11:36p

doh!
i actually wrote a blog earlier...
but when I clicked on the "post & publish" button, I actually clicked on the SIGN OUT button.
what a loser. :(
oh well....

my ass hurts!
..and so do my knees.
I finally broke out of the "spell" again and drove my ass to the gym to work out.
and this time I really worked out.
oh my god...i'm just hurting right now.

nevertheless, i feel really good about it. i know that my body's been calling out to me for this
(even though my brain wants to just "kick it" all the time).
it was a relief to finally listen to my body this time.
I was inspired again after watching this story last night on ABC Primetime about Al Roker
and his battle with his weight.

today, I continued to see how achieving things is mostly a mental thing.
especially when I was on the bike on my last 15 min. of cardio.
I pushed myself to imagine that I was in some bike race just so that I could complete those last 15 min.
it's tough sometimes when you have to struggle with the fears and laziness in your head.

I just wonder
so tonight my boyfriend and I shopped around for a fake white x-mas tree.
'haven't found the right one yet, so I think I'll go looking again tomorrow.
for the last 3 years that we've lived in this house, we've bought a live tree every year.
as much as it is such a neat thing to do, we thought we'd get something that we
could recycle every year.

I often wonder how hard it can be on the environment when millions
of trees are getting cut down each year so we
can bring them into our homes for a few weeks and then discard them.
I know it's recyclable, but I just wonder...

of course, I don't have anything against people who do buy live trees.
and, perhaps investing in the fake ones may be just as (or more) detrimental to the environment
...hmmm, maybe I should look into that before I go out buying one.
ok, I think I'll call one of my friends that works for the environment. i'm curious now.

star gazing
so tonight I watched the interview of Jennifer Lopez on ABC Primetime by Diane Sawyer.
before that I watched the MTV special on Justin Timberlake re: a documentary on
launching his new solo album (I'm sure Bev would've loved this one) ;)
My boyfriend and I watched all this while eating our chinese take-out for dinner.

mmmm...I don't really have any big reflections on what I saw, except
it was interesting to watch Justin complain about all the interviews he had to go through one day....
...how every interviewer basically asked the same questions and how tiring and frustrating it can be.
I know that what he feels and experiences are all valid
and I definitely am not trying to invalidate him,
but I honestly could not help but to roll my eyes a little...

I mean, there are millions of people in America and around the world who struggle
everyday to make an honest living
in jobs that are life-threatening, tedious, time-consuming, low-paying, un-rewarding
while this dude gets to do interviews and gets paid big bucks to do what he loves.
Perhaps I'm quick to judge, but
at the end of his "work" days, I honestly hope that he remembers how good he's got it.

Other than that, Justin's choreographer is DOPE! :)
He's completely off the hook with his stuff.
If I could only sign up for private lessons! ;)