9:32a

It finally stopped raining, but I'm pretty sure there will be more since the clouds are thick
and grey above.
It's funny how the weather can be: on Wednesday, it was lovely and sunny...
then yesterday, it was a full-on storm complete with booming thunder and
lightning...I could even hear it sizzle!
My boyfriend said that when the storm went through the city yesterday morning,
the thunder rattled their office windows on the 16th (at least I think it's the 16th) floor...scary. : (

The storm even made its way into his dream last night.
He dreamt that we were in the PI's with our friends...
there was an earthquake AND a TSUNAMI. good lawd! a tsunami!

and what did I dream?

...as usual something random: I dreamt that Bim and I decided to live in a tent
with another friend ('couldn't see who it was). We would pack our food in tupperware...
hide from the military ('cause they were looking for us)...
take showers at 24 hour fitness (I even got facials there)...
anyway, like I said, RANDOM. that's what I get for eating right before I go to bed. ;)

better
today I'm feeling better. feeling motivated to be productive. after this,
I'm gonna work on my bathroom walls. 'been putting off for the last couple of days due to my
frustration with it.
'will also work on installing the hardware on the bathroom drawers as well. 'been putting that one
off for a couple of days, too.
I'll just focus on being realistic about my goals today.
I just have this bad habit of letting things overwhelm me...things I need to accomplish.
I often look at it as this HUGE thing vs. breaking it up into manageable parts.
my boyfriend always checks me on that.
it's funny, though, how bad habits like this are still hard to break.

I got a little perspective yesterday, though, with my visit with my friend, Ellen, and my chat with my cousin.
Once again I was reminded that everything takes time and process...and that everyone has their own
time to get to where they need to be/are meant to be.
I was also happy to see the title of Angie's blog: "Deconstruct Life".
Can I just say that I totally feel that!?!!!!
If there were only more people that thought the same way.

deconstructing life
On that note, I thought I'd include the words to Avril Lavigne's "anything but ordinary",
my favorite track on her album. 'pretty much sums up how I've been feeling for quite a while now.
Ever since I came to the realization that I am actually going to turn 30 soon, my perspectives have
really changed about stuff...life...the world.

It's funny, though, because this album kinda helped inspire some of those perspectives.
But the one person who truly inspired me was an ex-co-worker, Nancy (she's about 10 years older than me),...
When the rest of my co-workers and I were complaining one day about how we were getting so old,
she was like, "well, how much older are you gonna be?"
And when we told her that we were turning 30, she replied, "30? Are you kidding? Turning 30 is one of the best things....
when I turned 30, life started over again....I realized that there was still more to learn...and did just that - learn more about
the world...turning 30 was such an amazing time for me".

All I have to say is:

Thanks, Nancy...I get it. :)
-------------------------------------------


"Anything but Ordinary"
by Avril Lavigne

Sometimes I get so wierd
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
it's my lullabye
Sometimes I drive so fast
just to feel the danger
I want to scream, it makes me feel alive

Chorus
Is it enough to love
is it enough to breathe
somebody rip my heart out
and leave me here to bleed.
Is it enough to die
somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

To walk within the lines
would make my life so boring
I want to know that I have been
to the extremes.
So knock me off my feet
come on now, give it to me
anything to make me feel alive

(chorus)

Let down your defenses
use no common sense
if you look you will see that the world is a
beautiful,
accident,
turbulent
succulent
opulent
no way
I wanna taste it
don't wanna waste it
away