3:44p

d e t o x
not quite sure where to begin.
all i know is, I HATE WORK and AM SAD TO GO BACK TOMORROW.
ok, ok, maybe that's a little dramatic.
what i meant to say was, "I can be on vacation forever...and i hate work".

*sigh*

reading my cousin's latest blog entry pretty much brought
everything I've been feeling and experiencing full circle.
'helped identify the "disease" which has plagued my system for months now.

I think both my bf and I have been feeling the weight of
work and obligations and all the bullshit you need to
go through just to exist and call yourself "responsible"/"adult".
I'm sure my bf would have a different perspective on our getaway, but we
can most definitely agree that it was what
we needed to regain a little of ourselves back.

in a nutshell, me and the bf were out and about
all over the freakin' monterey Bay and California coast line.
It was just like being on summer break as a kid, playing outside all day
til you're stomach yearned for your mom's adobo
and your body reaked of sweat and dirt and whatever else you got your hands into.
yup, that was us 5 days straight: stinky, hungry and having the time of our lives. :)

4th of July
We of course did the fireworks thing on the 4th.
Hung around Monterey and enjoyed the fiesta thing they had at
their city hall plaza. Then headed off to the beach area for fireworks.

all white folks. I think i saw about 15 people of color in all.
not the most diverse place to be, but definitely one of the friendliest
and community-oriented. Some girl was even handing out cookies to the entire crowd
for FREE.
And I'm talking those big fat cookies, not the chips-a-hoy kind!

'decided to try the local fare of caramel popcorn (made fresh on the spot) - my favorite,
fish and chips (not enough chips, though),
and clam chowder in a bread bowl (next time ix-nay on the bread bowl).

we people-watched on the boardwalk while we waited til darkness to arrive
for the fireworks extravaganza.
as usual, we turned into the two old men in the balcony of the muppet show,
handing out criticisms left and right and laughing our heads off.

one of the poignant topics of the evening: faded jeans -
you know, the in-thing to have it faded in the front and the back.
Um, there's definitely the "right" kind of faded look and
the "white-out" kind
which is, plain and simply: not cool.
too bad when I looked down at my own jeans, I had the "white out" kind. :(
so much for being a critic!

lechon & baon
saturday was all about Carmel
and the grand opening of the Rolfe Horn photography exhibit at Weston Gallery.
The whole time we were referring to him, we imagined he was
some older guy...like an Ansel Adams or something.
'Turns out he's our age and even lives in the Bay Area.
Nevertheless, i was in awe of his work.
If only I could afford a $600 photograph of his to hang in my house!

'Imagined that my bf would have the same type of exhibit
at some point in his life.
The only difference is it wouldn't be "the-wine-and-cheese-I'm-too
pretentious-to-eat-REAL-food" celebration.
Ohhhh Nooo! That's just sacrilege in our culture.

Instead, we'd be talkin' rice, lumpia, adobo, a big fat lechon w/ an apple in it's mouth
and absolutely NO vegetables what-so-ever kind of celebration
(oh, and of course some foil and take out boxes for baon).
Yup, that's how we'd do it. ;)
but I digress...

After the exhibit opening, we literally
scoured downtown Carmel for a restaurant to eat dinner at.
Apparently, it's the place to dine on a Saturday night on a 3-day weekend.
thankfully 'found this italian one - not bad.
I was just happy that they had fried calamari cause
i was craving it like crazy that day.

the rice cooker phenomenon
first off, may i say that "rice cooker" is quite
the misnomer for this (as I discovered on our trip) extraordinary cooking device.
quite frankly, it became our life saver.

so as i wrote in an earlier blog, I had this genious idea to
bring a wok and other cooking appliances in an effort to
save money on our low budget get away - an idea inspired by
my travels with my family as a child. (lots of sarcasm here)

to make a long story short, the wok decided to break down on us just
as I dropped a raw egg into it for our corned beef-silog breakfast.
luckily, we were able to cook the entire meal (in just 2 hours!) and fill our tummies
before heading out for the day.

problem is, we still had some spaghetti to cook for dinner.
We couldn't exactly just scrap the meal cause we'd
already bought the meat for the sauce.
what to do? what to do?

We decided to visit the two local shopping centers for
another wok.
As expected, no luck.
Plan B: buy a burner and pot.
Found the burner, but didn't really want to spend the money on the pot
so decided on using....

THE RICE COOKER. tan-ta-ta-taaaan!!!!!
Yes, that's right.

Instead of the pan, we boiled our spaghetti noodles and
made our sauce all in the rice cooker pot over the burner we bought.
And even though it took practically 3 hours to prepare it all,
the darn thing worked.
And we were supplied with enough spaghetti to last for lunch and dinner
yesterday.

Of course, I don't think i can eat another bite of spaghetti
for a little while.
But if it weren't for our trusty dusty "rice cooker", I would have been forced
to spend $5 on a scrumptous burger, fries and coke at the Jack in a Box down
the street.....(wait a minute...)
*sigh*

the signs
my bf and i actually kneeled to pray when we visited the Carmel Mission,
one of the missions established by the famous Junipero Serra.
i figured it would be the respectful thing to do
even though i stopped going to church years ago.
If my mother saw me, she probably would have fainted right there.
(The woman is ALWAYS telling me to go to church.
She'd leave me notes in my bag lunches if she could.)

so in my prayers, I of course gave thanks for
life and this trip and all these other things.
And I also asked for guidance.
I've been so lost lately with all the different
transitions I've been going through -
feeling like I'm everywhere,
but still getting nowhere.

I'm pretty sure the whole trip in itself was a guiding light
cause I noticed some of the signs....

*running into our 2 friends (one was with his wife and kids, the other I hadn't seen in years -
a woman who has the same passion for social work and recently got into Columbia for her MSW)

* freaking out on our drive along the steep and creepy mountainside of HWY 1 - made me realize
that while you may never get rid of your fear of something, you can always find ways to deal with it.

* climbing on the rocks at Point Lobos and actually enjoying it - 'remembered that the simple things
are also important and valuable

* seeing the beautiful blue coastline complete with sea otters, sea lions,
seagulls, kelp forests, and pelicans - 'realized that some things
are wayyy bigger and more important than my little issues

*standing in the middle of acres and acres of wild flowers between the tall mountains
and deep blue ocean - I couldn't help but think, "is this what it's like in heaven?"

*spending hours and hours just gazing at the beauty of nature - 'found
peace and realized how lucky i was just to be breathing

*looking through my bf's camera to see the picture he had composed - 'was amazed
at his unique perspective on the world and remembered that it's still not too late
to "live out my truths"

*having time to sit on "my rock" at the "Ghost Tree" spot on the 17-mile drive in Carmel - finally,
I got a chance to start a poem in my journal. It had been so long since I've felt that kind of openness and comfort.

*spending 24/5 with my partner - 'realized that he's still and will always be my rock, my peace, my life...
and that there's still so much more of life for both of us to explore together (corny but true)

That's what I can remember for now. I only hope I caught all the signs.
But I guess what matters most is
how I apply it all to the here and now.

And while I'm not exactly looking forward to
work tomorrow,
at least my lungs are cleaner,
my head is lighter
and my eyes are wider.
detoxing is a good thing. :)


a little ditty for my baby
what? inspired?
yeah, FINALLY.
and though this is still in the works, it's what it is for now.
it's just good to finally find some words
to describe his awesome journey finding his truths.
'started it while sitting on the rocks by the tide pools at Point Lobos.
'finished on a rock at "Ghost Tree" on the 17-mile drive.


"untitled"

Quietly he sits,
eye upon the shore,
eyes focused forward
always

Patiently he waits,
like a father with his son,
allowing space
and room
for awakening

Unwavered by the sea,
he sits,
nature warmly welcoming
his embrace, his unprejudiced nature
allowing him
to capture
what no one else
can see

Change your prescription
'cause 20/20 vision
is not powerful enough
to understand

But he'll show you
if you let him
cause when I walk beside him
a cloudy day
now unveils
the neon green underbrush

an old rusty chain
speaks of the hardships
of days passed

a forgotten road
now reveals
the soul
that leads
his journey.


quietly he sits
eye upon the shore
eyes focused forward
always

unwavered by the sea
he sits
capturing

life

beauty

truth.