11:47p

still left at the bottom of the well
sometimes life unfolds in very unexpected ways.
you think you know who you are and what you are about...your convictions and values...
and the next moment, you're back to square 1...reconstructing everything you
thought you were about...or at least thinking that you have to do that.

so did i really miss something along the way?
or did I just not do my homework very well?
it's funny how life challenges your definition of life.
so am I being challenged now to hold fast to what I've
believed in for so long..idealogies and values that have taken me years
to build/deconstruct/and then build up again?

there's gotta be a better answer out there for me.
there's gotta be a place for someone like me who's not down for
the typical, mainstream, go-with-the-flow bullshit that everyone and their momma
submit to (whether they realize it or not).

then again, I wonder if I'm just being naive.
because maybe there is only that one path to take...well,
at least if you wanna survive in this jungle.

then again, maybe I'm just getting jaded in my old age.

then again, maybe not.

maybe I just gotta finally grow up and face the facts head-on...
'challenge myself with finding solutions instead of letting the world eat me up whole.
I just know this isn't the only way.
I guess that's what I get for listening to that damn quote:
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

but how can I ignore it when it grabs hold of me everytime i read it or remember it? it's like a personal message addressed to me...with no return address.