living vicariously through her
thank goodness someone out there is livin' it up.
just got off the phone with my cousin in NY.
we talked for almost an hour about her adventures.
it was great to just sit back and listen and of course
laugh like there's no tomorrow.

food was, of course, a major topic of discussion.
it always is with us two.

i was just really really happy to know how much
she's enjoying herself.
when she first left, I wasn't worried at all.
she's the kind of person that turns everything into an adventure.
that's why it was strange for me to learn that she was a little
scared of the whole thing.
thank goodness she's settled in there.

thank goodness I have her to constantly remind me
to live life to its fullest.
THANKS, GAILY!!!!

some sunshine
today was a good day with my two clients.
I had two sessions this morning with them.
if only i lived in an ideal world where I could just do massage and not have to
worry about any of the logistics and things.
cause I really enjoy it.

ho hum
when i was unemployed, i had a chance to re-evaluate
my life and my values.
one thing I saw of my old ways was that i allowed work
to take over my brain.
i let it tire me out mentally, which kept me from doing things I loved and needed to do (like exercising).

I promised myself that this time around,
i wouldn't do that.
that's why I chose the path that i have with massage
and this other part time job as an Admin Assist.

I wanted some flexibility in my work schedule
so that there would be space and time for me to do the things
I want to do.
funny thing is, i've been so focused on making my new schedule work
that I think I'm falling back into the same trap that I promised not to get into.

in retrospect, i think it's only natural for me to be focused in this way
since it is my first week of work.
I need to get myself mentally prepared for the tasks and schedule at hand.
maybe i shouldn't judge myself too harshly.

however, i'm glad that i caught myself this time
so that i remember to keep my promise to myself.

but you know, it's challenging for me right now to think of
anything but surviving financially.
especially when i still can't really spend money on anything other than bills and food.
Then again, maybe it is a good thing for me to be in this mode of watching my money.
it simply opens the door for other options...a cleansing of the soul, if you will.
hmm...i think i wrote about this before.
nevertheless, it forces me to be more creative with my time
and what i choose to do to have a good time.

i just don't want it to stifle me from setting goals for myself.
i know i need to watch myself, cause I can just see me getting
too caught up in being conservative with my money
that I never dare to dream or reach for things i really want.
cause there's so much I need and want to do/have.

I guess I'm also being a little impatient.
maybe I'm so used to getting the things i want and need
in an instant...
wow I can't believe how much money i'd spend on myself sometimes.
I'm hungry - I go eat a $25 meal at Venezia
I'm not satisfied with how my bathroom looks - I spend almost $100 to re-decorate it.

then again, i'm happy with everything I've spent my money on.
i guess it's all part of living life to its fullest.
besides, i'm still a pretty thrifty shopper when it comes to spending money.
and i don't even buy clothes for myself much.
it's always on things for the house
or food for the table.
stuff like that.
I'd rather go home/housewares shopping than clothes shopping any day!

but you know, it's really expensive just to live these days.
I often wonder how someone with an income like mine
really benefits from having to maintain a car and a house.
cause when it comes right down to it, neither are true "assets" (as they would say in the financial world),
even if a house increases in value with age.
so much money goes into it to maintain it.
I sometimes think maybe I should just live in a cheap apartment and ride a bike.
and then I wake up to reality and slap myself, cause I'm wayyy too dependent on
my car. AND, I love my house. Besides, where would we
host our yearly x-mas parties? I just dunno how i would ever unlearn that dependency.

stinky boy
finally, my bf is out of the shower.
he went skiing today with some friends.
lucky bastard.
I sooo wish I was on the slopes in my snowblades, too!
but that's ok. I'm just glad he went cause he's been itching to
go for a couple of months now.

once again, we will watch our tape of shows from Thursday night.
i'm afraid he won't last the whole tape, though.
he's pretty tired, so i expect him to conk out within the first 10 minutes.
I'm just glad my baby's home. :)

kink-y
i still have a damn kink in my neck. but this time around, it's pretty bad.
the left side of my upper back is just all knotted up and tight.
i've been stretching it all day. I even went to the hot tub at the gym
to treat it with some heat.
I also tried some PNF stretches (contracting the muscle before stretching it out)
still no release.
dammit!!!!
and to top it off, i couldn't book a massage at any of the places i called...
- watercourse way
- north star bodywork
-about face and body
- la belle day spa

NONE!

I was tempted to go to the spa I work at, but I didn't really want to do a trade
with another therapist and I didn't really want to pay $80 for a massage when I knew that I could
get a free one if I traded with someone.
catch 22 again.

I just wish that I could step outside my body for an hour so that
i could massage my own back.