11:49

maybe it's me
'been trying to find clarity in certain things
over the last year and a half.
my perception of certain things has definitely changed.
partly due to my set of values.

it hasn't been difficult, but...
it often leaves a disconcerting feeling in my soul.

today i was thinking: "maybe it's me. maybe I am just not
facing this challenge in the way that I should", as (I admit)
I've sort of given up on it.
I'm usually not like that.
but with this....i dunno. 'though, theoretically, I should have some hope in it,
i don't.
it's not even in me to want to find a solution.

...but maybe its because of my lack of maturity in the matter.
...maybe i need to try harder...make the challenge worth it.
...maybe I just can't let go of certain things that keep me from moving forward.

maybe I'm just not there yet.
only time will tell, i guess.