10:03p

sweet release
my fingers have been aching to type new words onto this blog
for exactly 7 days now.
as usual work consumes all of my energy
and the tip-tapping of the pads of my fingers
can barely function after 8 hours worth of
completing forms for work visas, greencard applications,
and getting in an AIM session or two with friends.
I really shouldn't, but it's one of the few things
that keeps me sane during the 9 to 5.

it's just so nice to come back here and hear my voice again.

could it be?
believe it or not...."I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free-hee-hee..."
(couldn't resist)
actually, though I'm not quite walking on air, this week has definitely been a god-send.
'dunno what happened, but things sort of took a 180 degree turn...ok, maybe a 150.
regardless, 'been a happy girl for days now.

it all started on friday
it was great to catch up with my friend/ex-co-worker at our usual cafe.
she was a breath of fresh air.
i miss choppin' it up with her social justice/community work style.
since i no longer spend my 9 to 5 in that kind of environment,
it is rare for me to have those kinds of processing sessions.
i miss them. a lot.

i appreciate her more and more as my friend
and found that our dramatics at my old work place
are only one thing we share.
in fact, we made permanent dents on our usual couch
from sitting there for over 3 hours chatting away.

i was actually supposed to be home 2 hours earlier
so i could pack for our trip to LA the next morning.
but when i came home, what did me and the bf do?:
pig out on Carl's Jr. while watching the entire MTV
Video Music Awards. ummm...ok, Madonna rocks - period.
no need to add accessories like Britney or X-tina on her lips
to make her look better. And, hello? I demand a replay of
Duran Duran's video montage thingy in honor of their
Life Achievement award.

GAWD! you should have seen
me regress to the 5th grade duranie/fanatic when they
showed up on the screen. I didn't think
I still had it in me. My poor bf - I think he's traumatized.
My gawd, i'm afraid of how I'll react when I see them in concert.

YES, that's right, you heard it...I bought tickets the other day.
I'm telling you, I'm counting the days...(tick, tick, tick)
when i'm sitting on the lawn of Sharon Meadows in
Golden Gate Park yellin' my freakin' head off
...just like the first time (my first concert ever) when
i was in 5th grade accompanied by my friend, Jessica,
whose mom was our chaperone. cool mom.

but i digress...did I mention that i didn't
finish packing until 2 am that friday night/sat morning?

...and it continued on sat
but despite the 6 hours of sleep (which actually was enough),
I woke up the next morning bright and early.
we headed out at about 8:30am with our friend, R, (still
tired from clubbing all night) and his friend (our new best friend):
a 2-door beamer. I LOVE driving that thing!

our first stop: Goldilock's in San Jose.
As usual my eyes were hungrier than my stomach.
but that didn't stop me from scarfing down a whole plate
of adobo fried rice, eggs, tocino and bistec.
I pretty much lived on that fuel until dinner time.

we decided that we wanted to take our time getting to LA
so that we could explore some sites along the way.
we headed down 101 to HWY 1 and drove all along the Pacific
Coast for miles. It was super cloudy when
we passed through Monterey, but
once we got to the coast, the sun came out and greeted us.
And when the sun is out, wow! The blue in the ocean
takes your breath away.

We stopped off at my favorite spot along HWY 1.
I call it "heaven", cause that's what it feels like when
I'm standing in the middle of it all.
Too bad the yellow flowers weren't in bloom, though.
That's what really makes it. At least the blue ocean and
majestic mountains were in play. 2 outta 3 ain't bad.

John Mayer was playing during this particular stretch of
our drive. Perfect.
I found my mind wandering, just thinking about random stuff.
Daydreaming about things that barely make it's way into
my thoughts during the 9 to 5.
Makes you appreciate this kind of "freedom".

I brought my journal (2 of them, in fact) just in case I was inspired
to write.
I think it was appropriate for me just to soak it all in
with my eyes and ears, so the journal stayed shut the entire trip.

in spite of the several windy/car-sickness inducing
spots along the way, it's worth traveling south on HWY 1
at least once. makes one appreciate some the last
untouched, undeveloped areas on the damn planet .
no wonder photographer, Ansel Adams, couldn't get enough of capturing
it on film.

...and on to the night
so after 11 hours on the road stopping off at
more sites (Pfiefer State Park, Santa Barbara)
and experiencing more spectacular views,
we finally arrived at our friend, D's, doorstep.
He housed us for the rest of the weekend.

tired and hungry from our nomadic escapade,
we pigged out on 50 chicken wings, fries, greens
and bread at Smitty's on Venice Blvd.
Thank goodness our friend, D, took us to
The Grove to walk around afterwards.

The Grove is this outdoor mall complete with
a fountain show every hour and double-decker trolley
that takes you from one end of the mall to the other.
I felt like I was in Vegas AND Disneyland.
Amazing the kind of money they put into malls
down there.

What was even more amazing was the thousands of
people out and about there. It was 10p
and the place was bustling with people.
None of the malls around where I live even come CLOSE
to that kind of activity on a weekend....well, except for
during the holiday shopping season.
Then again, this was L.A.

After a tour around the mall, a short stint
at the Apple store to check my e-mail, and
a trip to the bathroom inside Barnes and Noble,
we bid adieu to The Grove.

We decided to have our "night cap" at one
of the Coffee Bean cafes where D frequents
and sees many celebrities. It was a nice spot.
Everyone was pretty tired and constipated (why
is it so hard to have a bowel movement when traveling?)
so steamed milk with vanilla was the drink of choice.
ahhh...it literally put me to sleep.
but not before we had a couple of last
crazy conversations for the night.
Then, when we got home, we were all out like a light.
*click*

and then there was sunDAY...
'woke up dehydrated the next morning from all that damn
chicken and last cup of steamed milk.
'felt like i could drink 2 gallons of water at that moment.
Our friend, D, planned a day at the beach for volleyball, sun and
just plain chillin' (i sound so 90's!). He went ahead to reserve volleyball courts and a prime spot on the beach
next to food and bathrooms. :)

Us three took our time getting ready.
We finally made it to brunch at the Lazy Daisy on Pico BLvd.,
about a mile away from the beach.
Cute little spot that was.
I had eggs benedict florentine and oatmeal (for regularity and to cleanse
all the cholesterol in my veins from Smitty's).
The oatmeal was the best. Shoulda just stuck to that cause
once again I was super full.

'Loaded up on water and snacks at the grocery and
finally headed off to the beach.
Met loads of new folks. Mostly UCLA Alum who's names I've
heard before and who's pictures I've seen on Friendster.
But the funny thing was, while this was supposed to be
an official UCLA Pilipino Alumni Association gig, half the folks there
were CAL Pinoy Alum.
Nevertheless, it was cool to connect. In fact,
i think we'll be doing some joint social activities soon.
Nice folks.

and Sunday night wasn't too bad either
Later that night, our other friends, C & N, organized a dinner at
Tuk Tuk, a Thai restaurant on Pico Blvd. (a great place to eat, btw)
It was great to see both of them again.
C is an actress/CPA and N is an engineer who travels to the
equator at least 3 times a year to launch satellites into space.
They are now engaged and recently bought a home right at
the foot of the Getty Museum.

C shared some more stories about her acting experiences
since we last saw eachother.
She's currently playing a 13-yr old girl for an independent film.
It's kinda funny, though, cause no one knows she is almost 3 times
older than her co-stars. All her castmates know is that "she's legal",
as C would say.

After dinner, C & N invited us to their home for some dessert and
a look at C's humongous self-made 8 ft by 5 ft. abstract painting.
The brownies and ice cream were great, but C's painting was simply
AMAZING! WOW!
You would never guess that she never took a painting class in her life.
I was so impressed and inspired by her work....all the colors, the
texture and dimension she gave to the painting
...it was unbelievable.
'never knew the woman was an artist in so many ways.

cause of her, I'm finally gonna register for that painting class at state.
either that or I'm gonna head off to Michael's this weekend for some paint
and paint brushes and paint my own damn abstract.
I'm totally inspired.

one more day, please?
'made it through another hot night in L.A.
I'm surprised I didn't sweat in my sleep.
made my way to the bathroom mirror
and realized how totally brown i got from our time at the beach.
I like my color now, though.
a nice reddish-brown on my skin does me well, me thinks. :)

unfortunately, monday was our last day.
but at least we went out with a bang:
lunch at our favorite Cuban restaurant,
VERSAILLE. and even though they didn't have
my favorite guanabana betido (guyabano milkshake),
I was just as happy with my roasted pork, garlic rice, beans
and platanos...mmmmm.

i went home a happy woman. :)

and the question remains
this week at work has been so good.
i can't remember the last time it's been this good.
it's all relative, of course, but it's just nice to be in a good place
with my challenges.

maybe it was my time spent with my friend/ex-co-worker, A.
or the therapeutic drive down the coast, or crisping in the sun
on the beach with my toes in the sand, or spending the whole
weekend with old and new friends?

dunno what made my perspective change, but it did.
i guess i just got tired of feeling the way i felt.
I think maybe i was resisting to change...the very thing
i completely welcome and embrace, or at least think I do.
I think I was finally able to let go...of old perspectives and values
and let new ones in.
I'm not saying it's all good from here, but
at least I have some sense
of control and hope.

Just the other day, i had this thought in my head
that I was willing to embrace certain "adult" responsibilities
that i have been so resistant to.

anyway, hopefully this is the turning point.
after all, 2004 is just around the corner,
and even years have always brought me more happier days.