sometimes it becomes easy to forget
the truth in my soul
that powers the movement, light, passion
i live for.

it's like walking
without thinking
chewing
without tasting
looking
without seeing

covered beneath others dreams,
demands, wishes, blessings, expectations
for too long
erases the memory of me
and my light.

i habitually turn to the want ads
to regain my sense of self
to remember what is possible
to remember how to turn the light on again
through other opportunities outside

and then I realize -
through the googling haze of
search results
and the blinding brightness
of my laptop screen -
that I will never find myself there

I must look inward first
into the dark depths
of me and my complexities
where
clarity can be found
only by peeling off layers
and layers of the unneccessary

I hope to find myself again soon.
the soul feels empty without me.