn, but
it doesn't necessarily pull at my heartstrings or get my blood pumping.
It's not really a passion - just a means to make money.
it's very safe, though.
working in the corporate sector definitely has its benefits and security.
so much so that I'm afraid I might get stuck here.
the money isn't good, but it isn't bad either.
If only my stupid massage job would pick up, I would actually be alright.
I had kind of a frustrating experience last Friday, though.
UGH!!! I just hate not knowing everything that I need. this learning
thing kinda sucks a little because I am basically doing it by trial and error.
I'm often in the dark because I have no procedures manual to go by.
it's all about the notes I've kept from the mini tutorials I've been given.
I'm actually expected to create a procedures manual so those notes
definitely have to be perfect.
what I really want to blog about:
anyhow, I don't really feel like getting too caught up in all of that work business.
it's not monday yet, so I prefer to take a break from it until then.
I've been wanting to write about my brother this whole week.
I'm so proud and excited for him.
he graduated last week from college with a double major in the engineering field and a minor in
something technical.
it was great to see him walk across the stage in his cap and gown. my mom made him
a flower lei and 3 candy lei's.
my entire family took up a whole row of seats and his friends were in the stands as well.
We all screamed for him. it was for sure a proud moment.
one of my uncles gave my brother a big fat kiss on the cheek at the end of the ceremony.
it was one of the sweetest things I'd seen in a while.
He was so proud of him.
It was also great to meet a bunch of my brother's classmates, especially
his partners in his senior project.
it was nice to get a glimpse at parts of my brother's college life.
unfortunately, he's walking into the real world with no job yet.
I'm not quite sure what his plans are, since he's been so consumed
with classes up to the day of graduation.
I think I wrote before how he had 6 classes his last semester.
They pretty much consumed most of his time, so looking for a job
was out of the question.
My and my bf got him a gift certificate for an airline ticket as his
graduation gift. I really want that kid to go out and have a good time
for a change.
he's always working, working, stressing, studying.
It's time to give his nerves a break.
All I can say is, I still can't believe he's graduated.
I'm so used to him being a student and being able
to not have to worry about real world stuff.
now that he's stepped into that, I'm just really hoping he
grabs hold of life and lives it to the fullest.
I know he's smart and knows better than most.
I know he's a deep thinker, has solid values and understands the
world on a pretty mature level (even though there's always more room to grow).
I'm just both excited and anxious to see how his life unfolds.
It's such an amazing thing to be his age with your entire life in front of you.
I just want the absolute best for him - happiness and good health most importantly.
I guess being 7 years older than him, I'm both "ate" ("older sister" in Tagalog) and "parent", and I can't help but
want the world for him and worry about how he takes on the world.
But ultimately, I have faith and trust in him.
Good luck to you, brother. :)
here i go again...
wow. it's been 2 straight weeks since I've blogged on a regular basis.
it was hard to come back and blog again, knowing that I had so much
to catch up on. I can't believe I let myself give into that kind of pressure.
I've got enough of that deal with than to worry about blogging.
truth be told, i miss blogging.
A LOT!
I've been feeling lost a lot lately...frustrated, sad...all kinds of
crap.
And I haven't had any type of outlet to thoroughly process it all.
However, my BART rides to and from work is the time
that I have to sit and think.
But i don't write, so it kinda inhibits the process a little.
All i know is that I am slowly but surely getting sucked
back into this rat race.
No matter how much I tell myself that my path is different,
I've been noticing the changes in my life that are a result
of the 9-5 grind - the very thing that I VOWED to
keep myself away from.
In any case, I'm still alive and kicking.
I guess that speaks for something.
the job
work has been a good learning experience.
I just can't help but think to myself that this is only temporary
because I am most definitely not as challenged as I should be.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's interesting stuff and there is a lot to learn, but
it doesn't necessarily pull at my heartstrings or get my blood pumping.
It's not really a passion - just a means to make money.
it's very safe, though.
working in the corporate sector definitely has its benefits and security.
so much so that I'm afraid I might get stuck here.
the money isn't good, but it isn't bad either.
If only my stupid massage job would pick up, I would actually be alright.
I had kind of a frustrating experience last Friday, though.
UGH!!! I just hate not knowing everything that I need. this learning
thing kinda sucks a little because I am basically doing it by trial and error.
I'm often in the dark because I have no procedures manual to go by.
it's all about the notes I've kept from the mini tutorials I've been given.
I'm actually expected to create a procedures manual so those notes
definitely have to be perfect.
what I really want to blog about:
anyhow, I don't really feel like getting too caught up in all of that work business.
it's not monday yet, so I prefer to take a break from it until then.
I've been wanting to write about my brother this whole week.
I'm so proud and excited for him.
he graduated last week from college with a double major in the engineering field and a minor in
something technical.
it was great to see him walk across the stage in his cap and gown. my mom made him
a flower lei and 3 candy lei's.
my entire family took up a whole row of seats and his friends were in the stands as well.
We all screamed for him. it was for sure a proud moment.
one of my uncles gave my brother a big fat kiss on the cheek at the end of the ceremony.
it was one of the sweetest things I'd seen in a while.
He was so proud of him.
It was also great to meet a bunch of my brother's classmates, especially
his partners in his senior project.
it was nice to get a glimpse at parts of my brother's college life.
unfortunately, he's walking into the real world with no job yet.
I'm not quite sure what his plans are, since he's been so consumed
with classes up to the day of graduation.
I think I wrote before how he had 6 classes his last semester.
They pretty much consumed most of his time, so looking for a job
was out of the question.
My and my bf got him a gift certificate for an airline ticket as his
graduation gift. I really want that kid to go out and have a good time
for a change.
he's always working, working, stressing, studying.
It's time to give his nerves a break.
All I can say is, I still can't believe he's graduated.
I'm so used to him being a student and being able
to not have to worry about real world stuff.
now that he's stepped into that, I'm just really hoping he
grabs hold of life and lives it to the fullest.
I know he's smart and knows better than most.
I know he's a deep thinker, has solid values and understands the
world on a pretty mature level (even though there's always more room to grow).
I'm just both excited and anxious to see how his life unfolds.
It's such an amazing thing to be his age with your entire life in front of you.
I just want the absolute best for him - happiness and good health most importantly.
I guess being 7 years older than him, I'm both "ate" ("older sister" in Tagalog) and "parent", and I can't help but
want the world for him and worry about how he takes on the world.
But ultimately, I have faith and trust in him.
Good luck to you, brother. :)