bad blogger
man, I've been away too long.
I figured that I should probably check in since I have a little time
to spare.
it's not like I never have time, but my brain has been pre-occupied with too much stuff.
anyway, it's nice to be back for a little bit.

the good news
I'm so happy for my cousin who just gave birth to one of my
cutest nephews ever!!!! welcome to the world, Dylan!

Welcome also to a new Cal bear cub, Nicholas! (another nephew)
Even though your mom and dad say the massage I gave your mommy helped you come out,
I know it was probably just you coming out on your own time.
What an honor it was for me to help play a small part in your arrival!
It is by far the best experiences I've ever had as a massage therapist.
I am so humbled.

I also heard news that one of my favorite couples just got engaged.
Congrats, Sil and D!!!

Oh and last but not least, I got asked to be a bridesmaid for one of my
oldest and dearest friends, Cyn's, wedding.

Would you believe I heard news of the last three items within the same weekend?!
I hope this means this year is turning around for the better.

random updates
besides being a complete and utter lagger with my blog,
life on the outside is rolling along.
since my last entry, my work situation has finally taken a positive turn.
I took on yet another new perspective.
it's kinda one of those thing where you just get sick and tired of being stuck in the
same place day after day, so you have no choice but to change.
I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I can only control
so much of some of the things that aggravate me at work.
so now, i try to focus on what I can control
and simply don't beat myself up anymore when certain things
don't go my way.
Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days.
i just try not to let them get to me as much anymore.

even better still, me and the bf spent the weekend together...
painting!
we re-painted the master bedroom and can I just tell you how much
more I LOVE that space now that I don't have to walk
into a super bright orange room.
It's amazing how colors can affect your mood.
I'm happy to say that the room is now a relaxing muted/light grey color with a hint of muted blue.
Ahhhhh....it's pure heaven.
and we left an entire humongous wall empty so that we could fill it up with our own
home made acrylic paintings on canvas.
It's our "art wall".
can't wait to start working on it.

and yesterday was the bf's b-day.
took him out to dinner at this singaporean/malaysian/thai restaurant.
the food was amazing and the decor transported you out of the 'burbs.
I didn't know it was possible for there to be a place like this where we live.
I seriously felt like i was in a restaurant in the mission district of the city.

where am i now?
I still feel like I'm just floating for the most part.
At least I'm heading in a direction, but I think I just need to be more proactive on certain things.

I'm loving reading my cousin's blog and seeing/learning about my new nephew, Dylan.
He's absolutely heavenly...the cutest little thing ever!
I just think to myself what an amazing and challenging journey my cousin and her husband
have ahead of them.
I just wish I were closer so that i could experience Dylan growing up.

I am often feeling antsy about moving forward with my life.
I just get so overwhelmed with what I have to do sometimes
that I end up not doing anything at all.
I think that I am still just trying to manage all of my "adult"
responsibilities, which is sometimes a pain in the ass.
I just wish sometimes that there was a manual on how
to DEAL period.

I still miss my Auntie Linda.
I still cry like a baby when certain things I see, hear, smell evoke thoughts of her.
Especially now that Measure A passed in Alameda County to help pay for the
deficit in the county medical center, I think about her.
I think, if it wasn't for her passing, none of this would be taken seriously.