sometimes
I have to remind myself
that there is more to me
than the daily grind,
the everyday routine.

it is easy to get sucked in to the vortex,
the immediate circle.
like driving without peripheral vision.

i yearn to create more
instead of
being tiresome.
i yearn to flip my insides out
for creative ventilation of the soul.

i long to hear my voice
echo back at me
loudly
clearly
like a warm hug for my soul

sometimes i search
in the wrong places.
even my heart knows it -
it cannot be fooled -
and I wonder how to break free
from the conditioning...

cause i know that's all it is:
an unconscious, conditioned response.
a result of decades of only knowing one way
to deal
with reality.

this is why i appreciate this space so much.
typing words in cyberspace -so cathartic.
the hope is to shed enough -
peel enough - layers
so I can breathe.