9:01p

current stats: full from food (again...this time Carl's Jr. burger & fries), feeling un-fresh from the onions I ate, excited but worried that the show I'm waiting to watch isn't really the making of Underworld movie like I thought, feeling itchy, and happy to be blogging to the new John Mayer album - btw, it's another awesome work of art!

'can't believe I haven't mentioned him yet
speaking of John Mayer's new album,
there's a couple of songs that I've been
really diggin' on lateley:
"Bigger Than My Body" - cause of the writing and the meaning
"New Deep" - cause of the melody and the writing
"Split Screen Sadness" - cause the melody floats in my head 24/7

The album cover is just as creative as the
writing. You gotta check it out for yourself.
It's very John Mayer-esque.
It's not just some pretty catchy design.

blah
I'm in a state of blah.
Not the bad kind of blah.
Not the good kind of blah (if there even is such a thing).
I'm just...blah.

I think I've been inhalinh too many carbs again.
That usually does it - that, and not enough cardio.
It's not like a painful feeling.
It's more of a mind-numbing sensation.

I'm not worried.
I just need a litte more oxygen.

But aside from that,
it was quite the treat to actually engage in a deep conversation today.
I was about 15 minutes away from the end of my work day
when my friend from LA LA land AIMed me.
Funny. I was just thinking of him earlier today, too.

He's someone that's been going through the same
intense
worry-wart kind of episodes that I've been having.
And though his worries revolve around different things,
it all comes from the same place as my own "stuff".

Come to think of it,
I don't think I've been so wrapped up in "things"
as I am now.
Or maybe i just can't remember.
I must admit, though, that I haven't been on the roller
coaster as much as before.
Either I've given in or just given up.
Either way, I'm ok with where I am.
It's better than feeling like throwing up everyday!

And so the question remains: what the hell do I do next?
'been asking myself that for years.
I've gotten an answer a couple of times
but for the most part, the answer eludes me.
Seriously, it's so much easier when a rock hits you on the head.
Maybe I'm just so used to that happening that i cannot
function without it.

Sometimes, I think it's probably just easier
for me to heed Mr. Mayer's words for a little while:

"New Deep" - John Mayer

I'm so alive
I'm so enlightened
I can barely survive
a night in my mind
so I've got a plan
I'm gonna find out
just how boring I am
and have a good time

cause ever since I've tried
trying not find
every little meaning in my life
It's been fine
I've been cool
with my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
talk is the same cheap
it's been

Is there a god?
Why is he waiting?
Don't you think of it odd,
when he knows my address?
and look at the stars
Don't it remind you
just how feeble we are?
Will it used to I guess

cause ever since I've tried
trying not find
every little meaning in my life
It's been fine
I've been cool
with my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
talk is the same cheap
it's been

I'm a new man
I wear a new cologne
and you wouldn't know me
if you're eyes were closed.
I know what you'll say
this won't last longer than the rest of the day.
But you're wrong this time.
You're wrong.

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
I'm over the analyzing tonight

Stop trying to figure it out
It will only bring you down
You know I used to be the back porch poet
with my book of lines
always open all the time
I'm probably
never gonna find the perfect line
for heavier things