30 minutes in the fitting room
I finally have a chance to sit down and think for a moment.
quiet time for myself.
spent a bulk of my day away from the house.
I succumbed to my material needs and used my credit card
to buy business casual clothes to wear for work as well as
black clothes to wear for my massage gig (that's our official dress code: all black...I like.).

I feel good about my purchases (all at good prices), but I'm feeling a little scared.
my credit card debt isn't going anywhere, but I don't have
any more to contribute each month.
'feeling kinda stuck with my financial situation.
and it didn't help that they did a feature on the news
about saving for retirement. i just wanted to change the channel.
it just made me feel depressed.


on a lighter note
I made dinner tonight and succeeded in creating a vegetarian meal
that was low on carbs (simple carbs) and high on complex carbs and protein.
I made:
- vegetarian chili
- brussel sprouts (baked and sauted in lots of garlic)
- broccoli (stir-fried in lots of garlic and garlic salt)
- corn tortillas

I forgot how filling beans are. I was already full
by the time I finished 1/4 of my 1 cup serving!
I didn't add the textured soy protein like the recipe called for
because I didn't know what the hell that was.
I think it's similar to that gluten stuff that
they use to make vegetarian "meat".
I almost added the firm tofu because that's what i thought "soy protein" was.
thank goodness i didn't.
I don't think the recipe would've turned out well.
nevertheless, my bf loved the chili...'didn't care much for the brussel sprouts, though.

I, on the other hand, loved the brussel sprouts.
I also really liked the broccoli.
It just felt good to be eating green vegetables.
And my goal is to eat more of them, so if anyone out
there knows of any all-vegetable recipes, please please let me know.

I think my next venture is to search for recipes with kale in it.
I really like that stuff.
and it's so good for you, especially since it's a green, leafy vegetable.

i think I also want to try making a vegetarian enchilada...and no, not
a simple cheese one.
I remember my friend brought some to work one day.
he filled it with black beans and roasted bell pepper.
I should've tried it when I had the chance.
hmmm...and since I'm trying to cut down on the dairy,
I wonder how soy cheese tastes as a substitute to the regular
monterey jack.

for now, i will try the veggie dogs I bought.
I still have some of those buttermilk biscuits that come in a roll,
which you bake yourself.
I'm planning on wrapping the veggie dogs in those and baking them.
I hope it tastes good!

why, Georgia, why?
i know it's just the beginning of my new job situation.
it's only been 2 weeks since i started working again, but
I can't help but feel a little anxious about the outcome of it all.
I'm just worried about the spa job.
while it is my outlet to pursue my passion in massage,
it is also my 2nd source of income.
my first job won't fulfill my financial needs.
I'm just hoping that business will pick up at the spa sooner than later
so that I can not only make ends meet but also make extra for savings.

I'm definitely not going to wallow in self-pity, though.
I know this is just gonna take a lot more patience on my part
and a little re-strategizing.
it's just a little scary because i'm in the exact situation that
i've tried to stay away from.
I just don't want to walk a meaningless path, you know?
'reminds me of that john mayer song, "Why Georgia?".....
(i swear that song describes exactly how i'm feeling)

I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?