with a capital "T"
there are days when I am just tired of this place.
I hate to say it, but it's true.
it's not that I feel ill-will toward anyone or anything,
it's just that sometimes
I can't help but FEEL like screaming until my insides start coming out of my mouth.
(I know. bad image.)

I was thinking today in the elevator
how many cycles I've gone through hating and loving this place.
I'm definitely glad that I'm not where I used to be.
I never would've thought that I would be challenged
so much by this experience.

For now,
I'm simply letting things be, knowing full well that
even though I don't have ultimate control over certain things,
I remain true to myself,
'remain critical of the values and things that go on here.
It's not that I am surrounded by bad people.
That would be far from the truth.
I guess it is just a different world, one that i must get along with
without completely assimilating or trading in my values.

but there are just those days sometimes
where all this crazy energy zaps me like a lightning bolt.
and all i wanna do is wave my fist and scream,
"you m*th$r f#cking b#tch!!!!!"

(there. that felt good.)